Begin.

Sixes / ageless (20s) / crippled, mentally ill & autistic / will fight the world / one sixth / artist, writer / ♥ If you're under 18 you need to leave. ♥

[durbikins]

Counter Strike: Global Offensive

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

this guys videos are fucking incredible i really want everyone to watch them

[seelcudoom]

this man is like midas but with knives instead of gold, he can make anything a knife, sicssor knives ,ice knives, cardboard knives, tiny knives if it can be made into a knife he will do it, and if he cant, he will do it anyway because fuck you

[webbut]

This doesn’t even have the best one. One time he made a knife out of ravioli then proceeded to use the knife made out of ravioli to cut up cheese and tomatoes and basil and shit then took the ravioli knife that he had used to cut up his other ingredients and cooked said knife with those ingredients and ate the fucking knife!

[feedmecomicart]

ate the fucking knife

[darkbookworm13-deactivated20240]

[karpad]

nah, his best one? he made a knife out of smoke.

You know how to sharpen smoke? this guy does.

[synthicyde]

Let’s not forget everything else in his videos.

The googly eyes he puts on things

His cow jugs

The empty fridge that only contains Jack Daniels Chocolate

That one time a bear figurine possessed with a demon would attack him if he didn’t pet it so he had to build a machine that constantly rolled the bear against brushes so he would be safe long enough to finish the knife

[snakesenpai]

I don’t know why but I feel like you guys will enjoy this story.

When I was a teenager, I got really fed up with people asking me what my plans were for school and where I wanted to go to college. It was relentless at every family gathering, and my family is all pretty well off, making it a bit anxiety-inducing. So I made one up. I just invented a college. I wasn’t trying to fool anyone, I just wanted people to stop asking about it, so I gave it an absolutely ridiculous name; “The Velociraptor Institute of Chicago” - worth mentioning that I lived nowhere near Chicago at the time.

This evolved into a rather large joke between my aunt and I. We would occasionally hang up “school fliers” in my room - one of which being an “X Days Since Last Dinosaur Related Incident” and making bad “school sweaters”.

One day, I decided that it would be hilarious if my all-too-boring voicemail message was something related to the reptilian fallacy.

I went to Google Translate, English to English, and typed out a message from the school staff, something along the lines of; “Hello. You have reached the Velociraptor Institute of Chicago. None of our operators are available at the moment due to dinosaur related incidents. Please remain calm. This is not an emergency. Leave your name and number and we will return your call shortly.”

This was a hit among my aunt and any friends or relatives that happened to call, but as most jokes do, it faded out into the back of my head eventually. I don’t really like phone calls so I essentially forgot about it completely.

Until I received my first voicemail from a potential job interviewer.

[kaijutegu]

goddamn i am at the WRONG chicago grad school

[skeletonpee]

[sparrowlucero]

“You still think about those stories that scared you when you were little, from time to time.” (Instagram)

[animatedtext]

requested by nectarine5

[mioree]

✧Instagram: http://instagram.com/mioree_ ✧Livestream: http://twitch.tv/mioree

[pukicho]

I hope everyone is having a fucking day

[pukicho]

[flowercrownbi]

I don’t want to date. I just want to magically end up in a long-term and emotionally-secure relationship with someone cute

[unicornempire]

It can happen.

[mitaffenartigergeschwendigkeit]

[vintagegeekculture]

I don’t know the context for this, but it isn’t necessary. A more truthful ad has never been printed.

[earthstory]

Sea cow skeleton This large set of bones just unearthed in Siberia is the remnants of an organism known as a “Steller’s Sea Cow”. These organisms were huge, up to 10 meters long and weighing up to 10,000 kilograms. They were originally discovered living in the area of the Bering Sea, but they were slow, easily hunted, and a great source of food and oil. It took humans about 30 years to make the species go completely extinct once they were discovered. This sample, found on a Russian beach, is the only sample ever found with the bones still in place; every other example was broken up and stored. It is about 5 meters long, containing huge ribs that the person discovering it thought might be fenceposts at first. The specimen will be studied and put on display at Russia’s Komandorsky Nature Reserve. -JBB Image credit: Komandorsky Nature Reserve http://bit.ly/2mLTfX4 http://bit.ly/2hNF26Y References: https://www.britannica.com/animal/sea-cow

[c4tto626]

“omg you can’t play video games on easy mode!!”

listen if i wanted to struggle with some dumb task and fail a dozen times for bullshit reasons only to get some underwhelming reward once i finally get it right i would just live my actual life and not play video games smh

pls love urself

[greenhat97]

Oh and if you want to play something like Dark Souls? Don’t feel bad for using guides or looking up walkthroughs. I’ve done that to find specific items, or when something is so bullshit and obscure that I need help for it (I’m pretty damn good at it, too.) 

And guess what? My experience didn’t diminish at all. If anything it helped me. 

[luxwing]

Use guides. Use cheats. Use item duplication glitches. Clip through the floor going 30 miles a second. Just have fun

[cr-mango]

[witchesgetsixes]

Have fun.

I also have a piece of advice for any potential game devs out there: stop using infantalising or condescending language when you're referring to the easier game mode/s. I get it, you wanna be edgy, but putting people down for wanting to experience your game at a less-intense level is NOT okay, and NOT the way to go about it.

Maybe, just maybe, I wanna have a jaunt through your game without stressing and actually SEE THE WORK YOU'VE DONE. You put in the hard yards, don't put me off it by calling it baby mode!!!

[markv5]

Подстава

[a-cat]

this is not a helpful translation, google.

[a-cat]

oh

[viohra]

Now this is a Russian culture lesson

[yourplayersaidwhat]

DM: As you go to leave the inn, the door opens before you, and a woman enters through. She seems very distraught, and is crying.

Wizard: I ask her what the matter is.

DM: She explains to you that about a week ago, her boyfriend was out in the forest, before he was seemingly taken by monsters.

Wizard: Well, can we he-

Bard (Me): I roll to seduce her.

Rogue: She has a boyfriend!

DM: Roll for Persuasion.

*Nat 20*

Bard: You don’t need no man.

DM: The woman realizes that, indeed, she doesn’t need a man when there’s a woman as…beautiful as you before her. So, you…have a girlfriend now, I suppose.

Bard: Score.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

A Feat Of Strength

For context: Our party, comprised of a dragonborn ranger, a halfling cleric (me), and an elven wizard, had just reached a market of some kind. I tripped on a roll of fabric, and this is what ensued.

Ranger: I see her trip and I immediately reach to help her up– can I roll to help her up?

DM: Alright, sure, roll a strength check.

Ranger: So that’s a 20–

DM (struggling not to laugh): Al– Alright, so, you… you grab her arm, and because she’s a HALFLING and you rolled a 20- you grab her arm, and you essentially send her fucking FLYING into a- a cart behind you, taking one point of damage.

Ranger: I’M ROLLING TO HELP HER, NOT KILL HER!

[yourplayersaidwhat]

I HAVE TEN MINUTES TO INTERROGATE THESE CATS!

- Didani, the party’s chaotic-neutral tiefling Druid. (via yourplayersaidwhat)

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Well That Was Awkward

Our Goblin Player: “And I give (Our Human Cleric) a pat on the back for a job well done, but i’m short, soooooo….”

Me, The DM, Sighing Heavily: “…Roll for Spank….”

Long story short, it was a nat 1, and the least sexy spank anyone had ever been a part of.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Gunslinger: I’m just saying. One out of every three dwarves is named Urist. Warlock: That’s how you pronounce it? I always pronounced it Hans. Gunslinger: How the Hell did you get Hans out of Urist?! Fighter: You ask him nicely?