Obsessed Fangirl

[writing-prompt-s]

The queen is 6 years old. The plan was to, like, have a regent or something, but she’s doing such a good job that no one can be bothered.

[eraserheadadult]

the situation with harry potter is kind of unprecedented in some ways imo because it is maybe the largest media franchise in history to be created & owned by a single person who still has direct creative control over it. who is also a billionaire with significant cultural/political influence. like the usual "no ethical consumption under capitalism" type excuses shatter on impact when the bigoted author in question is logging onto twitter every day saying explicitly that when you buy the tim hortons ravenclaw donut she is using your donut money to fund the genocide of trans people. like with big franchises usually there's at least a little more diffusion of responsibility than this

[writing-prompt-s]

"So if you win the duel, you get to take her on a date." They both nodded. "And if she wins the duel, she gets to take you on a date." They both nodded. "So why don't you both just... Skip that and go on a date?" They both glared.

[writing-prompt-s]

Several "silent protagonist" type adventurers are getting on the guilds nerves with their refusal to speak, so in an attempt to teach them a lesson the guild leadership forces them to team up. Much to the guilds annoyance they all manage to work together flawlessly in spite of never speaking.

[ramslambsandwolves]

Shane shortly before waking Ilya up at the cottage: ‘Hmmmmm, I can’t trap him with a baby. wait let me google……okay i definitely can’t get pregnant. Hold on…..sea-horse dads?…..nevermind…..can i adopt a baby-trap?…………no I’d just have a kid……………………okay wait what if we like coached some kids? Like they wouldn’t be ours but like- we wouldn’t be able to break-up because of the kids. Am i fucking on drugs? What the fuck am i thinking……..wait………..like a team of kids but it’s like charity…………cause men leave their children all the time but it would be a really bad look to leave a charity……………….i can make a charity and it’ll have kids and we’ll help the kids……..and Ilya likes kids…………and he likes me………..and he’ll wanna stay with me forever….so he’ll be baby trapped AND we’ll be doing a good thing.* “Ilya wake up i have an idea.”

[mutinsfromthemoon]

they’re chilling in the living room at their home in ottawa, each lying on a couch. ilya is making noise with his mouth “pspspspsps” and shane already annoyed asks “what the fuck are you doing?” and ilya replies “calling you, that’s how you call kitttens” and shane throws a pillow at him.

[akemi2003]

Fic prompt #87

Dpxdc

I love the trope where Danny becomes the Ghost King, but I was thinking about a phrase I read in a fic some time ago where he says that, as Ghost King, he is the judge, jury, and executioner.

It got me wondering: has there ever been a fic where he was literally the judge of souls?

We know Pariah Dark declared himself Ghost King by force. He conquered the Infinite Realms; he wasn’t chosen. So what if the Ghost Zone already had an actual judicial system before Pariah took over? A court responsible for judging newly arrived souls, determining unresolved obligations, deciding whether crimes committed in life still carry over into death, and settling disputes between ghosts.

Then Danny defeats Pariah.

Everyone assumes he’ll become the new king…

…only to discover that the position of “Ghost King” doesn’t actually exist in any legal sense. Pariah made it up.

What does exist is the highest office in the Realms: the High Judge.

And, thanks to his absolutely ridiculous résumé—former Protector Spirit, defender of both the living and the dead, countless world-saving feats, repeatedly choosing mercy over vengeance despite every reason not to—Danny is unanimously appointed to the position almost immediately.

Now he’s the one deciding whether a soul deserves redemption, punishment, reincarnation, or release.

The DC universe eventually finds out.

Maybe the Justice League requests an audience to argue that Constantine’s soul should be considered off-limits because of all the deals he’s made.

Maybe Jason Todd gets summoned to testify after the Joker finally dies, because no one is better qualified to speak on the impact of the Joker’s crimes.

Maybe a villain tries to exploit a loophole by dying before sentencing, only to discover that earthly justice is no longer the only court with jurisdiction.

Or perhaps Batman is horrified to learn that the final appeal for every soul isn’t before a god…

…it’s before a twenty-year-old in a black-and-white hazmat suit eating a burger while reading through centuries of case law.

—————

If anyone has more ideas for how this premise could play out—I’d love to hear them.

[jinjeriffic]

Now I'm picturing Danny reluctantly applying to law school, because he does NOT feel qualified for this job. At least let him pass the bar before he is relegated to rendering judgement on all the souls in the universe! Souls went unjudged for thousands of years, they can wait a few more years until he gets his degree and some job experience, geeze

[celenequinn]

Saw a post about Stratt and Grace getting married so he couldn’t testify against her in court and I believe the interaction goes something like as follows:

“Grace, I need your signature.”

