[wingweaver24]

[mintaii]

where my heart is

[lavenderpanic]

all of my writing is actually just thinly-veiled fantasy about being seen at your worst and still being loved

[foxboytail]

As a young adult, I used to think what messed me up as a kid was having completely unfiltered access to things I wasn’t ready for, like NSFW content, gore, heavy discourse, and the existence of predatory adults online. But now that I’m older, I see it differently.

The problem wasn’t what I had access to. It was that I didn’t have access to a safe adult I could actually talk to; someone I could trust to help me without immediately cutting me off from everything and everyone. I remember getting messages from strangers on Skype. I didn’t even respond. But when my parents found out, they banned me from using it entirely. That meant losing most of my contact with friends outside of school. So what did I do? I went behind their backs. And once I was hiding, I couldn’t tell them when something actually dangerous was happening, like when I started being groomed. By the time things escalated, I was already alone with it.

I think about an episode of Scared Straight where a girl was dragged through a prison because she’d been talking to adult men online. She wasn’t doing that because she was reckless or malicious; she was lonely. Her parents weren’t present, she was being bullied at school, and these men gave her attention, told her she was pretty, told her she mattered. She was already being harmed. And the adults in her life responded by terrorizing her. Humiliating her. Calling her a slut. Telling her she deserved it. Breaking her to pieces.

What lesson does that actually teach? Not “this is dangerous, come to us.” It teaches: If you get hurt, we will hurt you more. Do you really think that makes her stop, or does it just make the predators look safer by comparison? They might as well have driven her straight into the jaws of those predators with torches and pitchforks. Because when every path back to safety is lined with punishment, kids don’t run away from danger. They run deeper into it.

If you want kids to be safe, stop treating them like problems to control and start treating them like people worth protecting. Stop ripping away their autonomy the second they make a mistake or encounter something risky. Stop teaching them that honesty will cost them everything.

Be the person they can come to without fear of losing their entire world. Because safety isn’t built through control, it’s built through trust. And if you aren’t safe for them to tell the truth to, then you aren’t keeping them safe at all.

[vaspider]

YES.

I have gotten so much shit over the years for saying that if my kid read fiction or anything else online that she wasn't ready to see, I'd check in with her on how she was doing mentally and emotionally, and then talk to her about how she saw it, and how to avoid seeing things that she didn't want to see in the future. People have portrayed this as me being A-OK with my kid being exposed to anything willy-nilly, no matter how out-there, both bc I wouldn't have punished her and because I didn't see "my kid got access to something Too Mature For Her online" as a reason to sanitize the internet.

But here's the thing: I've dealt with situations like that more than once. Now, my daughter is in her mid-twenties at this point, and we're far past the question of "can she look at naughty fanfic online?" Clearly she can and whether she does is so not my business. But back in the day, she ran into stuff she didn't want to see more than once, she ran into people who bullied her, she had some experiences that put up my hackles for her safety, she had someone try to steal her identity...

... and none of those things became critical issues. Why?

Because she knew that she could come and talk to me. She knew she could come and talk to me and that my first thought wasn't going to be "oh, you're Bad and In Trouble and I'm going to Punish You so that you're Good next time," but "You have a Problem and we're going to solve it together so that in the future, you know how to solve it yourself, and you know that if you need my help, I will absolutely help you."

And when one of her problems was "I've figured out that I'm a girl and I need your help making my body stop doing the wrong puberty for me," she came to me then, too. And when one of her problems was "I'm having a Weird Symptom that could be nothing or could be Something Big," she came to me, too. And—crucially—all of those things are the same thing, at the core.

My kid had a Problem. She needed my help. There were times when we had to have conversations afterwards about the consequences of the things she might have done, but my first priority was always making sure she was okay, and that she knew that if she had a Problem, my first concern is always going to be helping her fix it.

And you know what? She still calls me if she needs to talk through her problems. These days it's more, "Hey, I don't know what to do about this problem at work," but she still calls me.

