violet

💜 21 💜 bpd 💜 hpd 💜 npd💜szpd💜  

[vpdvent-blog]

me at work, having a panic attack in the stairwell and feeling very guilty about it: is this "cringe"? is this what angry 13-year-olds would put in a video with "cringe" in the title?

[jeffreymarsh]

‪You were promised something by life: you will survive this moment, you will be ok‬

‪💛🌈‬

[keatonpatti]

[brinty]

when you try to tell a joke but nobody gets it

[parentless-suggestions]

Every day the thought passes my head at least once: “which one would my parents prefer me as: dead or gay”

[kaijuno]

People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.

[dynamicsymmetry]

The holidays are coming up. Retail workers are going to be spiraling into a nightmare beyond human comprehension. If you’ve worked retail, you know this. If you haven’t, be aware of it. Please be kind to every retail worker you come across. Please be patient and understanding. It is misery out there.

[vpdvent-blog]

I think I've written about this before, but before I started working in retail, I worked in a dementia care home. people’s lives were (very much indirectly) literally in my hands - and that’s so incredibly nerve-wracking. but I would still go back to that over retail every time. and if that seems fucked, then maybe that’s because the way we’re treated as retail workers is fucked. it’s that simple.

[valtsv]

not to be r*mantic on main but i deserve to be able to climb onto the roof of an abandoned building and stargaze with someone i love at least once in my life

[valtsv]

the fact that lights don’t start flickering ominously and short-circuiting whenever i’m upset is maximally unsexy and not at all excellent if you ask me

[righteoussness-deactivated20210]

there is going to be a last time someone misgenders you

[budas-wagon-deactivated-deactiv]

when I smash their knees in with my bat

[fluffygif]

I love this little guy ❤️

Source: Tesla_1001

[realtransfacts]

Trans life, always growing (img source / Ko-fi)

[themlike]

16 year old afab me thinking the reason I hated my body so much was bc society’s strict beauty standards tied to self-worth had me fucked up VS the tiny voice in the back of my head dropping hints that I was dysphoric but not knowing what that was at the time: 

[destroymylife]

[fjordfolk]

i don’t expect to take any halfway decent pictures before… april, maybe, so here’s an old reject instead

[proudnb]

From my instagram @.proudestnb

[vpdvent-blog]

not at all a controversial opinion, but i’d like to point out that i’m a little bit garbage because I take what I can get. like, so the other day I was in a public bathroom and there was a pretty long line against the wall behind me while I was at the sink washing my hands. in the mirror, I kept seeing someone staring at me, clearly trying to figure out if I belong or not. I felt bad about this, but also like... like 19 people outta 20, for whatever reason, didn’t even give a shit they were in there with me? I dunno if they were all inebriated and this person was sober, I dunno if they were just making a point of being less rude but after leaving the bathroom, even though I still felt kinda weirded out, I was still like “wow, okay, that coulda gone worse and it didn’t”. but now I feel bad remembering this because something still sorta went wrong, in that someone in there was clearly very bothered by my presence and felt that I was outta place. so like... maybe i’m sorta trash for just sorta accepting it, if not celebrating it (not that facet of it, but like being comfortable with the other 19 facets)? I mean, I deserve better - we all deserve better, we deserve not to be questioned, even subliminally or “just” through body language, at all -, but I've just kinda given up. this is as good as it’s gonna get for me, y’know? so, to that one person, sorry I Marilyn Monroe-walked my gratuitous hips and ass in there and accidentally made eye-contact with you in the mirror in a way that let you see my hairless face, but this is just how i’m stuck right now. and i’m sorry  i’m stuck like this for right now, i’m not happy either, but here we are.

and, to the other 19 people: it coulda been worse - it coulda been so much worse -, but it wasn’t. so thank you.

[vpdvent-blog]

fucking up at a place you need to go to for the rest of the foreseeable future is probably the worst. like, I can embarrass myself in front of the clerk at CVS all I want because fuck it, if I tripped over my shoes or said the wrong thing that hardcore, there’s always walgreens or rite aid. but like... really no do-overs at places like work. the only other branch of one of my workplaces is in japan, I can’t just request a transfer to japan because I accidentally walked in on someone using the bathroom or something. and as for my other workplace, it’s the only one. i’m gonna have to keep fucking up, keep wanting to fade off the face of the planet, and keep showing up anyway.