Grace looked up from his work in his closet of an office. Stratt closed the door behind her.

“An autograph? I’m flattered.”

She pushed the work off his already disheveled desk and set a single paper on top. It kind of looked like his degree, it kind of looked like-

“A marriage license? Well, now I’m really flattered.”

“For legal reasons. Just sign.” Stratt muttered.

“Are you serious?”

Of course she was serious. She only was serious. But she seemed…uncomfortable? The feeling looked strange on her. Eyes dart between the paper and him. Arms crossed over her chest as if hugging herself. It was definitely a new look. They were in new territory.

“I’m not the marrying type.” said Grace. “And I think I forgot to propose.”

Stratt breathed in deeply. Steeling herself.

“Grace,” Her hands were fidgeting with the cuff of her sleeve. “What I’m doing here is illegal. I’ve broken alot of rules to give the crew a chance to save us. But once the mission begins…the world order will need to go back to how it was.”

Grace listened intently trying to make eye contact with her glassy gaze. He hadn’t thought to much about the legality of it all. After all, that was her job.

“I will be put on trial. I will be found guilty. I will serve the rest of my life behind bars. That is my cost.” Stratt continued, “You, the team, will all be fine. But-”

She pushed the license closer to Grace.

“Spouses don’t testify in court.”

Finally she looked at him. She wasn’t telling him to sign. If that was the case she probably would’ve just forged his signature. Hell, she probably has a whole team just for that purpose. She was asking him.

His choice. Just between the two of them.

“We don’t have to sleep together, right?”

Her eyes went big. “God Grace! No! Just sign the damn paper!” she huffed.

He smiled. And put his name under hers.

Husband and wife.

Well, more like “Most powerful person in the world” and “Some guy she kept around.” But still. Till death do they part.



[liberalsarecool]

Vote for progressives. #DSA #ZohranMamdani

[totearup]

Harris gets the idea to do a video asking the team popular questions they get from comments. Bood explains his tattoos, Lucca assures everyone that he is actually 21 (his most popular question is 'who is letting that baby boy play hockey?'), Troy has to defend salmon as a snack again, Wyatt's question is why Marvel? And harris has to cut the video and just put in a screen that says 'answer cut for time'.

Anyway Harris finds Ilya in the gym doing pull-ups or something and Shane is in the background on a treadmill. Harris goes to Ilya "So your most popular question is, Can Ilya Rozanov fight?"

Ilya drops down to the floor and crosses his arms (slightly swollen and sweaty from the pull ups) and mostly fake scowls at the camera, "I see this question all the time because people are very tempted by my very hot husband." He wags a finger at the camera, "But he is mine you cannot take him. I can fight very well." He smirks at the camera now.

Then Shane pops up behind him, having stopped his run, "I can also fight." And Harris is like, "oh no one asked you that Shane."

And Shane shrugs, "No I know, but if they're asking Ilya because they're going to fight him to like, steal me or whatever, they should know I would also fight to stay."

And he also smirks at the camera and Ilya looks at him with such a gooey lovestruck look that it immediately becomes a meme.

Ilya reblogs the meme with a gif of Shane demolishing one of those punching bag games ala Hudson.

[sweetangelfart]

The folks at the ikea in Ottawa are so accustomed to see shane and ilya shopping for bedframes furniture that one of the older sales women who is all very stern looking and no bullshit bitch face just straight up tut-tut-tuts in their faces after finding them in the beds aisle again for the 3rd time in the 4 months since their first visit.

Shane refuses to make eye contact with her while a pink blush paints the back of neck and burns his cheek. Ilya on the other hand is bashfully delighted and if not for shane grabbing him by the lapels of his sweater and whispering in broken russian through gritted teeth.

The lady looks at them this time and ilya greets her with a big big smile and tells them that they're here to buy a bed frame again thats a bit more sturdier. Shane is quick to add the fact that it is due to them being athletes and bulky and the previous frames being unable to accommodate the same...not due to anything else. He looks like he might throw up with how pale he looks.

The lady just hmphs, rolls her eyes and says... maybe you boys should get a custom frame made, you're going through them like candy...and walks away to fluff up the pillows of another set. Both ilya and shane look at her with their mouth open like a fish. Shane nearly leaves skid marks pulling out the parking lot while just howls with laughter sitting in the passenger seat.

