rat bastard

tristan, 28, he/she. Wife’d. Icon by pepperjackets on picrew :o)

[contemptible-scoundrel]

Ccan i hit?

I would parry every blow?

[jenny-holzer]

[cowboyified]

[mumblesplash]

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

[mumblesplash]

so true there could be any number of undiscovered species down there all of which are none of my business and never will be. peace and love on (the surface of) planet earth 💕

[robinstome]

Jerry Seinfeld says that you could never do Seinfeld today but one time when I was really high I fell asleep and dreamed a new episode where Jerry came out of the closet as a trans woman and Elaine wanted to be supportive so she gifted Jerry a dress that she didn't really like but when Jerry wore the dress out she got tons of compliments and Elaine gets super pissed about it because she never got any compliments when she wore it but couldn't say anything because she didn't want anyone to call her a fake ally.

[whenimgod]

Something I love about the Sinners movie is it reminded me that some of the best stories are "one night" stories. There have been so many long con world ending save the universe humanity at stake the villain is the government stories for a while that I lost sight of one of my favorite stories- where some fuck shit goes down for One Day maybe One Week with a small crew of people Inextricably Familiar with each other and the end is like "ay that shit was crazy"

Thanks for the reminder Ryan Coogler

[roswellsoup]

bonus/proof:

we tipped her well dw. best waitress ever 🍒

[innerchildabortionclinic]

PARENT: I got "rubber duck" for my child's "bath" and she loves it.

AUTISM RESPONSE: Rubber ducks and other rubber bath toys can accumulate mold on the inside because of small holes underneath where moisture becomes trapped. The mold often goes unnoticed because it's not visible from the outside.

CORRECT RESPONSE(?): That's nice, I am unaware of how mold could impact this situation.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

Customer: Forgot to put my orange juice on the conveyer belt.

PENDING RESPONSE: That particular brand is currently being sued for sanitation issues in its factory the next town over

IMPORTANT NOTIFICATION⚠️: A grocery store cashier is supposed to successfully sell items to "customer"

[chharliedayarchive]

The year is 2020. Cole Sprouse is getting married. The bride, when she is supposed to say ‘I do,’ instead says ‘IT WAS JUST A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT, HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?’ and storms off. It is the fifth time this has happened. Such is life for Cole Sprouse.

[bernard-jackson]

[onion-souls]

Sorry, Millennials, but recent paleontologist findings and hyolaryngeal apparatus reconstructions no longer support the hypothesis that "rawr" means "I love you" in dinosaur.

[onion-souls]

I made you a bibliography but I eated it :(

[yeahisawitlikethreeweeksago]

[thedandeliongarden]

Damm, it really shows how consoles are just proprietary restricted PCs these days

[lesly-oh]

Camilla and Coronabeth 😳✨ 

[wordfather]

not my circus not my monkeys but thanks to my mutuals i know some of the lore

[enkephalinpilled]

in order to preserve my internet privacy i’ll have to start feeding everyone misinformation about myself. i don’t eat. i don’t sleep. i don’t breathe. i don’t blink. i don’t have “blood”

[kyotospartyart]

It's the twins!!!

Soon you'll be able to steal their looks because their t-shirts will be available at my store!

[kyotospartyart]

Cam and Pal exploring the city.