Jimmy Eat World
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pixel skylines
@theartofmadeline
bliss lane
#extradirty
tumblr dot com
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Today's Document
if i look back, i am lost
Mike Driver
taylor price
Keni
blake kathryn
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Noah Kahan
oozey mess
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Color Me Curious
seen from United States
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seen from Bangladesh
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@whistlesoundeffect
truly no video game moment will ever surpass the part in portal 2 where glados says "well, this is the part where he kills us" and wheatley says "hello, this is the part where i kill you" and you unlock the achievement titled "the part where he kills you" (description: this is that part) and the chapter title appears on the screen and reads: chapter nine: the part where he kills you
you really cant be buying cheap toilet paper as a bushed up warrior because it always leaves your pussy a crumb sandwich
Official ominous graffiti
DO NOT DOWNLOAD TUMBLR it will install a virus on your device called tumblr
Me when the characters in a story start arguing and letting their nasty sides out and i get to see if their relationship can stand it, grow, or if ultimately they break apart. Or maybe even a secret third worse thing.
possibly my favourite scene from anything ever
ok what the hell is the x files
This video is the reason I started watching the x files
yes babe the sex was great but i never finished talking about vampires so i think we need to get back to that
once you learn enough about evolutionary biology you start seeing ghosts everywhere
after the end cretaceous extinction event, basically all megafaunal niches were suddenly empty; and most got filled in some way. proboscideans instead of sauropods, carnivorans instead of theropods, ungulates instead of ceratopsians and hadrosaurs etc...
but the thing is: only *most* got filled to some extent
not all
because there used to be dragons
and now their niche is just *empty*
it's like i can feel the gap they left, in everything from open grassland ecosystems to isolated islands; the world we know is shaped by the absence of a truly big flying predator
no bird could ever fill their niche, because of plain and simple anatomical constraints
because they cannot use their wings to jump
birds could never be azdarchids
they could never be dragons
there are no more dragons
but there used to be
there used to be...
if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”
but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”
Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.
Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.
Some examples:
Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness.
I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like,
A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.
Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it.
I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase.
Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. It’s all gonna be ok, I swear.
This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, “talk to me about your work.”
Plus it’s hilarious.
I love ancient art history !!!!!
@lowercasetrashwriter
Museums should have sections dedicated to artifacts like these with a warning that says “There’s a lot of private parts in here but we’re dedicated to displaying history so we won’t censor these. Enter at your own risk” or something. It’s prudish to deliberately hide history because of some ding dongs.
Fucking Puritanism.
Unpopular opinion: Sex exists. Making body parts taboo is both psychologically bad for us and kinda stupid.
I think a lot about the changeling episode and how the cartoonishly exaggerated changelings (yaoi Laios, terf Marcille) probably came from Chilcuck.
Which means THIS is how Chilchuck sees Senshi
OP of this collection got deleted but the other one i reblogged made me remember this so i must spread the word
marathon durandal ass images
The possibility of me emotionally reacting to air pressure changes, and my boyfriend having an allergic reaction to ground spores makes a funny concept. You know it's going to rain when the way he starts sneezing makes me want to tell him to shut the fuck up.
Nuns drawn by Nakahara Junichi, who was born in a Christian family, from 1936 and 1937.
i was at an event last night in california and i went to the bar to order wine bc wine was like, a thing, and i looked at the menu and saw i was completely out of my depth bc idk any wine names, so i turned to my right and there was a man in a gorgeous suit standing at the bar beside me and i said “do you know anything about wine?” and he said “a little, yes!” i told him i liked white and dry wines and asked if he’d order for me. he asked the server for two glasses and had one poured for each of us and then he clinked his glass on mine but he didn’t take a sip, he just watched me taste mine and then he asked what i thought and i said “it’s pretty good, but like i said, i wouldn’t know.” he laughed and told me to have a good time & i walked away. fifteen minutes later i found out he’s the winemaker.
one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.
do you guys remember when we used to say oh worm all the time. remember that
is anybody out there
