Howdy @whatthecrapola - Tumblr Blog

a printer is much like a genie in that you must account for its innate desire to undermine you and find whatever grounds it can to deliver you anything other than what you've asked for. however unlike a genie a printer can not be reasoned with and is not actually beholden to the letter of the law

felderwin

Realistically I know “let’s all kill ourselves” is just as bad or maybe worse than “im going to kill myself” but in my head it’s like. ok but im establishing a sense of community and proposing a group activity? like are we really going to get mad about that

kosmogrl

puppytae-irmakrov

They look so good

When you are unemployed, mysterious voices will tell you to "become a youtuber" but you must remind yourself that it's probably the amulet talking. The amulet you found last week, near the park. It has given you good advice so far, but there is always a line that you shouldn't cross.

disgustinggf

one-time-i-dreamt

I was on a date with Gerard Way and we ate cheese. Specifically, the cheese strange aeons had at the start of her Bethany rage video (which after watching the video gives my dream more implications). This is the most tumblr worthy dream I have had.

austimpowerz

uses my insane musscle memory to open 4 wrong apps in a row

were--ralph

the world wasn't ready for this one

aarrowom

Tumblr acting out this gif

were--ralph

pansyfemme

i don't think youtubers should be allowed to advertise online therapy or credit cards or prescription hair loss treatments. can you sell me a candy bar or something

animentality

is that a bug

don’t you know it’s not good for your hair to wash it every day. you have to use sulfate and paraben free shampoo. you have to wash your hair with conditioner instead. you should stop washing your hair for a month because actually your scalp has the natural ability to maintain itself. greasy hair can make your acne worse so make sure you wash it every day. you have to use this three step regiment on your face EVERY SINGLE night. buy this $70 serum and use it with the 10 other serums you have but don’t combine them. don’t use anything on your face except a gentle cleanser and moisturizer. do NOT use moisturizer on your face you are DESTROYING your skins natural moisture barrier! acne is just for teenagers you’ll grow out of it :) oh no but adult acne is sooooo common. just take birth control and your acne will go away. cut out all sugar and dairy and your acne will go away. actually those studies are fake, get light therapy treatments instead. take accutane and your acne will go away, only a couple of those kids killed themselves! shave your armpits because it looks better. if you shave your armpits you’re not a feminist. actually shaving your armpits is for HYGIENE. wax your legs. wax your bikini line. but waxing any part of your body can give you ugly ingrown hairs and permanently damage your skin and follicles and besides that’s the patriarchy. (but get laser hair removal instead.) don’t have an eating disorder because that’s too much but definitely do intermittent fasting. don’t eat carbs. don’t eat sugar. don’t eat fat. actually your brain uses carbs as its main energy source. actually fat is necessary but only good fat. you have to DRINK MORE WATER!!! drinking 8 glasses of water per day is a myth. burn fat and get toned by doing these exercises. but cellulite is natural and 99% of women have it so you HAVE to embrace it. take diet pills. ummm don’t you know those are meth?? take NATURAL diet supplements for weight loss. take THESE vitamins to cure your depression and clear your skin and make you better at sex and make your vision better and speed up your metabolism and make your digestion better and make you focus better. i know the ONLY right answer but you have to pay me for it. follow my blog! listen to my podcast! subscribe to my email newsletter! buy my snake oil!!