it feels pretty obvious to me that tarlos are still in a good place. they’re meeting up for lunch and talking about their nephew’s birthday party and trying to plan a hang with their fiends. that’s not the behavior of someone who is gone every night and distant. we saw one night where Carlos did stay late, but I believe they definitely still have nights where they’re both home. they eat dinner together and cuddle on the couch and have sex and meet with their friends. it’s just not every night. I don’t think they’ve had a shell of a relationship since the wedding
"not trying to speak over your experience" yeah except you are anon! I am sorry but I'm not going to be nice or coddle feelings here, be it good intentions or otherwise. And I'm going to mainly speak within a broader context here about the use of this very language in general even though you brought it up in the isolated context of analysing a character.
Long answer :
So when you try to make the reaction to injustice (of any kind, whether by a system, entity, or otherwise) look neat and collected and can be "talked out" in a nice therapy clinic you pay so much money for, you're directly framing this injustice and aggression as not grave or urgent enough and most importantly something you can't physically fight back. There is nothing neat and collected about murder and sudden ugly loss so why do you want to pacify rage and tone down the impact of assault and the right to a righteous revenge and seeking justice??!
Also we haven't even watched the season yet to be here!!
And please stop viewing carlos as this complex crazy man who needs to be fixed and treated like a baby. he's very normal with very normal human experiences I promise. AND HELLO???? THIS CHARACTER IS A COP IN A PROCEDURAL DRAMA!! He deals with crimes for a living!!!!!!
hell, anon, I don't wanna even talk about Carlos, but about the fact that people like you speak stuff like that into the world we live in very often and very confidently and you normalize this industrialised colonial version of "healing" when there is more to the matter than just "feeling good and collected as fast as possible because you're not supposed to struggle ever!!"
This policing language is used on us, people of the global south, in real life, all the time. Do you know how many times I was told exactly this in the past year?!?! It's the same language that currently insists on framing fighting against Genocide and a satanic empire as "peaceful" : "peaceful protests", "peaceful talks", as if there is anything peaceful about mass extermination with mass destruction weapons and the bodies of our families incinerated and shredded into pieces and scattered under tons of rubble. It's the same language that tells victims of colonial violence to forgive and forget and soften, compromise on their dead bodies and stolen houses and coexist with their rapists and murderers instead. This is the same logic used that give oppressors and criminals impunity while simultaneously vilify and question those who go after their abusers.
Please understand why you need to stop using this language of calling injustice just "trauma" and leaving behind your dignity and right to an honorable righteous path of justice "healing", because forgetting about things is easier in your opinion. This life doesn't operate like that. There are guidelines and moral systems we stand on.
So no. injustice does end when you stop it. How do you think entire nations manage to successfully liberate themselves then
I feel like I'm crazy and I'm sorry anon but I'm not sorry for dragging this into the broader context because I'm angry and fed up of hearing this language of toning down people's reaction to crime — a language that materialized into making the carnage of our people become mountains and mountains because it debilitates the urgency and emergency of stopping it through the hands of the Resistance we stand behind.
And let me point out something very important here. Dwelling in defeatism is not helpful! It spreads paralyzing panic and creates more obstacles. Those who give up to an assault and a crime without responding, resisting and acting accordingly have a broke moral compass. this is in my opinion what Owen meant when he warned him about obsession — or when there is nothing you could do about something anymore. Except that Carlos can do something about it! And especially now. It's literally his job. And he's good at it and he's capable. There is literally a murderer on the loose and that's not past, he's still here, currently taking advantage of impunity.
So back to character analysis : we're talking about Carlos Reyes here. that man is so strong and resilient and he's not that crazy person lost in darkness. from day one he was trying his best to be strategic and tactical and catch the killer and put him where he belongs. Yes his first attempt was clouded by staggering pain and vulnerability to calculate everything correctly but he was on the right path nevertheless, because he has a healthy and normal moral compass. That man did not dwell in defeatism or chose to fuck everything up — I mean he listened and responded to the warning when he was about to do that. Carlos chose to carry on with the wedding and have it despite the shell shocking impact, that man didn't abandon his job, he pursued his career and his life, he worked on himself to be in a higher position and he is now resolved on solving that case, he's stronger now and he's employing his tools, his morals and his will to do the right thing just like he did with Iris (and because — again — it's literally his job). That man is more than normal, he's righteous and he loves deeply and honours that love and respect he holds for his people and his principles.
