What I Meant Was I Love You @whatimeantwasiloveyou - Tumblr Blog

MATTHEW: He’s been running around like a crazy cat since I opened the windows. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. JILLIAN: He’s overstimulated. He’s like me at a buffet.

#cat #windows #overstimulated #buffet

JILLIAN: Do you want any ice cream? MATTHEW: No, I already had a cookie. JILLIAN: …only one? MATTHEW: One is all I need. JILLIAN: Have I taught you nothing? Even dessert gets dessert.

#ice cream #cookie #dessert

MATTHEW: You’re eating these for dessert. JILLIAN: You’re joking, right? MATTHEW: They’re healthy. JILLIAN: You don’t get to tell me what to eat for dessert. Who do you think you are? MATTHEW: I’m the Dessert King. JILLIAN: I’m going to punch you through your heart.

#dessert #joking #healthy #dessertking #punch #heart

MATTHEW: You and Boo are the same. JILLIAN: What do you mean? MATTHEW: You both just whine at me until I do what you want. JILLIAN: At least I have fingers. MATTHEW: …what? JILLIAN: Like, I can open doors and do things Boo can’t. MATTHEW: Oh! I thought you were making fun of me. JILLIAN: Well, yeah, I also have more fingers than you.

#cat #whine #fingers #doors

JILLIAN: What did you just say to the cat? MATTHEW: I said, “Please come here cat, I want to pick you up.” JILLIAN: No, what you said was “I’m going to punch you in your cat face. You woke up the burger wolf.” MATTHEW: I don’t know anything about that.

#cat #burger wolf

MATTHEW: I don’t think you seem like a bitch, I think I seem like an idiot. JILLIAN: But I’m always yelling at you in them. MATTHEW: No, you’re having an appropriate reaction to the bullshit that leaves my mouth.

#bitch #idiot #yelling #bullshit

MATTHEW: It’s a good dress. The dudes in the office will ignore you in it. JILLIAN: So what you just said was that it’s a good dress for not getting hit on? MATTHEW: No…what I meant was…I love you?

#dress #dudes #office #iloveyou

JILLIAN: What would you do if I was possessed? MATTHEW: I would document it. And upload everything to Dropbox so nobody could tamper with it. JILLIAN: What if I wasn’t possessed all the time? What if it just happened randomly? MATTHEW: I’d imagine that would be just like having a girlfriend.

#possessed #dropbox #girlfriend

JILLIAN: How does that look? MATTHEW: It looks good. It looks like your hair has a butthole. JILLIAN: How is that helpful?!

#hair #butthole #helpful

MATTHEW: You have an opinion on everything. JILLIAN: There has to be something I don’t have an opinion on. MATTHEW: Mashed potatoes? JILLIAN: I have a lot of opinions about mashed potatoes. MATTHEW: Anne Frank? JILLIAN: …what is wrong with you?

#opinion #mashed potatoes #anne frank

JILLIAN: I’m an adult lady! MATTHEW: Didn’t you eat seven pieces of chocolate last night? JILLIAN: Adult ladies eat too much chocolate!

#adult #lady #chocolate

MATTHEW: The score is one of my favorite parts. JILLIAN: It’s just always playing and I hate it. MATTHEW: I’m sorry that you don’t like good things. JILLIAN: Well obviously, since I’m dating you.

#twin peaks #score #dating

MATTHEW: You can deal with your booty on your own time JILLIAN: … MATTHEW: Booty meaning treasure JILLIAN: I’m still very confused MATTHEW: Nevermind. Just go to work. JILLIAN: I don’t want to start my day like this.

#booty #pirates #treasure

JILLIAN: (says something under her breath) MATTHEW: What was that? JILLIAN: I didn’t say anything. MATTHEW: Really? Because it sounded like you did. JILLIAN: Nope. I just coughed. MATTHEW: Well, you might want to go to the doctor, because your coughs are sounding real passive aggressive.

#coughing #passive agressive

JILLIAN: You should do it because you love me. MATTHEW: I’m constantly inconvenienced because I love you. JILLIAN: That’s what love is: forever being inconvenienced.

#love

JILLIAN: What are you doing? MATTHEW: Making hot dogs, singing the hot dog song. JILLIAN: “Señorita” is the hot dog song? MATTHEW: …is it not?

#hot dogs #justin timberlake #senorita

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