Cripple In Training

Sideblog of in-trans-it.tumblr.com

[girlwithseriousproblems]

Not diagnosing a child doesn't mean they won't notice they're different. It just means that instead of thinking "I'm struggling because I have autism/adhd/anxiety/depression/schizophrenia", they will just conclude that they are struggling because they are stupid, weak, annoying, unlovable, etc.

[hey-you-i-just]

[ernmark]

I most often see executive dysfunction talked about in terms of not being able to make yourself do things. And that’s one of its manifestations, yes, but it’s not the only one. Another really big one that I see is something called Decision Fatigue. Making choices is an executive function, but each one that you make costs you something. The more complex they are, the more it costs– and if you’re already low on mental resources, even small choices can be completely overwhelming. 

The example used most often is that of a courtroom judge, whose ability to fairly evaluate the cases they’re presiding over deteriorates during the day. Elsewhere I’ve seen the example of grocery shopping– when you’ve got a tight budget, every single item you look at requires complex cost-benefit analysis, to the point that you’re mentally exhausted and not making good choices about anything by the time you get to the register (where, conveniently, you’ll find candy, cigarettes, and scratch-off tickets waiting for you). 

But even smaller things than that count.

I’ve watched my partner spiral into a panic attack when I asked him what he wants for dinner.

I’ve broken down sobbing over someone asking me I want to do on my birthday, and I’ve shut down altogether over something as innocuous as what color I want my bed to be in minecraft.

Even the tiny, mundane, innocent choices just feel like they’re too big, too much, too overwhelming. 

Like with a whole lot of mental health things, it’s incredibly difficult to do anything about this kind of thing if you don’t have the words for it or the means to explain it– and damn close to impossible to explain any of it when you’re in the thick of a bad episode. But once you have that language and understanding in place, things do get easier.

Because then you can get to the point where “I don’t know” and “I can’t make a decision right now” are perfectly acceptable answers that don’t require any further explanation. 

And trust me, that takes a load off your shoulders.

[thatgirlyyouprobablydontknow2]

Tw, profanity

Your cane? Fucking beautiful.

Your wheelchair? Absolutely stunning.

Feeding tube? Cute as all hell.

Iv? Bitch, you look great.

Oxygen tube? Fucking amazing.

Pic line? Incredible.

Prosthetic limb? Bitch, cute as fuck.

G-tube? Absolutely. Fucking. Stunning.

Insulin pump? Fucking beautiful.

Walking frame? Hearing aid? Tremor? Tics? Flu mask? Heart monitor? Braces? Heat patches? Glasses? Service dog? Hair loss? Mark's on your skin?

Cute as all fucking hell.

You look beautiful and incredible, inside and out. Including all your medical needs.

[sunflower-cane]

Your back brace doesnt make you less of a person

Your knee braces doesnt make you less of a person

Your wrist braces doesnt make you less of a person

Your cane doesnt

Your wheelchair doesnt

Your disability doesnt make you less of a person

You are worthy of love and compassion and your feelings and pain are valid.

You are a person. You deserve to be a person

Remember that

[impotsiblelife]

Just because someone else who has the same illness as you can work full time or do more than you can, doesn’t mean you can or should do more. Even people with the same chronic illness have different symptoms and severity levels. Try not to view other chronically ill people’s lifestyles as “proof” that you should be doing more. Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s right for your body. 

[afewregretsmaybe]

[itsanotherhateblog-deactivated2]

Support giant clunky loud mobility aid users!! I see a ton of positivity for cane users, which is good cause y’all rock, but people who use bigger ones that don’t really come in easily hideable/foldable options rock too!! Fuck the part of your brain that tells you that if you’re not discrete as possible then you’re doing something wrong!! Be big and loud!! Be indiscrete!! Take up a much space as humanly possible!! If people don’t like it then they’re more than welcome to send their concerns to the trash!! 

[justhypermobilethings]

not being able to move without hurting yourself but also not being able to stay in one position without hurting yourself 

[sporks-and-spoons]

“Well if you asserted dominance over your knees, this wouldn’t happen!”

-my fathers response to my knees bending backwards suddenly

[youngchronicpain]

Some people want to ignore your chronic pain after awhile. They want to treat it like an acute injury, old news. But it’s not. It’s your life. So, don’t feel bad asserting yourself when someone tries to ignore the pain you feel. It took me many of years to understand this, but someone erasing your disability is not someone being kind. Or someone complimenting you. At best they are ignorant, at worst they’re a dick. Either way, correct them. Make them see you, see your pain. Even if your disability is invisible to most people, don’t let them take your voice. No, you aren’t lazy because you haven’t been able to leave the house. No, getting a job doesn’t have to be your biggest priority at the moment. You are in this much pain and you are still kind, resilient, and amazing. I think able-bodied people can stand to acknowledge you without ignoring a huge part of your life.

[afewregretsmaybe]

[bipolarcorner]

Have literally lost friendships over this

[vanguard]

people who think adhd is fake are so fucking funny like can you imagine if i was like this on purpose

[whitepeopletwitter]

Can I please get a new nurse?

[commandtower-solring-go-deactiv]

how is this a universal experience?

[tasteslikecoconutandmetal]

male high school bullies: become cops

female high school bullies: become nurses

[tcookies]

As a nursing student, I can attest to the amount of bullying and horrible behavior I’ve seen from fellow nursing students. One of the students in my school’s nursing program got kicked out because she was bullying her own patient…

My mom is also a nurse and she has both witnessed AND personally experienced bullying from her fellow nurses. My dad is a nurse as well and has had his own coworkers try to sabatoge him.

