trying to articulate something i seem to notice re: transphobia and its psychological roots and patterns. i think fundamentally transphobia shares patterns of fear, disgust and rejection with ableism and ageism in a way that doesn't necessarily always intersect with, say, homophobia. it is puzzling, isnt it, when a cis person finds out you're trans after the fact and is surprisingly cool with it, like they don't start misgendering you or anything, BUT they'll be horrendous or even just "normal" transphobic to another trans person - say, someone who just came out? and here obvious disclaimer i transitioned into a (white) man so massive stealth + social privilege compared to trans women, but i've seen it happen a lot and i've especially seen lots of trans people report such experiences all over the internet. and i've been noticing that it seems to take similar patterns as the weird behaviors people will pull when someone they know suddenly becomes visibly physically disabled vs if they've always known the disabled person as such. and it seems to share a kind of disgust with aging bodies too (devon price wrote a really insightful article about transphobia and fears related to medical transition being essentially the same as fear of aging). i think fundamentally the fear at play here is the reminder that flesh is mutable and constantly enduring the flow of time, and that we are our bodies, that we can change (purposefully or not, yet it seems somehow more viscerally upsetting for many people to consider we may change ourselves on purpose!). there is a fear of change at play here: being privy to the change itself (someone coming out as trans and beginning medical transition; someone suddenly experiencing a disabling accident or illness; someone's body aging dramatically (hair loss, menopause...). seeing the change in person, how it seemingly "came out of nowhere" (remember how no matter how many "signs" there were, people go "this came out of nowhere!" when a loved one comes out as trans, or gets diagnosed with a disability?). it's scary because it reminds people of the mutable nature of life and their own bodies, and i think we struggle with processing change in general especially related to others: we have fixed mental pictures of others and how the world works and having these visions challenged feels psychologically distressing. once sufficient time has passed, once the disabled person has fallen into a routine, once the trans person has reached some kind of stable identity, presentation and starts passing somewhat reliably, it's no longer a novelty and the mental pictures of their loved ones typically adjust. a "new normal" has been reached which placates their environment though of course it doesn't mean there won't be microaggressions or anything, but people seem to get used to it in a way
i think it also intersects with, say, homophobia and feminist practices (from abortion to not shaving) in the sense that transitioning, being openly gay and not letting patriarchy rule your life generate some shock and strife on a psychological level to the cishet (especially straight women!) people in one's life, partly because it involves imposing one's own agency on one's life. (see how both abortions and trans people transitioning are immediately framed as "pure selfishness"). of course this goes double for trans women but many scholars have written about transmisogyny so i wont get too deep into that right now. it's both about the shock and horror (for the average person) of seeing that what they considered to be a fixed, reliable reality involving unavoidable sacrifice be put into question, i think...
in any case people usually get used to it but it doesn't mean they'll necessarily become less homophobic or transphobic or ableist or anything. or not consciously at the very least. which also means that i dont think we'll get anywhere if we don't start working on these psychological reactions to change and being reminded of the passage of time and the fragility and mutability of organic life....