And he will struggle!!!!! Because none of this is easy to carry or balance. That's literally what this whole chapter is going to be about. And WE HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN IT YET TO JUDGE WHAT'S COMING NEXT 😭😭 Also we have TK!! TK is another example of being a Resilient Fighter. We really start the story of lone star with him fighting against odds and holding onto his strengths until he ended up where he is now (and Owen tells him that during the rehearsal dinner). Him and Carlos can handle whatever they're going to go through I promise. They both are capable, strong and smart. They both know what is it like to grieve and what is it like to be a first responder. And they do provide each other with the kind of support the other needs.
And whether carlos is going to get answers or not, whether he will be able to bring about this justice and solve the case or will find himself putting himself and his family in danger beyond his capacity to control. Whether he'll find himself becoming more distant from the life he build and the person he chose and on top in a predicament of adopting a child and being responsible for that. Him choosing that path from the beginning was right. And it naturally comes with heavy consequences just like the weight of being subjugated to the crime itself. And because that's the price of being a first responder and in law enforcement in the first place!
Also something else about the "should see a therapist" part. therapy could be helpful and it offers support and guidance and Carlos might want to go to these grief counselling sessions if he feels comfortable to do so especially because he's a first responder after all and his work life makes him witness more than just Gabriel’s case but therapy in general shouldn't be treated as the default of healing or support simply because it's not. It's a tool and it's an expensive tool. But again we're judging prematurely what a character would or wouldn't do so that's sort of in vain anyway.
our experiences shape us into who we are anyway, they give us our weak spots and they crystallize our strengths and good qualities more. that's simply how humans work and Carlos is no different, he doesn't have to change his emotional self-defense mechanism of not being emotionally vulnerable all the time and the way he operates and carries himself in order to be "okay". and he already found what he needed with TK. Who impacted him in every way and best way possible. And he does tell him that himself in 4x02 and during their vows.
When BoJack Horseman (2014-2020) said "you can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it ok. you need to be better" and "all we have are the connections we make" and "I really should've thought about the view from halfway down" and "sometimes you have to take responsibility for your own happiness" and "you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, you turn yourself around, THAT'S what it's all about" and "things have to get worse before they can get better" and "in real life, the big gesture isn't enough, you need to be consistent" and "if we hadn't met each other until now, we wouldn't be the people we are now" and, my personal favourite, "every day it gets a little easier, but you gotta do it every day, that's the hard part, but it does get easier".
as more westerners realize it's wrong to stay silent about genocide, I see more and more posts from western "progressive" Christians to the effect of "we should support Palestine because there are Palestinian Christians." I can't believe I even have to point out how profoundly Islamophobic and self-centered that attitude is. I understand you might feel it's the only way you can reach a right wing Christian audience, but right wing Christians are not going to view Palestinians as human regardless of their faith. I understand you might feel that your Christianity-focused blog should make Christianity-focused posts, but as Christians we all need to make interfaith solidarity a priority. and above all, we need to follow the example set by Palestinians when we fight for justice in Palestine. Palestinians view themselves as one united people regardless of faith, and so should we. personally this is my model for what love of neighbor looks like:
[ID: jack’s speech to sam in 13x01 over screenshots of supernatural / “I don’t…I have to find my father” as jack realizing that cas is MIA in spn 15x18 / “He’ll protect me” as cas shields jack from dean in spn 14x20 / sam saying “jack, you gotta listen to me. that’s not really something lucifer does” as lucifer attacks jack in spn 13x23 / “lucifer? no that’s not his name” as jack is excited to be visited by castiel in his dream in spn 13x14 / “my father is castiel” as cas and jack are reunited in spn 15x11 / “my mother, she said castiel would keep me safe” after cas makes the deal to save jack in spn 14x08 / “she said the world was a dangerous place” as jack looks at the remnants of the exploded church in spn 13x20 / “that’s why I couldn’t be a baby or a child” as jack saves his family from au!michael in spn 14x14 / “that’s why I had to grow up fast” after jack dies to spn 14x20 / “that’s why I chose him to be my father” as cas tells jack he’s proud of him in spn 14x02 / “where is he?” as jack asks where’s cas in spn 15x19 / end ID]
spn season 1 said we are going to give the smart and sensitive one a simmering rage just below the surface and we are going to imbed the tough devil-may-care one with a quiet reserve of vulnerablity. this will give disorders to no 14 year olds
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