This is called “lateral/horizontal violence” and it’s sadly prevalent in the Nursing profession.

[bumbleshark]

it goes as deep as the billing offices for hospitals too. i cant tell yall how much highschool drama my mom has had to deal with in 20 years of billing.

[prince-luffy]

I feel like talking about nurses bullying each other is missing the entire fucking point of this tweet.

“One of the students in my school’s nursing program got kicked out because she was bullying her own patient.” Yeah, that’s the fucking issue right there. It’s not that they backstab each other, it’s that they abuse the patients and they do it constantly. It is not a rare occurrence and rarely are they even reprimanded for it let alone kicked out of a program.

Do you know how viscerally upsetting it is to have been subjected to years and years of ableist abuse from someone just to hear that they’re entering patient care? Do you know what it’s like to have a high school bully walk into your hospital room with a big fake smile on her face? I do.

My cousin used to “play” with me when she was 16 and I was newly diagnosed with POTS at 11 years old by triggering fainting episodes and then laughing about it. She is an RN now and at every holiday she shit talks her patients, often outright breaking HIPPA to do it. She calls them liars and exaggerators. She did it every year until we got disowned. I’m sure she still does. I used to have to leave early because I knew that if I had to endure one more second of it and I would rip her throat out.

The peers that mocked and abused me daily, calling me a faker and a liar for having an invisible disability, going into nursing is way more upsetting to me as a potential patient than them being catty with each other. It’s way more scary to me to have someone who never believed that I was ill in charge of my care than thinking about them fighting over a promotion does.

Bullies who go into nursing abuse patients the same way bullies who become cops abuse civilians. That’s the real issue. It’s not horizontal aggression, it’s medical abuse.

[jackpowerx]

It’s almost like people who get off on abusing power over vulnerable people seek professions in which they have institutional power over vulnerable people.

[endangeredbodiesnyc]

Disabled people’s lives are not tragedies. Parents and carers are not “heroes” for loving disabled people. Disabled people’s private moments should not be shared without consent on your “warrior mom” blog. Disabled people are not your pity hires, dates, or friends. Disabled people do not exist to be saved or spoken for by non-disabled people.

Treat disabled people with respect and dignity. Treat disabled people like people.

[smolalpacacutie-deactivated2021]

Does anyone else with autism get that brain thing where their mental dictionary just randomly decides to become unavailable? And all you’re left with is describing the word or saying close approximations until someone says it for you?

“The big… Cleaner. In that room.”

“The washing machine?”

“YES!”

[ileolai]

this is called anomic aphasia, which ironically i had to type various approximations of into google to remember. 

[mad-dyspunktional]

Is… this also a thing in people with ADHD? Because this definitely happens to me.

[thealmightysystem]

Yes!

In fact this is not quite a mental illness thing. Neurotypicals also experience this. However, the difference is that in those with ADHD, or autism, it occurs much more frequently, and the cause has to do with the brain, not just slipping on words from time to time.

This can be caused by different things, as studies have looked into this.

Here is the definition of aphasia, from Mayo Clinic:

“Aphasia gets in the way of a person’s ability to use or understand words. Aphasia does not impair the person’s intelligence. People who have aphasia may have difficulty speaking and finding the “right” words to complete their thoughts. They may also have problems understanding conversation, reading and comprehending written words, writing words, and using numbers.“

Whereas in neurotypicals, an occasional flump in word usage can be associated with the brain’s compartmentalization, in aphasia it is caused by the language parts of the brain being affected by an injury or illness, making understanding, speaking, or both more difficult.

Anomic Aphasia is when the brain cannot remember the name of an object. As the wiki page states, ”Anomic aphasia (also known as dysnomia, nominal aphasia, and amnesic aphasia) is a mild, fluent type of aphasia where individuals have word retrieval failures and cannot express the words they want to say (particularly nouns and verbs).“ Basically this means they know what the object is, they can identify and describe what it looks like and does, and even draw it or point it out, but cannot put the proper name to it.

Aphasia is typically associated with stroke victims, head injuries or brain tumors, but disorders that affect language, such as autism, can also cause symptoms of aphasia.

I would absolutely not be surprised if ADHD can also result in anomic aphasia, since Broca’s Area (a location on the left side of the frontal lobe associated with expression through speech) is in the frontal lobe, the part of the brain most affected by ADHD.

[mad-dyspunktional]

Wow, thanks for explaining all of this, it’s super interesting. I have noticed that I seem to get ‘stuck’ and have word finding problems a lot more frequently than your average person. 

[jackironsides]

I do have ADHD, but I found I started getting anomic aphasia a lot more regularly as my fibromyalgia symptoms got stronger.

[no-lo-lo]

I once forgot the word “stir” so I had to frustradedly stammer out an instruction to “rotate vigorously” to my brother.

[star-anise]

My girlfriend calls this “numinous aphids” when she can’t remember its actual name.

[jabberwockypie]

I couldn’t remember “cat litter” and called it “asshole powder”.

Surprisingly, my cousin understood what I meant and added it to the grocery list.

[proudautisticgirl]

My best friend and I were talking about this!! We couldn’t find the name for it but we were confused because we couldnt figure out if it was related to autism or not!!

[n6mcv]

i'm in pain but still chillin