I saw a post about Flint that made me realize something about myself.
They were talking about how even James McGraw was a facade he was putting on to fit in with the Navy and that we as an audience know very little about who he really is at his core.
I made a whole post about how I thought a lot about his struggles with being an orphan and how that impacted him and how he viewed the world and himself. I was adopted at three so I know a bit on the topic and experience myself.
But it made me realize that ever since I could remember I would try to be someone, try to fit in wherever I was because deep down I didn’t really know who I was. My identity had been ripped away from me and I think Flint/James went through a similar realization.
Like, these personalities were part of him; he created them, but they were also a mask. Like beneath the masks all he saw was hurt, loneliness and rage. Everything else seemed to be a means of survival.
I guess I relate to that because through my life I’ve tried to do different things, be different people, to figure out a way to fit in or feel accepted. But no matter what I did, I was always on the outside. Even when people told me I wasn’t.
So when people question why Flint was so reserved or never let anyone in, sure, it was because he lost Thomas, but like I said in my other post, I think it goes much deeper than that. It’s a loss of self, or rather, never having a single solid self identity in the first place.
It’s not even only a LGBTQ+ thing either, because even if he wasn’t qeer, he’d most likely still feel like that. He tries to fit himself into these boxes, or these roles to figure out who he is and what his narrative in the story is, but no matter what he does or calls himself, it doesn’t feel right.
The only way I can explain it any better is saying that everyone is an element in life and has their own set of properties; but you feel like you’re not any of them, or possibly all of them combined. You aren’t a definable element like everyone else seems to be, because you’re made up by both of your parents. And if you grow up not knowing them, it doesn’t matter if you have stories told to you about them; it’s not the same thing as growing up with them in your life. You just feel…wrong in some way.
At least that’s my experience and what I assume to be a possibility for Flint/James.
So you go through life trying to find something that fits, or just try to work your way through life as you are in the moment, but you always have this part of you missing that you can’t fill, no matter how hard you try, because what’s missing is what was ripped away, and I’m not sure it’s possible to get it back. So you try to find things that feel the closest to what was taken. And I think that was Thomas and Miranda in some ways for Flint. Gates was another one, father figure in my opinion.
Personally I’m still trying to find those missing pieces, but I have a third one; a half-sister I was selected from.
(I even told my therapist that I think I wasn’t given drive/ambition/motivation because if I had it; we’d all be in trouble. Because I relate to Flint’s anger and rage so much and loneliness and a whole list of things about his character that makes him broken but such a good candidate to start a revolutionary war.)
The fact that he was raised by his grandfather. Now, maybe it was common back then, but from personal experience; losing your parents at su

















