dream big, toucan sam

whichever pronoun is comedically appropriate

[kilncreatures]

forest dogy

[movedclonekisser-deactivated202]

These posts are all sisters to me

[tortellinigirl]

men really be like “well this woman has studied this subject her whole life, and i am a man, so we have equal knowledge on this”

[hcrzallerliebst-a-deactivated20]

it’s ok you could have just said “i hate men”

[tortellinigirl]

okay, i hate men

[northirish]

Vote for me and I will make werewolves real

[northirish]

Top scientists wil work hard round the clock to make it a reality

[northirish]

Bottom scientists as well

[obfuscatingintelligence]

if you set off a rube goldberg type death trap to kill someone, if it's a long enough machine, it ceases to become your fault if somebody dies at the end. that's how I've gotten away with it all these years, and why I'm still going to heaven.

[viviantimmet]

(via @yellowocaballero)

[theafictionado]

There are characters you like but then there are characters you end up thinking about in the middle of the night with a cosmic ache in your chest because they resonate with you so much

[whyenn-reader]

firm believer you can't be a ''good person''. too much niuance to life.

[whyenn-reader]

you can be good (adjective) but you cannot be good (identity)

[whyenn-reader]

if you think you are good (identity) you are more likely to cause harm as you don't consider yourself to be capable of it

[movedclonekisser-deactivated202]

there is no platonic explanation for this. there's no romantic explanation either. frankly they just don't like eachother at all

[movedclonekisser-deactivated202]

there's a sexual explanation though

[1eos]

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[sludgebitch]

YOU STUPID FUCKING DICKHEAD!!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE THROUGH THE x10 GATE NOT THE x2!!!! YOU WON'T HAVE ENOUGH MEN!!! IT'S ALL FUCKED!!!!!!!!

[prokopetz]

It's always fun when an author claims their work contains no politics, because either they're blatantly lying, or they genuinely think they're telling the truth and you get a lot of insight into what assertions about human nature they regard as so obviously and self-evidently true as to lie outside the political sphere.

[urie]

americans are sooo desensitized to guns and sometimes it manifests in ways that affect your media literacy. like remember in the first episode of sherlock when john watson opens up his drawer and you see a gun in there and youre supposed to understand that this is narratively significant and conveys his suicidality as well as his willingness to skirt rules and laws but the first time i watched it i was like oh well theres his desk gun. lots of people have those

[machinot]

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

[mynowherenothing]

wait im goated

[clonetrobed]

- A luxury you can’t live without? - A luxury I can’t live without? Coffee. I really like good coffee. - That’s not a luxury, you can get it anywhere. - …I like nice socks?

[aesopquarriman]

[id: gifs of larry king interviewing danny pudi. larry says, “that’s not a luxury, though. coffee and socks are not a luxury. danny says, “alright, give me a luxury. which - … what luxury should i have?“larry says, “a private plane.” danny says, a bit incredulously, “…. larry, i’m on ducktales.” end id]

[hearthburn]

Bear witness to the disconnect between a Boomer’s idea of luxury and a Millennial’s.

[ekjohnston]

“Larry, I’m on DuckTales” is something I enjoy saying when I suddenly find perspective.

[melonwah]