Thinking about Thimble, communication, body language, and her experience of physical touch.
Thimble nearly dies in a floor vent; Teor very gently heals her with the tip of a claw, holds her in his paw as Occtis tells her that Thjazi is dead.
Thimble lights on Occtis' shoulder and he strokes her head soothingly with one finger, without looking.
Thimble tends to Thjazi's corpse after the funeral. Combing his beard, smoothing down his collar, rearranging his hair. Spreading fairy dust over his face and hands and throat. Organizing flowers and snacks and trinkets around him, tucking a few away for herself. Unable to speak her goodbyes.
Tyranny offering Thimble one of her fuzzy goat ears to nap in. Thimble concerned that Tyranny might eat her, until she realizes they have the same Industrial piercing. Cosmetic, recreational pain as a bonding experience.
Thimble after killing several Seremai, refusing to land in Wicander's hand to be healed. Later agreeing to be licked from toe to crown by a Hound of the King.
Thimble, newly human sized, with the strength of a giant, running alone down a mountain in the darkening evening. Running for her life from Obrimus Manor, across the length of Dol Makjar, alone with her grief and guilt, stronger than she's ever been. Thaz dead, and she still blames herself. Casimir dead, because he earned it and she was the only one who could follow through. Occtis dead, but not dead, going through something she can't comprehend while she can't keep both eyes on him. Cyd and Teor dead, and she blames herself for distracting them, so she carries them on her shoulders so they won't be made monsters by the Tachonis. It's the only thing she can do for them, after all they've done for her.
And when she arrives at the Fang home, all of her friends seem so small now. She can look each of them in both their eyes. She's on their level now. They feel like strangers, and she comes bearing death and death and death, mislaid gear, a shard of information.
And when Thimble goes to Occtis, she can put her arms around all of him. It's the first time she's been able to embrace someone like this, and she's embracing a corpse. She's been human sized for less than three hours, and she's only touched dead things. Welcomed into her power with all the things that are anathema to Faerie. Occtis is different than other dead things, though, and she hugs him without hesitation.
And he is cold, but he is sobbing with relief, not despair. He doesn't ask her: what happened? what next? how do we carry on? he asks her, amazed, exhausted: why are you big? What is this bizarre, wonderful thing that's happened among so many miserable, fucked up things?
And she doesn't know, but not knowing doesn't hurt. He smiles, and it's like seeing him smile for the first time, because she's never seen him from this angle before.
And they laugh in the eye of the storm, just a little. It's strange and uncanny and beyond their understanding, but they have each other.
