Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane
“And if you’ll give me 40% of the MOST POPULAR VOTE, I’ll give you my SPECIAL REWARD... A year’s supply of NON-GLOOBY SLIME!!! Never or BARELY used!!!” Tenna concluded his speech with a huge smile, jetting his hands up in double peace signs.
The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.
Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.
He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.
“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”
The crowd murmured with embarrassment.
“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.
“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.
“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”
Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”
--
Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.
“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”
Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.
“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”
THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.
“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.
Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.
“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”
Laios and Marcille held their breath.
“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”
Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.
Everyone turned to him.
Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.
“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.
“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.
--
Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, some guy was making out with a rock.
transitioning is like putting on the They Live glasses and seeing that 90% of people looking at you are either jerking off or furiously sharpening a knife. or both. and i do not mean that in a sexy or fun way, and i dont like clarifying that, but i know there's a 90% chance you are thinking it, because i wrote it while being a trans woman.
when considering the sexual violence against trans women, it's important to remember that "people only view us sexually" does not mean the same thing as "people only find us attractive". it means "people can only conceptualize of our existence within a sexual light" because that's how the majority of our coverage in media has been tinged in the past century. as a result of the chaste and patriarchal nature of modern capitalism, gender and sexuality are inseparable in much public discourse by virtue of propaganda, and as a result, a trans woman is seen as sexual because efforts towards projecting specifically femininity is only categorized as sexual. and when paired with the uncharitable perception of "man", that propaganda can often evolve how people view us directly into "sexual threat" anywhere, for any reason. i could be in the freezer aisle of costco looking down at the ground while i push my cart and i'd still get dirty looks for wearing a dress (this has happened).
when i say "they're either jerking off or sharpening a knife", i mean we're either viewed sexually, or as sexually threatening, in almost all scenarios.
[NOTE: AS WITH ALL MATTERS OF TRANSMISOGYNY, THIS ISSUE IS 100 TIMES WORSE FOR BLACK GIRLS]
by the way. it never is too late to decide you want to be happy. the woman who helped me get hormones didnt start hers until she was 70, and i met her at 73, beautiful and smiling - and told me that the last three years of her life had been her favorite. your favorites might be ahead of you too. why not hang around and find out?
divinity kink in less of a "fuck me in a nun habit" way and more of a "put me on my knees and rewrite my understanding of faith and show me what a loving god's hand feels like and give me mercy and wrath and splendor and leave your communion dripping from my lips and teach me how every part of my body was meant to worship you"
fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"
unfortunately very true. Doing Better does not always mean never being upset or never being triggered or never having trouble. often Doing Better means experiencing those things and being able to keep going/cope healthily/move on. if you’re in a bubble with no sensation, if you’re numbing yourself out, that’s not what recovering really is. it won’t help you have a happier life it’ll just make your world smaller and smaller until you can’t fit anywhere anymore. gotta learn to make peace with the hard stuff too, that’s the only way to keep going
people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour
many people ask 'how do i know my art is good enough to start a comic'. this is a very common mistake. you do not make a comic to make good art you make comics because its fun and looked yummy
on setting up audience expectations, and either satisfying or defying them
i told myself i wouldn't write an essay about tadc, because i should have got my fill of trying to argue with people on bluesky whose critical analysis starts and ends with 'the creator said so'. but i unfortunately do feel very strongly about storycraft, so i'm going to write an essay anyway, focusing mainly on one scene from the finale and how it creates an expectation it does not satisfy, nor meaningfully subvert.
i'm going to be discussing how tone, visuals, and familiar tropes work together to create an emotional expectation, and what could have been done differently to support what is the supposed intended read. while the essay is going to be taking the stance that this scene failed in what it was trying to do, my intent is not to diminish readings that it succeeded. if anything i'm only using tadc and the scene as an example to talk about the greater concepts of narrative catharsis. i'm not here to convince anybody how to feel about the work itself, just make a point. it's educational. i like talking about writing and visuals. it's not a review and there's no moral stance being taken about what is good or bad.
okay?
and to be clear, i'm not going to be referencing or including anything the creator has said, because i've not read any of it, i'm not going to, and i don't need to. 'the creator said so' is a rhetorical dead end that stops discussion in favor of a solid single answer. i'm not interested in fandom discourse surrounding the creator. that's not what this is about. my reading is based entirely and exclusively on the text of the work itself and my interpretation of it.
okay?
okay.
and obviously this will contain spoilers for the final episode
we're going to talk about jax's final scene, 31:30 up through 36ish, conveniently timestamped. for those of you that don't want to watch the whole six minutes again, i'm going to lay out the major beats. in pink, i'm going to point at the musical cues, visuals, and dialogue that i want you to pay attention to.
pomni confronts jax in the center of his psyche after reaching into his abstracted mind to find him. he pleads for her to leave, claiming nobody is supposed to care about him, or love him, and that she's making it harder by being there. gentle, insistent string music sweeps to a crescendo as pomni approaches.
