[dasswerke]

How to Set Fence Posts That Won’t Rot.

[tropylium]

have a bunny kiss them for luck. got it

[purplehazeplaysoffasamsung]

the world is not scary plus im strong as hell

[papayajuan2019]

[ruffboi-mags]

based

[oneshortdamnfuse]

[ID: An article title from Pink News that reads “Ian McKellen calls asking for birth name ‘as irrelevant as asking for one’s birth weight’ and ‘as inappropriate as demanding details on past trauma’ /End ID]

[fatsexybitch]

Ian McKellen, an Intellectual: THEY WERE BORN A BABY, YOU FOOL

[pasta-is-magnificent]

[kingscrown666]

[anarchist-rat-swarm]

M-M-M-MULTIKILL!

[wessasaurusrex]

[guerrillatech]

.

[stinkyhat-deactivated20231213]

[buzzlightyearhugecock]

penis is a state of mind

[buffbuzzvapedaddy]

SO IS OHIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[buzzlightyearhugecock]

im going to bludgeon you to death

[brittlebonedmethhead]

[kurapicano-remaking-deactivated]

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read in a science book

[alastyearonearth]

show us the duck op

[kurapicano-remaking-deactivated]

the duck.

[alastyearonearth]

forbidden bath toy

[kyrstin]

literal bath bomb

[dankmemeuniversity]

[thetransmascbadass]

Falling in love, speed run

[scottsumrners]

every time someone talks about how “capitalism breeds innovation”, i think about the fact that capitalism killed the streaming service in less than ten years

[scottsumrners]

like…the entire point of netflix when it started was that you could log into one service and you could find thousands of different tv shows and movies in one place, for one price, AND you didn’t have to wait for several weeks to watch the conclusion of a tv show AND you didn’t have to worry about your favorite new show getting cancelled half-way through a season for lack of viewership.

and then every single other channel out there thought “hm. why are we using a third party site to do what WE could do ourselves?” except not a single one of them had enough material in their libraries to do what netflix was doing. but they still pulled all their content out of netflix anyway and tried to do what netflix was doing. and then disney decided to do it as well, which… essentially just killed netflix.

but not only did they kill netflix, they just restarted cable! the whole point of a streaming service was being able to watch one show in one go, over a weekend or something. but bc these services don’t have enough material to keep people invested on paying every month, they have… to…. release shows one episode at a time, so that by the time one show ends they can roll out a new one and keep the subscriptions. which just? defeats the point?

and now we’re all just. back to torrenting one episode at a time, because nobody is paying for “cable…but on the internet”. all because capitalism breeds innovation

[libraford]

Cute story from work.

So this couple walks in- a broad-shouldered man with an accent (Italian, I think) and a man that I can best describe as looking like Cecil Palmer. 

“Okay- weird question. So you guys did our wedding- amazing by the way. And it’s been a month and just about all the flowers in the vases have died by now except for this one thing that’s really holding on in there. And we want to know what that plant is and how to take care of it to keep it alive. And we don’t know how to like… describe it and it sounds kind of weird to go to up to a stranger and say ‘hey what’s this weird wiggly green plant you put in our vases a month ago?’ but I guess that’s what I’m asking.”

“Sounds like curly willow. If you keep it in water it will eventually start rooting and you can grow a new plant from it from the cutting.” 

“That is too cool! What do you suggest we do?”

“Well, you can keep it in the water for now, but eventually you’ll want to pot it in soil because that’s how it’s going to get its nutrients.”

“Can we,” the Italian guy asks. “Can we plant it in the floor?” I figure he means ‘plant it outside.’ 

I nod. “It’ll keep growing.”

“What does it look like when it’s bigger? Does it stay like a wiggly stick?”

“Oh, no, it’ll branch out. It’s actually a tree.” 

The skinnier one turns to his husband and says:

“Did you hear that, honey? They gave us a tree! We have a tree now!” 

Italian man: “It’s our tree. We love our tree.”

[thesituation]

literally

[hollowtones]

If you fold a pizza in half, is it a sandwich?

the language is not some inherent truth of life. we made the words as a lens to better understand the world.

[hollowtones]

no one in the comments has listened

[papasmoke]

i think if you folded a pizza in half it wouldn’t be very easy to eat and i would not eat it anyway actually because i am lactose intolerant. but if i did eat it i would unfold it first because the folded pizza would be too tall to fit in my mouth unless i squished. also if i shoot a bullet from the moon and it kills someone in texas do the texas police have jurisdiction or do the moon police?

[hollowtones]

you, though. 

you have listened.

[sadclowncentral]

what a great day to remember that we should not colonize mars, the whole concept is anthropocentric, imperialist, unrealistic and just weird, and the idea of establishing the same capitalistic systems that have turned out to be our downfall on another planet instead of solving problems on earth is so incredibly short-sighted and power fantasy driven that it makes me want to eat glass. the exploration of outer space should always be expressively and only for the benefit of all humankind, not to fill the pockets of some billionaires with a god complex. fuck elon musk all my homies hate elon musk

[xxsupergleedalexx]

omg imagine if we colonized mars just to establish a fandom outpost… like only members of fandom could live in the colony. we would have soooo much fun!!!

[sabertoothwalrus]

[haunted-meatsack]