I write Sometimes

It's a me! Wackopig! Here lies things I write

[starsforhours]

Being a writer is such a interesting experience, like you have these people who want to come alive and you look at them and go sure here's a bit of my soul

[starlightshadowsworld]

And then you crush them both

[wolves-willow]

ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

[jaesrri]

[zipstick]

[absentlyabbie]

[maxkirin]

So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

Want more writerly content? Follow maxkirin.tumblr.com!

[writing-prompt-s]

Assassins

“Below are selected prices that are paid to professional assassins by criminal organizations and drug cartels for a contract hit.

In Australia, the median price to hire a hit man is $13,610 (9,800 Euros), with the price going up to $83,000 (60,000 Euros) based on the task.

In Mexico, the cost for a low level assassin is $208 (150 Euros), and up to $20,832 (15,000 Euros) for a higher profile target like a police chief.

The prices paid in Argentina are between $3,749 (2,700 Euros) to $5,555 (4,000 Euros) per hit.

Government statistics in Spain state that 40 assassinations take place each year, with prices for the hit ranging between $27 (20 Euros) to $69,000 (50,000 Euros).”

So cheap! I always thought things like this would cost more than $1 million…

[writer-wannabe-needs-inspiration]

This is super useful to know!

[writing-prompt-s]

and not just for writing!!

[ladybugseatppl]

@katherine-rose

[katherine-rose]

HOLY FUCK

HOW MANY HOURS HAVE I WASTED TRYING TO FIND HEROIN PRICES ON THE INTERNET WHAT A GREAT DATABASE

[midnight-spectrum-again]

I needed this

[rheevalka]

Actually useful. Sometimes incognito isn’t enough.

[tommyparkerr]

and suddenly my life just became much easier

[galaxy-of-stories]

I’ve heard of this before but the GIFs made it better 

[thewhumpyprintingpress]

This is a friendly reminder to never, ever publish your book with a publishing company that charges you to publish with them. That is a vanity press, which makes money by preying on authors. They charge you for editing, formatting, cover art, and more. With most of these companies, you will never seen a cent of any royalties made from sale of your book. A legitimate publishing company only makes money when you make money, they will never charge you to publish with them. If a company approaches you and says "Hey, we'll publish your book, just pay us X amount of money," tell them to go fuck themself and block them.

[whumpy-words]

Remember, kids: money should only ever flow FROM your publisher TO you.

Here's a very well-maintained resource by the SFWA (Science-Fiction & Fantasy Writers Association) that lists contests/editors/small presses/etc. with predatory behaviours:

WRITER BEWARE® - SFWA

About Us Mission Who we are, what we do, and why. Includes information on how to contact us. Overview and Site Map What you’ll find on the W

Go forth and publish safely!

[daedricprincessorigin]

@selenite0 has a full presentation about shady publishing contracts, this might be something to add to that

[dduane]

This.

[neil-gaiman]

It's been a little while since I pointed this out.

[wackopig]

It's the day!

Tyeson is 7 years old now! Its crazy how time flies, to see how much I've changed since I first created this wacky unicorn character and how much my characters have changed as well.

This year's celebration is extra special because I commissioned @pinetreedan to make art of my grumpy boy and his friends, (mostly it was a project for school but reasons overlap)

First up is the heroine herself, Princess Evalynn, Knight of the Realm of Kopano. Tyeson's best friend.

Next is Prince Ernest, Evalynn's younger twin. A scholar of magic and lover of a certain unicorn's sister.

Next is His Highness, Oreldin Kazuhiko Suda III, Crown Prince of Mewhye. Tye's older adopted brother.

Next up is Sonja, the sweetest Unicorn ever, Tyeson's half-sister, the only Unicorn that treats his ability to turn into a human as a gift instead of a curse. In love with a certain golden haired prince

And last but not least is the man, the milf, the legend. The birthday boy himself. Tyeson Moonshifter. Royal steed, alchemist, avid reader, and my dearest son.

Thank you for reading! Go check out Dan's other art, they're amazing.

[writingmaz]

Writing Tips

Descriptions in Between Dialogue

✧

⤠ how characters interact with the environment

⇝ moving something, picking something up, looking somewhere

⤠ how the environment interacts with the characters

⇝ weather, other character’s actions or movements

⤠ gestures

⇝ facial expressions, body language

⤠ shifts in position

⇝ standing, sitting, leaning, shifting weight, crossing arms/legs

⤠ physical reactions

⇝ body temperature, fidgeting, heart rate, character quirks

⤠ environmental descriptions

⇝ descriptions using the five senses, setting, character’s appearances

⤠ internal dialogue

⇝ emotional reaction to what was said, reflection of past experiences, connections to other characters/settings/actions

➵ I want to reiterate… descriptions using the five senses ; when in doubt, think of the five senses your character is experiencing and pick what best moves the story forward

[wackopig-writes]

Can I please just write a story about a badass princess without a Moonshifter mucking it up?

[wackopig]

Random Thoughts of a Potato

Tyeson really took one look at this purple-skinned, Demon-child girl who can play the hell out of the spoons and keeps severed arms in her bag and said, "Yes, that's the one I'm going to fall in love with"

[wackopig-writes]

Hmm...I just had a sad thought. If something were to ever happen to Crinitus, I'd have a Castlevania situation on my hands. Tyeson may not be a vampire but he's as if not more powerful than Dracula, as well as being old enough to have little apathy left for humanity.

But unlike Alucard, Bellus would probably help his father destroy humanity. I think it would be Laetitia and Mitis that would team up to stop their father and brother from destroying the world.