pomni embraces him. jax claims it's too late, that there's no coming back from abstraction. pomni entreats him to talk to her, and he turns and kneels to hug her. the music remains soft, gentle, and sweet.
jax says he doesn't want to go, and starts breathing heavily. pomni tells him to stay with her. he begins glowing bright white.
we cut to a montage of jax scenes, set to a cover of stevie wonder's Isn't She Lovely, a song about the birth of his beautiful baby girl.
pomni keeps holding on to the glowing white body of jax as the music continues, ending on the lyrics isn't she lovely, made of love. the screen goes entirely white.
zooble and the others pull pomni out of the glowing white body of jax. they lean over her and say "you weren't going to try and take care of him all by yourself, were you?" and "i'm glad we weren't too late" and "like you guys keep saying, we're all in this together."
the song continues without the lyrics as they put jax in a pillow fort tent.
those are the basic facts of the scene and the musical cues. yes, there are more details, but these are still The Basic Beats between pomni finding jax, and the end of the scene. two characters emotionally embrace, the music swells with hope, one of them starts glowing white, the most joyful, loving song of all time starts playing, and the whole cast shows up, eager to help, happy they weren't too late, reminding us that they're all in this together.
how is the scene setting your expectation for what comes next? what sort of feelings do the music choices lead you to? where have you seen similar scenes play out, and how did they end? the music is hopeful and positive. the characters smile tearfully, and speak words of encouragement. the character in crisis glows white when embraced by a friend who refuses to give up. obviously the answers to my questions are subjective, maybe you hear isn't she lovely kick in and you come to the immediate conclusion jax is dead forever and get sad. but the answer i'm trying to lead you to, and that i would argue all of these elements combined are leading you to, is a positive resolution. you're led to believe something good will happen to jax. that the power of love will overcome the abstraction, and jax will come back from the brink knowing that he--or she, as the case may be--is loved. isn't she lovely, made of love?
but that's not what happens. we leave this scene and move to a montage of building a pillow fort tent, into which the abstracted jax is dragged like an animal and left. nobody joins pomni in her attempt to pull jax out of abstraction, seemingly all they're glad to have done is not lost pomni in an explosion: "i'm glad we weren't too late." but they were too late--for jax. the character we've spent the past two episodes and thirty minutes examining under a microscope, the character who was in crisis, the character who needed help, and never ultimately got it until it was, factually, too late. the world state of "jax is abstracted" did not change. we, and pomni, understand him better for having insight into his mind. but no change occurred. if you're standing outside of all this, pomni went into a room, turned off the lights, and then was pulled away from an abstraction that glowed white and then...never stopped being an abstraction. nothing has changed. there is no positive resolution beyond "nobody else got hurt worse".
this is tragic. it is a tragedy! and i do sincerely believe it's meant to be tragic. but everything outside of the literal facts of the scene, the music, the tone, the way the characters talk, directly contradicts that. it is not presented as a tragedy. an instrumental of isn't she lovely continues playing as they build the tent and put jax away, but it's an entirely straightforward cover, still upbeat, still positively coded. there's no contrast between the use of the song and the way the scene is presented that would make it "bittersweet", nothing in the way it's shot tells me this is sad. the situation is only logically sad--if i feel sad, it's because i know i'm supposed to. i'm not being made sad.
and that's where the issue is. if the scene is supposed to be sad, if it's not supposed to make you think 'the power of love and friendship can save you', then it's not using the tools at its disposal effectively. it can still make you sad, but is it doing it the best way that it could? everyone's familiar with the old sarah machlachlan ASPCA commercials. images of sad cats and dogs in shelters, while she mournfully sings in the arms of the angels, to make you think about the fact that many of these animals will be put down without finding a home. the imagery and the music cues are working together to make you feel sad. now go mute that commercial and play grover washington jr's just the two of us overtop it. how does that combination make you feel? maybe it evokes hope, maybe it makes you want to adopt a pet. just the two of us, we can make it if we try. adopt a dog, you can make it if you try! it's a far cry from sarah's plea.
obviously this is a commercial, it's trying to sell you on an idea (however noble an idea it is), but that's not really any different from a story. the story is trying to sell you on the idea it wants to convey, and how it wants you to feel, and it's using music, visuals, and dialogue to achieve that. by the way, if you intend to respond to this essay in a reblog to argue with me, turn one word blue, otherwise i'll know you didn't read it closely all the way through and just wanted to fight. anyway if the scene is meant to make us go "oh my god i thought it was going to work out but it didn't" then it needs to convince us it believes it didn't work out. because as it is, it presents putting jax in the pillow fort forever as the positive resolution, because that's what the music is telling us.
