Chaotic Gay

If I did half the things I said I'd do, my life would be half as bad

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

imagine thinking nail polish is a gendered thing. unnecessary shiny adornment has no gender, if anything it’s more crow than human

[pfcanimal]

Nail polish itself isn’t gendered, but most people who work with their hands for a living don’t want to spend money so flippantly on an ornament, that’s going to be destroyed by the work being done.

You’re not wrong about nail polish not being gendered, but most careers in said trades are usually dominated by men, unopposed.

[aliteralanomalocaris]

Imagine thinking that there’s no issue with an unbalanced workforce

[pfcanimal]

You plan on signing up for a craftsmen trade?

Howmany women do you se becoming plumbers? Electricians? Framers? Masonaries?

You don’t. Because it’s not a sold easy job, it’s serious work that almost no one wants to do.

I’m not say I take no issues with an unbalanced workforce, it’s that no one takes issue with an unbalanced work force.

When was the last time you say a push for more women in septic tank repair?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Hey guys this just in, women aren’t interested in

Serious Manly Work

they prefer the

Easy Feminine Jobs

[queer--punk-deactivated20190603]

Non-binary people prefer not to work at all and just drift through reality avoiding all jobs

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

CAN CONFIRM

[rambosaysso]

Fun fact: my dad actively tried to push me to become a Plummer (he was a bricky and mason by trade) because he said there was shit ton of money for women in those types of male dominated trades. After all no woman home alone really wants a random guy to come into their house and do repairs.

Now I chose not to persue that, not to keep my nail polish clean but because I’m a more academic than practical person…

My little sister however, has just started her own ‘handyman’ business and is making a killing because my dad was right and all of her customers are women who don’t want a scary guy in the house. She has Plummed in bathrooms, refit kitchens, torn down walls, replastered buildings, and yes…unclogged pipes.

She also has the fanciest nails I’ve ever seen.

[briliantlyfreakish]

So much love for your sister!

It reminds me oh the lady who started a mechanic shop where all the mechanics were ladies. And they had a nail salon inside so that the ladies had stuff to do while they waited.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

if i wasn’t non-binary and drifting through reality i would absolutely become a plumber 

[violetpride]

me: I have a very serious problem and would like it if I had someone to talk to please?

my friends: haha so anyway back to me

[snout]

what are these “shower thoughts” everybody’s talking about, i dont think about anything in the shower, my mind is completely blank as i douse my body in scalding hot water and stare at a wall

[yekkes]

Lesbianism is about freedom tbh.,. Freedom from men, freedom from heterosexuality, freedom to look as goofy and tacky as you want, freedom to love and fuck women. Lesbianism is good, life as a lesbian is good!

[hearthome-deactivated20210601]

full offence to the people in the comments arguing about this but if you think lesbianism (and lgbt identities in general) is only as deep as its definition, you’re a fucking idiot

[confusedpumpkin]

Child at the museum: I brought my stuffed eagle today!

Me, volunteer at the museum: Hey, that’s awesome! Did you know that birds like your eagle are actually dinosaurs, just like these guys?

Child: Really!?!?

Me: Yes, really!

Child: *gasps* I HAD NO IDEA THAT EAGLES WERE BIRDS!

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

What she says: I’m fine.

What she means: Cinderella’s given name is actually Ella. “Cinderella“ is the cruel nickname given to her by her stepsisters because she’s always covered in soot from the fireplace they make her sleep in.

Dumbo’s given name is Jumbo Jr. “Dumbo” is the cruel nickname given to him by the elephant women once they see his large ears. We never see a Jumbo Sr. so the implication is that his father is dead and those women are actually mocking a widow and her young child.

These characters are actively marketed and merchandised with the handles given to them by cruel and abusive people from their troubled childhoods.

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

See also: Scar

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Scar’s actual name is Taka which literally means trash, tbh the mean nickname was actually a step up from being named Stinky Garbage Boy.

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Imagine naming one kid “king“ and the other kid “garbage“. No wonder he became a villain.

[updatebug]

Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like: 

“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?” 

“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.” 

“…Noted.” 

“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.” 

“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”

“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”

“Yeah.”

“Does such a process not hurt?”

“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.” 

“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?” 

“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?” 

“…I believe I should speak with my superiors.” 

[batzendrick-deactivated20230703]

I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs.

