If I wasn't crazy you wouldn't be my friend @wereallmisfts - Tumblr Blog

calvinandhobbescomic

justadreaminghufflepuff

This comic is genuinely how I remember which is which.

ruinedchildhood

gayasscommie-deactivated2017090

bedupolker

Opposable thumbs are handy

systlin

My asshole son (Muffin the cat) has been on a diet, on account of him being overweight. I've been losing my fuck damned mind because he is not losing weight, even when sticking to the vet reccomended diet.

Found out that the dickhead (affectionate) has figured out that the food is in the utility room cupboard. He has figured out how to hook his claws into the door, pry it open, and get into the fucking cupboard at night, where he then shoves his head in the bag and eats as much as he wants.

He then exits and closes the fucking cupboard like the genius little goddamn prick he is.

systlin

Update; my fluffy 25 pound dickhead of a Maine coon mix Disapproves Strongly of the child locks on the food door. Loudly. Is now attempting to figure out how to work a child lock with his enormous crime paws.

sadgi

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

sadgi

thank you wikipedia for this really good image

sadgi

a helpful mnemonic for everyone

talkwithtatsu

too good for tags

assiraphales

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

hppjmxrgosg

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

dragon-in-a-fez

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"