ID: a flag with a red diamond in the center, two outer purple lines and a purplish black background. End ID
Adexsexual: an individual who does not experience sexual attraction towards real or specific individuals and typically do not desire to engage in any partnered sexual activities in real life, but does experience arousal and/or sexual desire in response to sexual fantasies and/or sexual content, but only when one is not focusing on any other specific individuals. Focus is instead on oneself and the imagined sensations of the sexual act. The presence of real individuals in general or overly specific individuals in the imagination disrupts the imagination, resulting in a loss of sexual desire/arousal unless one dissociates and somehow manages to ignore the presence of the real individual.
Adexsexuality may be similar to aegosexuality as both revolve around being able to enjoy and get aroused by the idea of sexual activity in theory but not in reality. However for aegosexual individuals this is due to the disconnect between their sexuality and their self, and they usually get turned off by the thought of themselves in a sexual situation, whereas for adexsexual individuals this is due to the disconnect between their sexuality and others, and they usually get turned off by the thought of other specific individuals in sexual situations. Adexsexuality is a self-centric other-suppressed counterpart to the self-suppressed other-centric aegosexuality.
Common adexsexual experiences include:
Enjoying sexual content, masturbating, or fantasizing about sex, but being indifferent towards or repulsed by the idea of being in a real-life sexual relationship.
Finding sexual content arousing and enjoyable, but:
only when not focusing on any whole person in it too much.
not experiencing urges to actually have sex with any individual in it but experiencing desire to feel the sensations and intensity present in the content.
not being able to experience sexual desire or arousal while witnessing sexual content if one has witnessed anyone in that content in real life or outside of that content.
Fantasizing about sex, but:
it involves generic, faceless individuals, not specific individuals.
only imagining oneself, and no other individuals.
it is idealized and unrealistic. Adding realistic elements to the fantasy makes the idea of sex less appealing or even repulsive.
Having high desire for experiencing the physical sensations from sexual acts, but:
finding no one to be sexually attractive i.e. no one causes any directed urges to have sex with them specifically even if some individuals may cause one to be physically aroused.
if actually trying to experience those sensations, the presence of real individuals disrupts that sexual desire and the motivation to have sex drops down to zero or even becomes negative even if the body is physically still aroused.
if actually trying to experience those sensations, one finds out that although one has desire for sex in general as something that seems to be amazing and pleasurable in one's head, reality never lives up to it, and it feels like nothing mentally.
Finding someone arousing but only in the concept of them that is only tangential to their reality, still not having urges to have sex with them specifically but having high desire for disembodied sexual acts when imagining them happening to one in relation to that individual, focusing too much on who the individual really is makes the desire disappear or weaken.
Being aroused by parts of someone's body without experiencing sexual attraction towards that individual and letting imagination wander, causing one to experience sexual desire in general but once refocusing on that person as a whole one loses the sexual desire again. If talking to the person, maintaining sexual desire is almost impossible without dissociation.
Choosing to engage in sex for purely pleasure-related purposes in case of sex-favorability is still mentally difficult due to no real motivation and is nothing compared to what one imagined and feels like hard work even if one is easily physically aroused by one’s sexual partner.
Being confused if one is aegosexual, cupiosexual, cogitarisexual, aremsexual or lithosexual.
Adexsexuals may experience the loss of sexual desire without simultaneous loss of sexual arousal. The loss of sexual arousal may be delayed. Adexsexuals do not experience true sexual attraction, but instead something that can be described as phantom partial sexual attraction or an “arousability”, and may thus fall under the black stripe asexual umbrella. Adexsexuals can have different levels of libido, sex-related-addictions or sex-favorability.
Adexsexuality has previously been described as being “internally allo but ace externally” and “someone who has many elements of sexuality except sexual attraction”. It has also been described as having and “asexual-like experience when around others and being able to feel allosexual-like when alone”. This in no longer the definition of adexsexuality and although one may have this experience and identify as adexsexual this experience might be closer to cogitarisexuality and/or dalekosexuality.
The term was coined by Reddit user throwaceornotaceblob on November 9th, 2021. Edited heavily on February 15th, 2022, to reflect the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and sexual arousal and specify the complete lack of sexual attraction and changing sexual desire.
Adexsexual flag too was created by Reddit user throwaceornotaceblob. The internal crimson rhombus represents internal sexual desire that dissipates the more external it gets. The outer purple boundaries represent the lack of sexual attraction. The dark rose remaining color represents phantom sexuality or partially specific sexual desire.