Someday, I'm not going to be around anymore to help her fix things, and in anticipation of that fact, it is and was my job to equip her with the tools she'll need to take care of herself when I can't help her anymore. If I'm not teaching her how to deal with things, if I'm cutting her off from resources, if I'm not actually there for helping her solve the problems, all I'm doing is setting her up for a future where her parents are gone and she doesn't know how to fix shit, because we didn't teach her.

Anyway, yeah.

[t4timekeeper]

[goldensunset]

my thing i haven’t made is so good 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[jewfrogs]

the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that

[bobdylanslesbianlover]

i had to phone a taxi today, scary

[sga-owns-my-soul]

every time i see this post i think of that person who posted on reddit that they wanted to go to subway for the first time but they were scared they would say the wrong thing so someone gave them step by step instructions for the entire process and what all the choices would be and when they would ask what question and i just think

someone will

someone out there will see you and say "yes. the world is scary. but let me hold your hand and show you how to do it anyways"

everyone needs that someone, and everyone can be that someone

[warriorsdebt]

The subreddit r/explainlikeimscared is a surprisingly good resource for this. People are always very kind and thorough from what I've seen, and I spend a decent amount of time there giving walkthroughs and answering questions when I know the process.

[halfblackwolfdemon]

SHARING TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE OUT!

[forgrtashes-blog]

I think my game is corrupted.

[ayeforscotland]

Teachers Worry About A.I. for Students. For Themselves It’s Another Matter.

Educators are increasingly using generative A.I. in their own work, even as they express profound hesitation about the ethics of student use

Using Generative AI in any school setting is like driving into a gym with a forklift and using it to lift weights. Nobody is doing any fucking work.

Are we really going to accept a world where students use generative AI to write essays and bad teachers use Generative AI to grade and give feedback?

Fucking clown world.

[borderlands-disorder]

[whatcoloristhatcat]

black with low white spotting (this cat has vitiligo)

[redflagshipwriter]

This cat looks like the starry night sky and none of us had big enough brains to foretell her coming. I am lost in wonder. Great cat.

[itsclydebitches]

Something I don't think we talk enough about in discussions surrounding AI is the loss of perseverance.

I have a friend who works in education and he told me about how he was working with a small group of HS students to develop a new school sports chant. This was a very daunting task for the group, in large part because many had learning disabilities related to reading and writing, so coming up with a catchy, hard-hitting, probably rhyming, poetry-esque piece of collaborative writing felt like something outside of their skill range. But it wasn't! I knew that, he knew that, and he worked damn hard to convince the kids of that too. Even if the end result was terrible (by someone else's standards), we knew they had it in them to complete the piece and feel super proud of their creation.

Fast-forward a few days and he reports back that yes they have a chant now... but it's 99% AI. It was made by Chat-GPT. Once the kids realized they could just ask the bot to do the hard thing for them - and do it "better" than they (supposedly) ever could - that's the only route they were willing to take. It was either use Chat-GPT or don't do it at all. And I was just so devastated to hear this because Jesus Christ, struggling is important. Of course most 14-18 year olds aren't going to see the merit of that, let alone understand why that process (attempting something new and challenging) is more valuable than the end result (a "good" chant), but as adults we all have a responsibility to coach them through that messy process. Except that's become damn near impossible with an Instantly Do The Thing app in everyone's pocket. Yes, AI is fucking awful because of plagiarism and misinformation and the environmental impact, but it's also keeping people - particularly young people - from developing perseverance. It's not just important that you learn to write your own stuff because of intellectual agency, but because writing is hard and it's crucial that you learn how to persevere through doing hard things.

Write a shitty poem. Write an essay where half the textual 'evidence' doesn't track. Write an awkward as fuck email with an equally embarrassing typo. Every time you do you're not just developing that particular skill, you're also learning that you did something badly and the world didn't end. You can get through things! You can get through challenging things! Not everything in life has to be perfect but you know what? You'll only improve at the challenging stuff if you do a whole lot of it badly first. The ability to say, "I didn't think I could do that but I did it anyway. It's not great, but I did it," is SO IMPORTANT for developing confidence across the board, not just in these specific tasks.

