When a bear is loose in the inn, you gotta stay updated. So all day long you walk around like ‘oh what’d the bear do?’
The updates, they’re not always bad. Sometimes they’re just odd. The bear ordered juniper mead? I didn’t know he knew how to do that.
The creepiest days are when you don’t hear from the bear at all… You’re down in the wine cellar like “hey, has anyone, uh………. has anyone heard-” “roooaaaarrr”
Those are the quiet days where people are like “It looks like the bear has finally calmed down.” and then ten seconds later the bear is like “I’m gonna run toward the bedrooms and rip it apart with my claws, i got nice claws and big teeth, i’m a bear!” and its like
THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING BEAR
Then you go to Windhelm with people and they’re like “There shouldn’t be a bear in an inn!” and its like “WE ARE WELL PAST THAT!”
And then the stormcloaks are like “Well if there’s gonna be a bear in an inn, I’m gonna kill some Dark Elves” but those dont match up AT ALL!
And then for a second it seems like maybe we could survive the bear. But then 500 miles away, a DRAGON was like “I’M GOING TO EAT THE WORLD!”
And before we could even say anything the bear was like “If you even fucking LOOK at the inn I will claw you to death. I dare you to do it, I wa- I want you to do it! I want you to do it so I can claw you to death, I’m so fuckin crazy!”
And he’s like “You think you’re fuckin crazy? I’m a fuckin dragon! I live in another dimension, I’m FUCKIN CRAZY!”
And all of us are like “Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!” Like the poor Dragonborn at that goddamn peace conference.
Then for a second we’re like “Maybe the companions will catch the bear.”, and then the bear is like “I have eaten the companions” like HE CAN DO THAT?! That shouldn’t be allowed no matter who the bear is… I don’t remember that in Oblivion…
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