[tumblunni]

Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

I’m not your average skateboarder. I don’t “dress like a stoner.” I don’t “know how to skateboard.” I don’t “disrespect authority.” I’ve never “been on a skateboard.”

[kaijuno]

Hi please watch this video of a man getting rekt by a 450hp fan

[bunjywunjy]

if I had a 450hp fan, this is exactly the sort of shit I would get up to

[c3rvida3]

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

[drivablecar]

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

[c3rvida3]

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.

[drivablecar]

Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.

[c3rvida3]

First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.

And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.

[antibutch-deactivated20180507]

Big muscle trans girls

reblog if you agree.

[snarlahazard]

I heard U were talking about me?

[antibutch-deactivated20180507]

Holy shit. :3

[swordofevilsban]

@thirty-helens @lady-feral

[lady-feral]

Fine, fine.  I’ll play.

[rocketmermaid]

YESSSSS

Can I play?

I may not be as impressive as the other wonderful women in this post, but I still have some muscle!

[sogay4rey-deactivated20190825]

I reblogged this post yesterday or the day before thinking something along the lines of “wow these women are so gorgeous and ripped and I wish my muscles were that big but since then these pictures came into existence

and like maybe this post is EXACTLY where I belong. 

[submissivefeminist]

Look at these strong ass women!

[pinkpeppermints]

My poor gay heart can’t handle this. I am smol, throw me over your shoulder and carry me to Valhalla.

[that-dyke-deactivated20181208]

I’ve never seen women like me represented before!! This is me!

[antibutch-deactivated20180507]

AHHH YOUR MUSCLES ARE SO NICE

[gean-grey-deactivated20161027]

I AM SO HERE FOR THIS

[askcosplaysenpai]

100% here for this holy shit you are all ass-kickingly gorgeous

[spacebians]

Being trans and shying away from working out because “muscles aren’t feminine” despite enjoying it this means a lot to me

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

GORGEOUS BUFF LADIES YAAAASSSSSS

[inksmd]

GORGEOUS

[antibutch-deactivated20180507]

this is still one of my favorite posts ive ever made. if this is what im know for on tumblr im happy

[transgirlpinup]

Always reblog.

[honey-sunny-bee]

These are beautiful women

[fandomshateblackpeople]

[ororomunroedontpullout]

These white People need to get their ass beat a bit.

[baptizm-deactivated20200524]

White people shut the fuck up and die challenge

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

we have to bully these people we have to get them to delete and go back to fanfiction.net please someone get them to delete 

[violetpride]

'antis come from radfems, and radfems come from Catholicism' is the dumbest thing I've ever read

[d1rtypaws]

I hate that the Dairy Queen cashiers have to flip your blizzard upside down before giving it to you. I hate it. I know it’s most likely going to stay in it’s cup and I know I get a free one if it doesn’t, but the cocktail of a potential disaster and the cashier apologizing to what is most definitely a horrified me, having to sit in a drive-thru while someone behind me just bore witness to my fucking salted caramel blondie blizzard splattering on the asphalt, melting away while they mix me another one and i pray to god that they don’t flip it upside down again, is just a stress that I find entirely unnecessary. I trust it’s thick, just give me your word and i’ll be on my merry way.

[d1rtypaws]

I just imagined how it would feel to have them flip your second blizzard and have it spill too and I felt my shoulders physically tense

[mrgulogulo]

I’ve only been to DQ like 3 times in my life but the 2nd time I ordered a milkshake or something and I heard about DQ drinks not spilling when you flip them. I was not aware that this ability was only relegated to their blizzards. So long story short I said “hey, look at this” to my family and they watched me pour my milkshake on the ground.

[yungapricot]

I looked up “how to exact revenge” and I came across an image that resonates with me daily.

[lepetitprlnce]

ok so i’m kinda curious about something, reblog this and add what the weirdest thing in your room right now is in the tags

[dollygale]

i was looking through the tags on this post and some of them are funny

but most of them are REALLY WEIRD

WHAT HTE FUCK

WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT

I DON”T EVEN WANT TO KN O W 

MOTHER FUCK OF A SH TI 

[cramp]

dont become friends with me, ill seem really cool at first but im actually really annoying and i cry alot

[whitepeopletwitter]

The wild Wild West

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Fucking superb you funky little cowboy