Im Dying, Squirtle

They/Them || 24 || call me bowling the way I go for soup

[segamascott]

[roomhole]

[kaijuno]

[mousenemy]

give it up for another 70 years of goo

[really-shit]

The REAL Toy Story | Michael Wolf

Behind those toys are a whole new world of “fun”.

Brought to you by Really Shit.

[paramoregf]

did u guys hear abt that intern fired from that law firm bc she bit like 10 people. im kinda obsessed with her god i wish there was footage

[paramoregf]

need her url

[foggyeyes]

I object to the qualifier "faux-quirky." I think if she's biting people in the office, some authentic quirkiness has been earned.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[extrathicccarlwheezer]

the gif is even funnier

[kragehund-est]

the only thing stronger than the gastric distress i get from eating cherries is my love for eating cherries

[inwardhardar]

[kragehund-est]

what

[inwardhardar]

[kragehund-est]

thank you. im once again reminded why i love tumblr because where else could i get content like this

[yookay-times]

[duchessvongooseberg]

[loth-caatgirl]

[toskarin]

[winged-void]

[autism-thoughts]

The anti-vax and anti-science propaganda is very real - and also, frankly I think doctors and nurses would've had an easier time getting people not to fall for it if they spent less time treating people like fucking shit

[autism-thoughts]

This post is about a lot of things but it is especially about racism, medical abuse, and eugenics

[notdayle]

Me and my girlfriend did a lil photo shoot in our regalia back in December

[notdayle]

Oh we’re engaged now btw 💍

[grasslandscolorado]

We live in a system that makes money off of your misery and ambivalence. It relies on people thinking that they are inherently bad for the planet and that the world is ending so why change? Why try? --This is untrue! We belong here, on this one beautiful green earth and we have to work together to protect it. You have the power to do more than you know. You have a role to play in your ecosystem!

[raccoonmilf]

The notion that humans are an invasive species is an ecofascist belief. We evolved just like every other animal, we are meant to be here just like they are. This is our home and we have a duty to care for it and change the environment for the better!

Every single person has the power to make a meaningful impact on the planet. I had the most fireflies in my town this summer simply because I have a large area where the grass is never cut.

Please do not give up because you think the planet is too far gone and it’s hopeless. It isn’t. Please fight.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

top notch interaction I had with the ambulance crew after my accident a couple years back:

paramedic: hi, I'm Allan

me: you told me. and your colleague is Jim, and the man who found me is Peter. guess my short-term memory is okay

Allan: ..are you doing a cognitive function test on yourself

[dragon-in-a-fez]

Allan, two minutes later, putting a third blanket around me: okay, how's that feeling now

me: well my feet are still freezing but it's okay, I know you need to focus on getting my core temperature up first

Allan: how many times has this happened to you

[dragon-in-a-fez]

noteworthy that they literally had a mask on me hooked up to a tank pumping narcotics into my lungs through all this, and my body temperature was like 34°. I would have been doing well to just have both eyes pointed in the same direction

[supreme-leader-stoat]

"This is great. I'm going to get a good grade in post-accident cognition."

[boymounter]

my dad bought a cnc for making signs

[weirwoodsugar]

i love when fantasy novels are about 35 year olds…why is everyone in books 20 or 16 all the time

[weirwoodsugar]

(defensively) 35 is one of the most normal ages to be

[despazito]