Idk I'm just really worried about kids having to grow up in a world where (for a variety of reasons beyond just AI) they're not given the chance to struggle through new and challenging things like we used to.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

I think this is an incredibly important post for a lot of reasons. You have to write a bad book in order to learn how to do something. You have to suck at playing an instrument before you can improve.

Struggling is part of the process, and I've had a lot of people argue with me that it shouldn't be who fail to see the point. When you replace an composer with an AI music generator, an artist with an AI-generated image, or an author with an AI-generated fanfic, you are missing out on the critical, fundamental experiences humans need to learn and grow. You are robbing yourself of essential skills you need as a person.

AI is not like a calculator, or a synthesizer, or a prompt generator. It's not a tool to aid in your process of understanding or creating something. It is replacing your ability to learn things, and that is going to do so much damage if you let it.

[saintemiliosandoz]

y’all really recommend books like: title, there are gay characters, enemies to lovers, young adult, written by poc

not once do i ever see a summary

[mycoolstoryworld]

What more info do you need?

[fakewant]

A SUMMARY

[starshine-honey-deactivated2023]

WHAT DO U MENA SUMMARY WHAT ELSE MATTERS ITS GAY POC AND ENEMIES TO LOVERS HOW OFTEN DO U CONE ACROSS THAT

[pollackpatrol]

i want to know what its about mainly. is it a romance? is there plot besides the romance? is it realistic fiction? sci fi? fantasy? historical? future? alternate history? whats the tone? what are the themes? what are the main characters’ NAMES?

[starshine-honey-deactivated2023]

I- it’s gay the gay

[pollackpatrol]

i value queer characters too. but i also want to know WHAT THE BOOK I’M READING IS ABOUT.

[marzipanandminutiae]

“GAY AND/OR RACIALLY DIVERSE” IS NOT A GENRE. nor is it an indicator of quality

do you know how many times I’ve been recommended a book solely because “it’s queer fantasy!”

do you know how many times those books have been so poorly written that I couldn’t finish them

[captainlordauditor]

Mostly, I want to know the tone. A 19th century war story isn’t gonna do it for me when I’m in the mood for a lighthearted austenesque romance - and those are both historical. A star warsy space romp isn’t gonna do it if I want to read about interplanetary political negotiations - and those are both sci fi. A fun gratuitious don’t-think-about-it-too-hard action story is not the same as a dark and complicated mob drama. A suspenseful thriller will bore me if I’m looking for a fast paced spy novel.

[eerieticals-deactivated20220522]

not providing a summary literally just shows how you treat marginalized people and their representation as this token woke thing that you can show off like a shiny trophy. no, people aren’t going to read something just because it has representation! that’s not how it works!

[elidyce]

At least include a genre. Locate your enemies-to-lovers in a ballpark of some kind. 

[avayarising]

#I personally avoid ‘general literature’ like the plague#it’s genre or nothing#adult Lit is mostly unpleasant people making bad decisions and then feeling sorry for themselves because of the consequences#in my experience#and if I’m going to have to put up with that nonsense I’m going to need some dragons at least – @elidyce

[elbiotipo]

I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.

For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.

When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.

[just-french-me-up]

Are you alright, honey? You've barely put your blorbo in situations

[nealashitposts]

Okay but back when I could afford a therapy my psychiatrist asked if I had written any fanfiction or planned any out in my head, and I was "nah, not really." And she nodded and looked down at her notes and was like "so how do you feel about possibly trying Zoloft?"

I started laughing and she was like "I know it sounds funny but it's been six months without you engaging in your favorite hobby and that's a sign the depression is getting to a point where we might why try some treatments with meds in addition to therapy."

So like. yeah.

