I AM THE KRAKEN

Im a full adult

[fongus-the-ninth]

Likely one of the funniest things we will get from the extremely late-to-the-party among us show

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

Bro why did you censor the snake's cloaca on the snake anatomy post??? It's a snake?

I didn't censor anything, what -

oh. Oh, no. That's meant to be a line to show where the tail begins. Oh no, now I look like some weird prude.

Yeah, that's meant to help people grasp the anatomy and visualize how small the tail is in relation to the torso. Not meant to be some kind of weird snake privacy screen

[mastermatoyas]

We CANNOT have snudity (snake nudity) on this webbed site

[fullyfunctionalminiaturebeehive]

Gotta respect their snivacy (snake privacy)

[exuberantocean]

Tumblr porn ban safe snake post

[rowanberrypop]

for some reason when i listen to american idiot i picture the lucky star dance, so i bring you faggot america friday

[catchymemes]

[parentheticalaside]

We haven’t decided shit; they started putting a ton of stretch into clothes so it’s unnecessary for most of them. They look worse on our bodies now but certainly easier to care for.

[red-eye-radio]

So I thought y'all would like this too This great white comes to the jersey shore every year and this year they named her and have been tracking her hella so this is Mary Lee and she decided to show herself under this rainbow for pride month A true gay icon

[victoryyodel]

#This is the representation I’ve been looking for

[nvexe]

my pronouns are she/her bc I'll never be him (anthony head playing on his pink ds in full costume on the set of merlin)

[dailycatsblog]

[pseudomantis]

What the fuck

[astarlingdiscovery]

It's a yellow bittern! They are very creechur.

[x] [x]

[bogleech]

Nature is incredible, you can really see just at a quick glance how these evolved to speak together in rhyming riddles while performing a spooky dance, laughing at you because they're The Wee Creatures Three and you will Never Get Their Key.

[ceanothusspinosus]

foot to head ratio off the charts

[bucatinibucatini]

i love cis people cause when i say “when i used to be a girl…” they go “mhmm…. but also….. you’ve ALWAYS been a man” okay ur very sweet but actually i was a weird girl in middle school and you need to know that to understand my personality today

[tbuns]

The “weird little girl” part of my life makes me a better man idk what to tell y’all

[fantasmalresplendent]

I can't be the first to make this connection

[fantasmalresplendent]

y'all slept on the first chart but I will make the world see my vision

[interestingmistakes]

Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.

[lakevida]

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

[wakingfromthewater]

This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.

[artistic-octopus]

[wordswithkittywitch]

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

[totally-not-an-al1en]

[stjohnstarling]

I watch a lot of old movies that nobody cares about any more, and this ends up filling in a lot of gaps in my cultural awareness. You would think knowing more about the world would make me more confident in my understanding of it, but you would be wrong.

The Barefoot Contessa (1954) is the life story of a poor Spanish woman who rises up to become one of the most famous actresses in the world. The movie does not bother to give her character traits beyond that she loves to have sex and also that she loves to run around barefoot (the fetishistic connotations are inescapable). She falls in love with a count and ultimately marries him. The big twist at the end of the movie is that her new husband had his dick blown off in the war and so they can't have sex (because, tragically, he never learned how to do hand stuff). Then he murders her for having an affair.

In 1978, Ina Garten bought a specialty food store that, for some unfathomable reason, someone had already named The Barefoot Contessa after this movie, which in 1999 became the title of her bestselling cookbook, which was then followed by a popular Food Network show. Now all of us need to deal with there being a TV cooking show called The Barefoot Contessa as part of the background radiation of our lives.

None of that makes any sense, and I am forced once more to confront the total lack of meaning in the world. It fills me with a terrifying sense of freedom.

[beholdingslut]

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[bigfoots-biggest-fan]

HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY

Visit Original Link

Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...

Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).

[punkrorschach]

happy first day of pride everyone

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

The thing is nobody at pride is evaluating you to determine if you’re queer enough to be there because they’re too busy thinking “it’s so hot out” and “why is this lemonade 12 dollars?”

[vintage-tigre]