They end up dropping bigggg bucks on getting a solid bedframe with a few bells and whistles added for their new expeditions and shane is so so SO glad for her suggestion.

[evilbeehivedemocracy]

Another thing I posted about on my old account but I'm obsessed with so I want to bring it back.

Shane and Ilya are invited to a sexy Halloween party and they decided to do cow boy and his cow and they rock paper scissors to see who will get to be the cowboy and Ilya wins.

And he's all smug about it like "what Shane, are you grumpy you have to be my cow? At least you are very pretty one"

And throughout the week or so they have to plan Ilya bugs Shane trying to figure out what he's doing for his costume and Shane refuses to tell but Ilya knows that spark in Shane's eyes and knows he's planning something.

When the party comes up, last minute Shane says they should change and travel separately. That he's gonna go pregame and get ready with rose and Ilya's sad but whatever he guesses he's less likely to get distracted iykwim

So that's what they do and Ilya gets there first which is very unlike Shane. Ilya's outfit is pretty straight to the point but still sexy. Low buttoned shirt, tight jeans, rolled up sleeves, etc.

After about 10 more minutes he finally catches sight of Shane and holy shit.

Shane really went all out on the sexy part, clearly trying to get back at ilya. He's wearing the shortest shorts he could possibly get away with without it being public nudity. A cow print button down shirt that's tied up by his waist so his belly is showing. No sleeves at all and boots, and do top it all off little cow ears and a tail.

He's even got a fucking bell on and rose helped him do some cute makeup on his nose. Ilya's absolute drooling and the worst part is it's obvious Ilya isn't the only one drooling over Shane either.

Shane strides over to Ilya and holds himself with confidence. At some point he pulls out a little leash and clips it to his bell collar before promptly handing it to Ilya, looking somehow so innocent as he does all of it.

Only reason they haven't left yet is because Shane is whining to stay. He worked so hard on his outfit and he wants to show it off. Ilya 100% knows what he's doing but he can't deny that, yeah, it would be a little disappointing not to get the best out of this look. He'll get what he's desperate for soon enough anyways.

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[itseasytoremember]

I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

[shofarsogood]

[mutinsfromthemoon]

“hollzy not coming?” wyatt asks when ilya finally approaches and ilya answers “oh, no. you know how my shane is when it’s practice day he sometimes overworks himself, my little hockey obsessed boy” he explained and the guys nodded in agreement and one of the rookies says “aw man i wanted to talk to hollander”. shane is actually passed out in bed after being edged for hours by his husband cus shane checked ilya a little too hard in the practice and they exchanged stares and ilya mouthed “you’re paying for that later”

[mutinsfromthemoon]

ilya in the situationship era “it’s just fucking”. ilya now being a married man lying on top of his husband and kissing him all over his face and saying between kisses “oh my god i love you so much” MWAH MWAH MWAH “i can’t live without you even for a second” MWAH MWAH MWAH and shane giggling beet red on his face cus even after so many years together he’s still gets shy around his husband. it’s just two men who still have crushes on each other

[byjove]

I like to imagine King Arthur refused to believe he was adopted as a child because if your mean older brother said “You’re not even related to us, a wizard dropped you off at our house when you were a baby.” you would be sooooo skeptical.

[byjove]

Ector introducing Arthur to people as his foster son and Arthur explaining that it is a familial inside joke after he walks away.

[cooking-with-hailstones]

"The last time any human touched Ryland Grace was an act of horrific violence"

Well... Yes and no.

The last time Ryland Grace was CONSCIOUS of any human touch was when he was knocked out. Absolutely true.

But the last human contact he would have had was Yao and Ilyukhina. Who were told that he was scared about panicking during launch and asked to be sedated. Who did all the pre flight checks before the Hail Mary launched. Who would have carefully, gently carried Grace to his bed in the dormitory, made sure he was secure, and initiated his coma procedure.

There would have been love there. Remember Ilyukhina throwing her hands high and saying "welcome to crew!" Remember Yao saying how he hoped Grace would say yes. Remember how much the crew trusted Grace, Stratt's First Officer, the guy who helped them so much, and was so kind to them, and was the one who they entrusted their preferred methods of suicide to. Who thought they were wonderful and brave.

They would have tucked him in. Maybe brushed his hair out of his face. Maybe said something kind to him before initiating their own coma procedures.

Ryland Grace doesn't remember, of course he wouldn't. But the last human touch he ever had was full of love.