[bursten]

"what did you get for christmas?" Fat. I got fat.

[foodffs]

[greelin]

something u ordered online finally arriving

[internezz]

[fruitsnacky]

[insertdogname]

My fucking o chem professor messaged me on Grindr I’m SCREAMing

[spidersplicers-deactivated20210]

[flonked-deactivated20130306]

inspirational

[thewokepill]

[sonypraystation]

this needs to be in the history books

[dutchster]

how much more mistletoe do i have to eat before someone comes to kiss me?

[ladiesof-shield]

[prowling-lights]

This pun…..oh man…..

[baconpoweredmutant]

We only have less than a month to use this pun. The rarest of puns that can no longer be used, once the year is over.

[iraffiruse]

[brisbone]

Saying you child is your “kid” is an insult to goats everywhere.

[zooophagous]

I’ll insult moms everywhere. Fight me Pam.

[cakelikeowen]

Fuck you, Barbara 

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

You want to do this now, Helen?

[ohgodshesloose]

Oh it is on Brenda

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Eight o clock after the PTA meeting, Joan

[saddest-faery-gothmother]

Uhm, my kids will be going to bed at 8, Sandy, because unlike SOME mothers I put my children to bed at a responsible time!

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Don’t you bring my kids into this, Janet

[martinscorsissy-deactivated2019]

You’re right Sandy, we shouldn’t bring your C- average kids into this. We should, however, bring your 2013 Honda Odyssey that reeks of failure and cigarettes from your midnight affairs with the mail man.

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

At least I have a man touching me, unlike SOMEONE I know. When was the last time Frank so much as looked at you, Jackie?

[loptrcoptr]

C-Carol, you’ve gone t-t-too far!

[cu2co3oh2sio2]

NONE OF YOU ARE INVITED TO THE CASSEROLE POTLUCK! That includes you, Cynthia…

[bando--grand-scamyon]

[blvckdynamite]

God this is magical

[tesladyneindustries]

damn…..pen-zoned again

[clippy]

*tips eraser* m’lead-y

[missxmisanthropist-deactivated2]

[sickpage]

A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN

[t-hy-lla]

yes hello i am here to learn geometries

[girlwithalessonplan]

That crow is more prepared than some of my students.

[toocooltobehipster]

the gym the first week of 2013

the gym a month later