Who I am will depend on who you talk to

Here are the facts, as I see them... I go by the nickname Jami. I was born January 1995. I am currently a university student and a soon to be english and history teacher. I am freckled, I am small in staure but big in personality. I love to think and rant about life and that is why I am on tumblr 

[vintageoz]

The secret to a happy life

The school holidays are coming to an end and as a school teacher I am in preparation mode for the upcoming term. I am all abuzz with the possibilities that lie ahead. I will be teaching my students persuasive writing, delving into a film study and beginning to expand my pupils knowledge of the world- starting with ancient China. My mind however keeps returning to the students I know are riddled with anxiety and anger. They come to school with folded fists and clenched jaws ready to swing at anything that looks their way. The work challenges them- they throw a right hook, they prefer math and science- cue the verbal attack and god forbid another student crosses their path. They come to school prepared for a fight and they will do anything in their power to get one. BUT WHY? I was mulling over this question knowing full well I could deliver the content for next semester but could I provide an environment where all my students thrive? I stopped and wondered ‘what was the secret to happiness I seemed to possess when I was at school?’ and ‘Did I unwittingly learn how to come to school happy, or was it simply circumstance?’ 

The answer in full detail: Firstly I came from a happy home. My parents taught me what happy looked like. My dad was diagnosed with depression and insomnia when I was 8 and spent a chunk of time in hospital receiving treatment. That being said he is the happiest man I know. He knows how to find joy. He appreciates what he has rather than what he is lacking (and the stories of his childhood suggest he was lacking a lot). My dad does not create lists of things he would be happier with instead he points out what he has. My mum ensures those around her achieve their best and finds happiness in providing happiness in others. She is happy with what she has  and shares that . I came to school knowing what happy looked liked and could replicate it. I did not observe what others had or what I was missing instead i focused on what I had (and luckily for me the school encouraged it).  Secondly, somewhere along the way i picked up the skill of self-confidence. I had absolute faith in my ability (even when I was trash). I knew I was a little odd; I dressed differently, I read non-stop and I even wore my hair short (for a girl in late primary and early high school this was apparently unimaginable). I knew who I was and what I was capable of thus I walked into the school yard head held high.  So how do I get my students to feel the same way? Well I realised I cant..... I can ask them to list the things that make them happy, not the material objects but the things that make them happy that they did not buy they simply had them. I can talk about sparing compassionate thoughts for others and loving themselves BUT ultimately they have to choose to be happy and thats hard!!  

[vintageoz]

sexuality??

I am not a traditionalist, yet I am a heterosexual woman who aspires to be in monogamous relationship. But I stress I am not a traditionalist.

yes I believe in monogamy but I refuse to be in a relationship were we depend upon each other and live in each others pockets. I don’t want to be someones only person. I want my future partner to have friends and people that give them the things I can’t (I am not a great complimentor you may need to go elsewhere). We will be a partnership but not each other’s worlds. I can’t be everything and I would not expect my future partner to be everything too. I have my mum, my dad, my brother and my close friends I don’t need my partner to replace them. In a sense I believe in non-sexual polyamory having multiple relationships in my life that offer me love, however I view sex as a monogamous commitment.  If you are my boyfriend I expect that that you won’t be having sex with anyone else. If this is something you can’t commit to thats ok, it just means this relationship wont work. I don’t need someone to be my everything!!

I am also extremely attracted to men who are self aware and uniquely styled.Whilst I can see beautiful women,  I have never imagined ending up with a woman.  In order for me to be interested in a guy he has to be able to analyse and express himself with this self awareness. If he dresses uniquely he will immediately grab me attention. His clothes show me that he has thought about his place in the world. It has to be unique, it has to show thought. I also have an instant attraction to men who identify as bi-sexual and or sexual fluid. I find that being a heterosexual often means you can ignore the sexual identity conversation with yourself. I need to be with someone who is open to the conversations and has thought about their identity. This does not exclude heterosexual men, but I know straight up (pun not intended) that someone who lives outside the norm has already given it some thought.  