Laetitia herself would be very destraught after inevitably killing them, as a pacifist and may die herself from grief, like from a broken heart or something.

Thus leaving Mitis all alone to mourn his family and restart the cycle, as the youngest Moonshifter is very much like his father, well how his father is before all the bad stuff happened.

I think in the fall out, Mitis will probably leave humanity itself behind and serve his family's Goddess, who Tyeson was once champion to and Mitis would retake the title of champion, living the rest of eternity lost to the world and under Her full thrall, and living the life that Tyeson fought so hard to keep his children and brother from living.

[headspace-hotel]

The two seasons of a writer:

1. where have all the words gone? has all speech that has issued from the human tongue since the dawn of language deserted me now? must my keyboard lie mute forever, my pen silent?

2. whERE are aLL THES E W ORDs c Om I NG FROM

[wackopig-writes]

Me: Alright, Tyeson, time to write your plot. Do you have anything important to say?

Tyeson: When Crinitus comes home from her adventures, I help her out of her armour and kiss all her wounds better.

Me: Wow, that was disgustingly sweet. Anything else that doesn't involve your wife?

Tyeson: How about this new idea: I love my wife?

Me: ... She doesn't even go here

[clouiis-deactivated20200916]

what is a rival if not a crush ur mad about having

[wackopig]

Random thought I’ll elaborate after work:

The Untamed/MDZS ice skating/yuri on ice AU

[gusu-emilu]

this might get you started

[wackopig]

Hell yeah, that definitely helped! Thank you, new friend!

[wackopig]

Alright, time for the random thoughts of a potato.

(I apologize in advance if I misspell names or use wrong names for people, I’m tragically white so I’m still learning how the different names work.) 

I apologize if this is really long, I’ve had a lot of thoughts about this. Please feel free to use this au however you wish and change details to suit your needs. I only ask you tag me or send a link to whatever you do so I may read/consume whatever you make. 

So this is a modern au, with the sects being ice skating or hockey teams. 

YunmengJiang is an figure skating team coached by both Jiang FengMian and Yu ZiYuan.

 GusuLan is a figure skating team coached by Lan QiRen. 

LanlingJin is also a skating team coached by Jin GuangShan. 

QingheNie and Wen are hockey teams. 

Side note: Nie Huaisang is a figure skater with the GusuLan team, Nie MingJue got him a spot on the team through Lan Xichen because they are still sworn brothers with each other and Jin GuangYao . 

The teams are a bit shakey on how they work because I honestly don’t know how irl figure skating teams work. (My brother’s best friends were on a hockey team so I understand a little bit more about that but not by much as I’ve never seen them play and usually avoid sports .) 

The main meat of this au that’s had me thinking about all day during work is this: 

Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan have competed against each other since they both started competing in the senior level when they were 15. Every competition they’ve been on the pedestal together, switching off with who gets gold and silver with either Jiang Cheng or Jin Zuzian with bronze. One rare occasion, Nie Huaisang won bronze. Either way, Wei Wuxian and Lan Huangjin have always been at the top. 

After years and years of competing against each other, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying become good friends, often seen practicing together before competitions. When they’re 18, there were rumors with the other skaters about them choreographing a free skate or an exhibition skate  to a song they wrote together (Wangxian). But before they could have a chance to perform it, Wei Ying suddenly quits skating and disappears, leaving his skates in Lan Zhan’s locker. 

Lan Zhan confronts Jiang Cheng about Wei Ying’s location, Jiang Cheng angrily explaining that Wei Wuxian left their home in the middle of the night after a nasty fight with Yu ZiYuan and didn’t tell him or Yanli where he went, leaving his . 

Heartbroken, Lan Zhan continues skating, now standing solo at the top of the competition, now with Jiang Cheng and Jin ZuXuan getting silver and bronze, but neither comes close to Lan Zhan’s skill or Wei Ying’s expressive talent. 

Thirteen years pass like this, Wei Ying still off the grid and Lan Zhan skating on his own. Then one day Nie Huaisang sends Lan Zhan a link to a video posted by a small youtube channel run by a family run ice rink in Yiling and Lan Zhan drops everything to travel there. The video is Wei Ying skating his part of Wangxian. 

For the thirteen years, Wei Ying has been living in Yiling with Wen Ning and Wen Qing, helping them run their small family ice rink and hot spring, all while helping raise A-Yuan/Sizhui. When Lan Zhan shows up, the 15 year old Sizhui is practicing skating, Wei Ying is coaching him (rather poorly, Lan Zhan notes). Wei Ying is obviously surprised to see him and invites him to stay at the Wen’s hot spring, and the two drink and catch up, Wei Ying does all the drinking. 

They have a conversation about why Wei Ying left and Lan Zhan begs for him to come back with (to Gusu) with him. Wei Ying almost accepts but declines, saying that he has to stay in Yiling to coach and take care of Sizhui, Lan Zhan offers to coach him instead,ending his skating career if it means that Wei Ying would come back with him. 

I guess it’s up to you, dear reader, what happens next. 

[wackopig-writes]

Tyeson: *Is in physical pain whenever he sees the color purple because his eyes are weird*

Crinitus: *A purple Tiefling. Exists in Tyeson's vicinity*

Tyeson: I have never before seen such beauty! My heart is a flutter!

Dakotah: *Stares at his brother in concern as he sips his seventh cup of coffee* Sounds like a heart attack, my dude.

Tyeson: Nay, it is love! *proceeds to marry Crin and have two kids with her*