venzy

[venzyze]

if jason grace were to have a 'normal' job as an adult, what would it be?

[anjautembear]

WHY MUST I BE PUNISHED!?

I have been scrolling NON STOP FOR THE PAST 40 MIN AND ALL I FIND IS SMUT

All I want to do is read some angst or other wholesome stuff AND NOT SMUT. Can I just for once enjoy crying in heartacke and not see a smut warning.

ARE YOU GUYS REALLY THAT HORNY!?!?😦💀

[venzyze]

if jason grace were to have a 'normal' job as an adult, what would it be?

[bugpurity]

Hear me out: really charismatic small town weatherman.

[somewhereincairparavel]

HANDSOME WEATHER REPORTER JASON THAT EVERYONE HAS A CRUSH ON IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE

[venzyze]

YEAHHH

[longingforthecosmos]

the storm clouds recede, and the sun rises anew

[actually-alice-orchid]

Jason: hey replacement, im going to visit talia in the league i need you to be red hood while im gone

Tim: why me?

Jason: you were my replacement robin, why not red hood? also i know aswell as you that younwlukd make an excellent crime lord

Tim: your still like twice my size tho

Jason: you subbed in for bruce, you can sub in for me

jason returns to find his crime empire running more efficiently and his goons incredibly freaked out as to why he was acting so mych colder and more calculating for a weak

[papayafromtv]

ok no actually the funniest way Talia should be shamed for having a one night stand with Jason during his league days is if Damian finds out and refuses to stop referring to Jason as ‘step-father’.

Damian: i request more training with step-father to improve my blade wielding abilities.

Jason, looking up and blinking: wait is that me?

Jason:

Jason: cool.

Jason, turning to Talia: i don’t mind training my step-son.

Talia:

Talia: he isn’t your step-son.

Damian: yes i am.

Talia: Damian, no. he can’t be your father. he’s seventeen.

Damian: oh and that’s an issue is it?

Talia:

Damian:

Jason: *grinning in delight at the family drama*

-later, upon Damian’s arrival in Gotham-

Bruce: and these are your brothers,

Damian: ah yes, i am aware of them.

Damian, nodding at the batkids: Grayson, Drake,

Damian, turning to Jason: step-father,

Jason, solemnly: step-son. good to see you again.

Bruce, having a heart attack: imsorryexcusemewhatnow-?

[maisy1111]

pov: you’re scrolling trying to find a cute little fluffy fanfic to read but everything you get is smut 

no smut hate, i just want to giggle :(

[elvinapandra]

POV : you have been scrolling for the past hour and all you see is SMUT

Please...life is lot more than fucking🙏🏻

[bianc0re]

Take a picture, it will last longer

[ciricearts]

I giggled doing this hehe

[bruciemilf]

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“You thought you ate that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

[ere-the-sun-rises]

This comes back to bite them all in the ass when the curse wears off but Bruce still remembers. While he's back to business as Batman, when he's Brucie ...

And that's how Bruce wound up as a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race.

[sourkreem]

man, i hate it when ppl portray dick as a guy who cheats and sleeps around spreading stds

[chaoticbatfam]

Jason: *icing cake he baked* Tim: oh, cool. Can I take a picture? That’s really pretty. Jason: uh, sure? Why? Tim: to post it on insta. Jason: *stops icing cake* what’s insta? Tim: Tim: *look of slowly dawning horror* you died. Oh my god you died— Jason: *muttering* I thought we already acknowledged that. You know, quite explosively acknowledged it Tim: *completely speaking over him* DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A SNAPCHAT IS? FUCK— Jason: dude you’re hyperventilating

[parker-artio]

Bruce Wayne is definitely that father. The father who buys stuff in bulk the second he hears his kids like it. You open the pantry the day after you mention around Bruce you like any kind of food, and that’s the only thing you see for the next five months.

Tim snacking on something he found in the foyer, working on a case while needing a nap, seeing Bruce enter: mh..

Bruce seeing him: hm?

Tim holding up the snack: Mhm.

Bruce: hmm…

Tim the next day, freshly awake from a 10 hour long coma nap, entering the foyer: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Said snack being the only thing on the first 10 shelves.

Bruce walking by: I went shopping.

[animentality]

kicking a hornets nest.

[papayafromtv]

there was a misunderstanding when Jason came back to life but only bcs he decided that he didn’t want to deal with Bruce and all his shit right then so he made a turn on the way to Gotham and decided to start off small by reuniting with Dick in Bludhaven instead. work his way up.

issue is Dick’s been hallucinating Jason for the past 6 months. not even in a particularly sad way, just in a ‘my little brother mocks me from the corners of the room daily and i can’t even do anything about it bcs he’s DEAD’ way. every time he calls hallucination-Jason an asshole the little prick says ‘ok but you didn’t come to my funeral’ and there’s really no good response to that. so when ALIVE Jason shows up in his apartment and in an emotionally constipated attempt to soften the blow of ‘im not dead, surprise!’ decides to just act casual and brotherly without any big displays or anything, Dick… responds in kind.

Jason: oh thank fuck we’re on the same page. no need for crying or annoying long conversations we can just work on. getting used to being a family again. this is ideal.

Dick: hey the asshole hallucination grew up. my subconscious is getting really creative.

Jason stays at Dick’s place for the next few weeks and they both settle into a comfortable cohabitation in which one brother is really relieved that he can focus on calming the Lazarus rage and being a younger brother without any over-emotional displays he isn’t comfortable with, and the other does not know he is living with a real life other person. it’s honestly the most they’ve ever gotten along before.

the realisation only hits when Jason wakes Dick up at 3 in the morning because he couldn’t sleep and made bbq ribs and wanted to know if he wanted any, and Dick in his barely conscious state was like ‘fuck yeah, hallucination ribs i can TASTE!’ and then the next morning he wakes up with sticky fingers and sauce all over his sheets and the dishes they ate off cleaned and put back in the cupboard, and Dick makes the connection of like. there is no way on earth his half asleep mind would even CONSIDER cleaning up the cutlery after eating. but Jason 100% would. which means Jason cleaned up last night. which means the ribs were real and so was he. which means-

holy fucking shit his brother’s alive

Bruce is not impressed when after the eventual big family reunion he asks Dick why the fuck he didn’t tell anybody else that Jason was alive and Dick goes bright red before mumbling ‘well he didn’t want to share his food until week four of living with me….’

[imbatman-imtired]

Mainly because I’m Batman.

that’s a lie i would rather die than lose my kids