Marriage??? not necessary for me but if my partner wants the ceremony its got to be done at city hall. I will not be a part of a lengthy vow ceremony they kill me!! I am so up for the dressing up part but the long drawn out lecture on life and love according to a celebrant/ minister is annoying as hell. I want to sign the papers and go have a party. 

DON’T buy me flowers, or dedicate songs to me. It makes me uncomfortable I don’t need that kind of attention. Look at what I love and think of gifts like that, if you need to get me a present. Clean the house, make the bed, just do things that are little surprises. I don’t want gushy!!! 

My sexuality may look traditional on paper- but OMG do not stick me in a traditional relationship. 

[vintageoz]

I am back with a purpose

I have recently been listening to a podcast called the Love Bomb by Nico Tortorella, where he and his many guests discuss all things love. I adore these conversations and was inspired to make my own. However I have always had an affinity for writing, so no podcast for me instead I will be writing my pondering right here on Tumblr. 

Stay tuned for all my self-observations...Oh a feel free to comment 

[vintageoz]

Does one ever feel like you’ve got your shit together?

For years it was peddled to women that ones shit could only be together if one was a dutiful wife with a small hoard of children. A man had his shit together when he had his job and doting family. Of course through the years this definition has changed, but what does this mean for the young people of today and the future????

I was born in 1995 in January which make me currently 21 years of age. I am in my last years of my Bachelor Degree of Education with honours and recently completed my bachelor of Arts with a History major as well as a double minor in Literature and Politics (provided my results are good which come out soon). This means I have successfully finished primary school, high school and one university degree (hopefully). I have been a school leader, a contributor in all classrooms and even devoted time to my community. I have an amazing family and friends that suit me (I know that sounds cold but I am an introvert who needs friends that give me space- and thankfully mine do). I have a casual job that provides me with an income although not fulfilment, but cash is cash right?  Do I have my shit together? 

HOWEVER...    

I still live at home- as I am sure many university students will attest its expensive and time consuming to study.  I have yet to find someone who interests me enough to elicit the word “BOYFRIEND”, in fact the whole dating scene eludes me. I like the idea of naming children, but having them is an entirely different story (I am not a fan of children under the age of tying their own shoelaces, or wiping their own faces). I know I want to be a high school history teacher, but where and what type of school I don’t know (JUST GET ME OUT OF RETAIL). Most importantly I still feel like a child. Does this make me a hot mess? 

HOWEVER...

I am young. I am fulfilled. I read and watch whatever I like, with incredible enjoyment. I find comfort and happiness with my family. YET my friends and peers are married, child bearing homeowners with full time jobs. 

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER and DOES IT EVER FEEL LIKE IT HAS HAPPENED?     

Questions and ramblings of a somewhat confused young adult/ old child. 

[vintageoz]

Period ‘fuck it’ Enlightenment

I realised today I am in an age of period enlightenment. 

I have had my period for 9 years now, and today I was sitting in a lecture when I felt my period begin. I didn’t have pads with me but there are several stores on campus that I could have got them from. Instead I went fuck it, whats done is done. I sat there bleeding for 2 hours and drove home. 

This situation in my early years would have caused me to panic, but today I was like “fuck you, I am not spending my money on pads when I have good ones at home”. I have reached the Fuck it stage of Periods and am Loving it. 

So to all young people experiencing their first periods, it doesn’t get better but it does get easier . You’ll learn what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, unless you have medical condition which in that case- I am so sorry!!

[princessofpoldark]

[vintageoz]

The best line of the series so far. !!

[lindsayslohan]

[beachdeath]

Mark Hamill speaking to fans at Oxford Union. 

[danceemacabre-deactivated202010]

THIS! IS! SO! IMPORTANT!

[gtoops]

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU WILL SEE TODAY

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

oh my god mr. medina

who writes a D so big that it covers the first three lines of the paper and then SAVAGELY CIRCLES IT

why are you even writing the grade on the first page of the paper for everyone to see

have you never heard of ferpa

did you go to the heartless monster school of teaching??

what kind of sick institution is chilton???

if i were lorelai i would have literally never dated him based on this cruel treatment alone, and dreamy fictional english teachers are my kryptonite

[vintageoz]

Plus you’ll never open that paper up, put the grade on the last page with a comment section so that students are forced to atleast look at the marking you’ve done when they flick through the pages and the comment lets you know that they are not a ‘d’, but this piece of paper is elvatated as a d and can be improved by doing this. No one is a grade, a d or a fail is simply stating that you are capable of more and here is how i propose you can do it

[gilmoregirlsquotes]

[halfagony-halfhope]

They [men] are far too easy to judge.