[ruffboi-mags]

So, babe, ARE you okay? You've barely put your blorbo in situations

[sophie531896273240810891]

i spent $32 on this fucking bowl at the moma and at first i felt bad buying it bc it was so expensive but ive had a terrible day today and every time i look at my lil bowl im like :o) you know what. i can get through anything with this bowl by my side

[sophie531896273240810891]

i literally get what marie kondo was talking about now

[sophie531896273240810891]

bc everyone keeps requesting to see it filled :)

[lew-basnight]

I don’t know how long I’ve been here. Time seems to pass differently. But the place is cozy and private so I have no complaints. And whenever I’m hungry, I go outside with my bowl and walk down the hill to the shore. Sometimes the lake is made of soup. Sometimes it’s huge pasta noodles the size of barges. Sometimes it’s breakfast cereal. Sometimes it’s dumplings the size of great whales. I dip my little bowl and take a portion and carry it back up to the house.

Today I found a new bowl! In its center is a little hill with a little house. I will carry it down to the shore and fill it up, and whomever lives in that little house can have a tiny portion of my meal. I hope they have a nice bowl to put it in..

[ir0n-angel]

[i-say-ok]

ok! ♥️

[somerandomdudelmao]

You know what. I loved this page so much I colored it haha

[agentromanoffsir]

neocities guide - why you should build your own html website

do you miss the charm of the 90s/00s web where sites had actual personality instead of the same minimalistic theme? are you feeling drained by social media and the constant corporate monopoly of your data and time? do you want to be excited about the internet again? try neocities!!

what is neocities?

neocities is a free hosting website that lets you build your own html website from scratch, with total creative control. in their own words: "we are tired of living in an online world where people are isolated from each other on boring, generic social networks that don't let us truly express ourselves. it's time we took back our personalities from these sterilized, lifeless, monetized, data mined, monitored addiction machines and let our creativity flourish again."

why should I make my own website?

web3 has been overtaken by capitalism & conformity. websites that once were meant to be fun online social spaces now exist solely to steal your data and sell you things. it sucks!! building a personal site is a great way to express yourself and take control of your online experience.

what would I even put on a website?

the best part about making your own site is that you can do literally whatever the hell you want! focus on a specific subject or make it a wild collection of all your interests. share your art! make a shrine for one of your interests! post a picture of every bird you see when you step outside! make a collection of your favorite blinkies! the world is your oyster !! here are some cool example sites to inspire you: recently updated neocities sites | it can be fun to just look through these and browse people's content! space bar | local interstellar dive bar creature feature | halloween & monsters big gulp supreme peanutbuttaz | personal site dragodiluna linwood | personal site patho grove | personal site

getting started: neocities/html guide

sound interesting? here are some guides to help you get started, especially if you aren't familiar with html/css sadgrl.online webmastery | a fantastic resource for getting started with html & web revival. also has a layout builder that you can use to start with in case starting from scratch is too intimidating web design in 4 minutes | good for learning coding basics w3schools | html tutorials templaterr | demo & html for basic web elements eggramen test pages | css page templates to get started with sadgrl background tiles | bg tiles rivendell background tiles | more free bg tiles

fun stuff to add to your site

want your site to be cool? here's some fun stuff that i've found blinkies-cafe | fantastic blinkie maker! (run by @transbro & @graphics-cafe) gificities | internet archive of 90s/00s web gifs internet bumper stickers | web bumper stickers momg | gif gallery 99 gif shop | 3d gifs 123 guestbook | add a guestbook for people to leave messages cbox | add a live chat box moon phases | track the phases of the moon gifypet | a little clickable page pet adopt a shroom | mushroom page pet tamaNOTchi | virtual pet crossword puzzle | daily crossword imood | track your mood neko | cute cat that chases your mouse pollcode | custom poll maker website hit counter | track how many visitors you have

web revival manifestos & communities

also, there's actually a pretty cool community of people out there who want to bring joy back to the web! melonland project | web project/community celebrating individual & joyful online experiences. Also has an online forum melonland intro to web revival | what is web revival? melonking manifesto | status cafe | share your current status nightfall city | online community onio.cafe | leave a message and enjoy the ambiance sadgrl internet manifesto | yesterweb internet manifesto | sadly defunct, still a great resource reclaiming online social spaces | great manifesto on cultivating your online experience

in conclusion

i want everyone to make a neocities site because it's fun af and i love seeing everyone's weird personal sites that they made outside of the control of capitalism :) say hi to me on neocities