What a life we lead

Name - Rebekah Age - 23 Location - Birmingham, England Boyfriend - William

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Brought some clothes the other day to wear to the gym

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I should know better than to go looking through things, but since it happened, I can’t help it, I’m not going looking for anything, I just.. Idk why I went looking and now I just feel bad and guilty and I don’t want him to act differently towards me for it, we’re free to go through each others phones and computers which I don’t mind, I have absolutely nothing to hide because I am completely and utterly in love with him and I do see myself eventually marrying him. I think I did it because I just wanna be on the safe side, seeing that nothing has been said makes me feel better about myself and our relationship because I feel like I don’t do enough for him, or at home, even though he reassures me that I do. But last time idk why he did it, but it was when I started my new job, and I haven’t been around for the last couple of nights because I’ve done 3 night shifts in a row, and I don’t want him to start feeling lonely or anything, and I just worry that because I’m not there for that long period of time maybe he gets bored or something and decides to start talking to someone else. 

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It's a bit of a weird thing to thank someone you've never met, to thank a girl you don't even like... But I have to say thank you to my current boyfriends ex girlfriend. I am thankful that you two broke up, I am thankful that you treated him like shit and expected him to spend all his money on you. Because I am the complete opposite of you, I don't expect him to spend money on me, I often take him out on dates and pay for our meal, I brought us a bed for our flat. I treat him the way I see him, as my favourite person in the world, he is nothing but kind, loving and full of good intentions and I don't understand how you would ever wanna let go of someone like that. Thank you for allowing me to meet him, the man I'm going to marry.

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Dear ex boyfriend

Thank you, thank you for everything I learnt in the two and a half years that I was with you, I moved in with you, learnt all about paying bills since I'd lived with my mom previously I never had to pay them, so thank you for that experience. Thank you for making me realise that I do get walked all over and taken for granted with the things that I do, which is exactly what you did, I paid all your bills, all the money for the house, food shops, your phone bill.. Absolutely everything I paid for and all you could do was sit at home and play games all the time not even attempting to get a job, and what happened after we broke up and I had to continue living with you so I wasn't homeless? Your best friend threatened to kill me, you didn't stick up for me, and tell him he was being stupid or anything like that, you let him carry on, so I sat in our bedroom for 6 hours crying my eyes out, constantly hearing him say "I'll go in there and fucking kill her, she's a fucking bitch" and you did fuck all to stop it, I still remember it like it happened yesterday, and I still think about it to this day. Thank you for not appreciating me enough, and making a mutual agreement that we should break up. Thank you for allowing me to leave and not make me feel guilty when I had to go back and move in with my mom because I feared for my life because your best friend lived with us. But most of all, thank you for 2 and a half years, it wasn't all bad, we had so many good times and silly little jokes about everything, and our things we used to say to each other when we were sad or upset, you made me realise the importance of being with someone who genuinely cares about me, and now I have that. It's been nearly 10 months since we've broken up, and I've never been happier, the start of those 10 months was the hardest time of my life, I contemplated killing myself because who would want me? But I found someone who does want me, appreciates all the things I do, makes me better myself and just makes me a better person all together, I am no longer the super bitchy judgemental grumpy woman you once knew, I am now loving, respectful and most of all a happy woman. Thank you for letting me go which allowed me to meet the man that I am going to marry, I couldn't ask for any more from you.