[sandandglass]

Nish Kumar, NZ International Comedy Gala 2016

[buzzfeedlgbt]

Nearly every year, for the past thirty years, Frances Goldin has gone to New York City Pride holding a sign that reads, “I adore my lesbian daughters. Keep them safe.” (x)

“Since the beginning of the parade, I’ve been going and waving my sign,” Goldin said. “It sort of hit a nerve with people, particularly those whose parents rejected them. The response to the sign is always so great — it urges me to keep going.” “Everybody would come running up to her and cry, kiss her, and say, ‘Would you call my mother?’ or ‘Would you be my mother?’” her daughter, Sally, explained. 

“She’d take down names and addresses and write letters to these kids’ mothers!” 

When asked about all the young LGBT parade-goers who have begged her to speak to their own mothers, Goldin replied, “I think I changed a few people’s minds and I’m glad about that. Everyone should support their gay and lesbian children, they’re missing a lot in life if they don’t.”

[sirxusblack]

I lost a brother in the war, and my fiance. I can’t make sense of it either, except when I held the hand of that German, it was their hands too that I was holding. Their pain was the same pain, their blood the same blood, our grief is the grief of hundreds and thousands of German women and men! I speak to those of us who were left behind! The mothers, sisters, women. We sent our men to war! I fought my father to let my brother go. Because we think it’s the right thing, the honourable thing, but all I can do is stand here and ask you, is it? Was I right? Or can I find the courage to accept there might be another way? Perhaps their deaths have meaning only if we stand together now, and say no! No to killing, no to war! No to the endless cycle of revenge.

[birdwithapeopleface]

It saddens me to see girls proudly declaring they’re not like other girls – especially when it’s 41,000 girls saying it in a chorus, never recognizing the contradiction. It’s taking a form of contempt for women – even a hatred for women – and internalizing it by saying, Yes, those girls are awful, but I’m special, I’m not like that, instead of stepping back and saying, This is a lie. … The real meaning of “I’m not like the other girls” is, I think, “I’m not the media’s image of what girls should be.” Well, very, very few of us are. Pop culture wants to tell us that we’re all shallow, backstabbing, appearance-obsessed shopaholics without a thought in our heads beyond cute boys and cuter handbags. It’s a lie – a flat-out lie – and we need to recognize it and say so instead of accepting that judgment as true for other girls, but not for you.

“I’m not like the other girls”, Claudia Gray  (via mythandrists)

This!!!!!

For years we have been fed the lie that being a ‘girl’ is something negative, because girls  are over emotional, bitchy, self-obsessed, shallow and not into sports or video games ect!!! We get so indoctrinated that we begin to think that although I am not like this, all other girls must be. We sell out our own gender to flatter our own ego. Being a ‘girl’ a ‘woman’ a ‘lady’ says very little about who you are, but its a title we should be proud to hold. 

Men and women continually compliment women, in fact men as well, by saying ‘you’re not like other girls/boys’, suggesting there is something wrong with the gender as a whole. What I would suggest to men and women, when complimenting a woman or man on there specialness, pick the characteristic that makes them special to you. EG. She is into AFL- “I love that you know footy, because I enjoy it too”. 

I am like every other girl, in the sense that we all fight this horrible stereotype. I am doing my best not to throw other girls under the bus.   

[vintage-fashionista]

Katharine Hepburn

[applejuicepro]

“I get so tired of the industry and the population in general writing off TV shows and movies that are rooted in the fantastical as drivel…Why do we start judging other people based on what they like?” - Cate and the Rant

“Let us not desert one another; we are an injured body…Although our productions have afforded more extensive and unaffected pleasure than those of any other literary corporation in the world, no species of composition has been so much decried.” - Northanger Abbey, Chapter 5