so what do we do about this, if we want to ensure the audience comes to the "correct" conclusion? number one is, of course, the music. isn't she lovely is a great pick if you want to lead us to a trans girl jax ending, but if it's supposed to be tragic... you have to change the tone. you have to make it sad. jax doesn't get to live as a girl, make me sad about it! bring down the tempo, change the key. if it's meant to be mournful, it has to sound like it. and the music surrounding it, the music in the void as pomni and jax embrace--that too should not be so hopeful. bring in the cello, bring in the piano, take out the steven universe plinky synths. we know what sad music sounds like. make it sound sad! or at least contrast it with the visuals. if you want to use an upbeat song for dramatic irony, that's fine, but irony requires going against expectations. i expect an upbeat song to be accompanied by happy hopeful visuals. make pomni scream and reach for jax and be held back while the song plays, make her suffer. make it contrast.
then there's the visuals. the glowing white light. embracing somebody who's glowing white can be considered neutral, but, in tandem with the music, it leads to a reading of a coming transformation, a rebirth. something new is going to come out of that white light. rewatching the scene, i guess it's supposed to be a literal explosion triggered by the abstraction creature stepping on the grenade, but like... c'mon? c'mon. it's not ABOUT the grenade. it's about jax falling apart and losing himself fully and pomni trying to hold on.
and if that's what it's supposed to be, make his model start going abstract when he enters his panic attack. make it absolutely clear that we're losing this last piece of jax and can't get it back. turn the model black, make it warble, make it grow the eyes. the fact that we don't see jax abstract on screen originally, that it's just something that happened elsewhere, is another problem i have with the finale, but is not the point of this post. if the story doesn't want to show it the first time, that's fine! but if it wants this to be the moment when jax goes to the point of no return, it should make sure we know that's what's happening. a glowing white light is hopeful. a growing black shape is not.
and finally, the dialogue/the way the characters behave. i am not convinced by jax saying "there's no coming back from this" because i'm not convinced he knows that. of course he would say that! of course he would believe it! but that line is a band-aid over the problem of WE don't actually know that. we've never seen it tried. we don't KNOW that all of your friends coming together and genuinely caring about you isn't enough to bring you back. much like we don't KNOW exactly what causes it or makes it so irreversible, because we don't see it happen. i'm absolutely on board for abstraction being a metaphor for this or that, but because it is still a literal event in a world that isn't built exclusively on metaphor, we still need literal information about it and its rules. this is a problem with science fiction. you can do plenty with metaphor and analogy in the genre, but you can't metaphor the hard facts that make up the world. those of you who've been here long enough know how much chobits makes me insane because it acts like the reset button being in her pussy is happenstance in service of a metaphor for sex changing you and not a choice her freak roboticist father had to make in the lab when he built her. some things you do have to address.
anyway. i'm getting off track. if the story wants me to think jax really can't come back, i need to know that's impossible in order to be sad about it. and if i don't get to know that until this exact moment in the story (which is fine!) then i need to know it through failure. if everyone is going to walk up like thank god we're all here! we're not gonna let you try alone! i... need the group to actually try, and i need them to fail. otherwise, everything else being exactly as it is, hopeful music and all, i'm led to believe friendship could've save the day--if they'd just tried. but for some reason, they don't try. they just put jax in the tent and i'm left questioning why nobody else tried to hug him better. the expectation that something could be done was set up, and then not followed through on, nor subverted. if they failed, that would have been a subversion, the narrative playing on my expectation that love conquers all in order to make it more impactful when it says 'no, it doesn't.'
that's what i think it wants to say, anyway. that is the logical conclusion, based entirely on the events, and ignoring all the narrative devices surrounding them. but i'm unsatisfied by the logical conclusion. i don't want to have to examine cold facts when trying to deduce a story's conclusion. i want the catharsis of having my expectations raised, and then either met--which is still good storytelling--or subverted. a story doing exactly what you think it's doing is not inherently bad, it means you heard what it was saying. i don't think tadc would be worse if pomni and the gang loved jax back from the brink and she was reborn into an avatar with a cute bow on her head and started making an effort to be better. and i don't think i'd be unsatisfied by a narrative that said no, you can't save everyone no matter how hard you love them, if it said it clearly and confidently.
it just doesn't successfully do that.
phew. did you make it all the way down here? do you understand what i'm trying to get at, even if you don't necessarily agree with it? i hope so. if you read all that and want to yell at me for saying the cartoon clown show could have been better, please consider: nobody would spend their sunday writing an essay about a cartoon clown show if they completely hated it. i must have liked it well enough. i just want it to be better. you should always want better from the work you take in, and for the work you make. tadc already exists and can't be changed, so this essay is ultimately for YOU 🫵 to think about your own work and how you can use the tools you have to elicit the feeling you want in your audience.
that's one of the reasons for critical analysis. if you can identify what doesn't work in somebody else's story, and can identify how it would improve, you will be better at identifying these things in your own work, and your work will be better.