i love how everyone collectively decided that when venom hugs eddie he goes "EDDIE!" in fanart, its a dumb detail and i love him, venom has one braincell and it has made a eddie shrine.
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@witchynek0
i love how everyone collectively decided that when venom hugs eddie he goes "EDDIE!" in fanart, its a dumb detail and i love him, venom has one braincell and it has made a eddie shrine.
I need everyone to STICK WITH ME ON THIS ONE
In an alternate universe:
Ilya Rozanov: Marley I have something really important to tell you. I have hidden a secret about myself for a long time. You are one of my closest friends, and I hope that knowing this doesn’t change anything…I’m bisexual
Cliff Marlow: (visibly confused) yeah…I know that???
Ilya: what? How did you know???
Marlow: Dude you don’t exactly hide it
Ilya: What are you talking about????
Marlow: yeah dude you speak Russian all the time. You have an accent. It’s not that crazy
Ilya:…
Marlow:…
Ilya:…
Marlow:…
Ilya: THAT IS BILINGUAL YOU IDIOT-
This idiot used the 10 year old sewing machine to make a really shitty pencil case AND I DONT EVEN CARE HOW SHIT IT IS
Now this idiot has to find out how to sew in a zipper without a zipper foot? Uhm
It stands
I'm just gonna say shit that I'm thinking and u can say in wrong but also I've seen so many post at this point I'm tired of the topic, so correct mw all u want but I'm not here to ask for a lecture on what's right and wrong. I'm just voicing my opinion and dealing with what happens After.
The whole which trans has it worse debate is stupid. Can we all agree we have it shit, no matter what race, disability, assigned gender at birth or whatever. We all collectively have issues on different aspects of being trans. Doesn't matter who has it worse we all collectively have it bad.
And if you're about to write a comment saying "transfems have it worse because..."
Or "trans masc have it worse because"
OR EVEN IF YOURE ABOUT TO SAY WHO HAS IT BETTER! shut up.
Stop tapping about what makes one better than the other, if you have a issue with how you're being treated for being trans, either grow a backbone or stop whining.
Again! This is my opinion. U dont have to agree with it. Don't come whining in my comments or reposts about it though.
We can absolutely discuss the topic, in a respectful and kind manner.
I do think that Shane gets a Russian language tutor. He sees that Ilya is always having to think, speak, and translate in his second language. And he knows that Ilya is fluent by this point, but if he's serious about forever with Ilya (which he is) he wants Ilya to be able to communicate with his boyfriend in his native language. He also saw how much his grandparents struggled with learning English as adults and how much more expressive and talkative they were when they spoke Japanese at home together.
So he gets a tutor. He meticulously researches her (she's from Moscow, so he'll learn from someone with Ilya's same accent). She's signed to more NDAs than he can count. She has 10 years of experience, she's certified to teach English and Russian, and she has 4.8 stars on MyTutor.
Shane pays her a frankly concerning amount of money to make house calls. Twice weekly, unless he's on the road, she arrives at his apartment to teach him foundational Russian. She gives him workbooks, Russia cartoon recommendation, podcasts for beginners, etc. He tells her he's learning because his boyfriend is Russian and she outlines a course that focuses on domestic language first (as opposed to travel or business). She even teaches him what she calls a 'culture course' with lessons on Russian music, food, and various traditions.
She's only a few years older than Shane and he actually finds himself looking forward to her visits. At this point, she's the only person other than his parents that knows he has a boyfriend.
About 4 months in, Shane finally feels comfortable enough to ask about what he'd been very excited about learning.
"You want me to teach you how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?" Ekaterina raised an eyebrow.
"Um," Shane blushed. Was this a little too far? Was this inappropriate to ask of a tutor? "Yes? If - If that's okay, I mean."
A slow smirk spread over her face. "This will be fun. Fun for me, now. Fun for you, later."
"I made a list," Shane admitted. He wasn't going to back out now, he put a lot of thought into his list. He turned to it in his Russian notebook and handed it to her.
She scanned over it indifferently. "You will use all this in one night?"
"Yeah, probably. Is it too much?"
"It is good you have a Russian man," Ekaterina said. "They have good stamina. Mostly, anyway."
And while it was a little embarrassing for Ekaterina to correct his pronunciation of please let me suck your cock, it helped that she seemed just as comfortable with that as there is tea on the stove.
Though, maybe he shouldn't have learned those phrases at the same time, because Ilya will never, for as long as they live, allow him to forget asking, while down on his knees and with excellent pronunciation, please let me suck your tea.
shanebug sightings
nothinggg is more ilya than the tampa hotel room sequence where shane comes out, ilya acts like a dick while keeping himself physically as far from shane as possible, shane gets his feelings hurt and starts looking a little chin-wobbly, and ilya audibly GROANS and flings himself across the room to sit next to him on the bed. but he’s still not looking at shane or touching him because ilya is NOT here to comfort him or anything ok he just randomly and totally unrelatedly got tired of standing up at the exact moment that shane’s big brown eyes started getting all wet and shiny with tears and the nearest place to sit down happened to be on the bed next to shane. do NOT read anything into this none of this means ANYTHING (in under two minutes he will be crying in shane’s arms btw)
Some random corner of the internet is being parasocial and calling Hollanov a PR marriage and a random person is like "my cousin's cousin's girlfriend used to clean their house in Ottawa. Definitely not a PR marriage. Apparently they go through a lot of couch cushions and bedframes."
New headcanon that even though Shane is a millionaire, his parents still technically pay his phone bill because it's cheaper on the family plan and it's a pain to change phone plans and deal with phone companies and the plan they're on has good coverage in Canada and the US without roaming charges so it's just more convenient to stay on his parents' plan.
They insist he doesn't need to pay them back, it's only like $40/month, and it's only a drop in the bucket compared to the money Shane's spent on them so Shane lets it go. When Ilya gets settled in Canada, the Hollanders find out he's paying like $200/month for some fuck-ass phone plan he picked out at 18, so he gets added to the Hollander family phone plan too.
Shane has a reputation of being intelligent, not just bc of his hockey IQ and studious manner, but because of his taste in movies. Hollander's watched a lot of art house films, indie films, foreign films, European films. You know, classy stuff. He's seen everything, though- big budget Marvel, direct to video/streaming, all the mainstream movies, too, but also a ton of ones a lot of his teammates never bothered with. Everyone thinks Shane only eats and breathes hockey, but his teammates know he's also a film aficionado, and he's always their ringer for trivia nights. It's just another weird Hollander quirk... Shane never admits to himself why he started getting into those kinds of films as a teen... at least not for a while.
They all frequently featured hot, naked guys with accents who made out. Gaspard Ulliel, Louis Garrel, Pierre Perrier, Daniel Bruhl, David Kross, Diego Luna, Gael Garcia Bernal, Henry Cavill, Charlie Hunnam...
When he and Ilya start talking about their favorite movies and they watch some of Shane's favorites together... Ilya immediately clocks his shit. And is very amused. Shane's a little embarrassed. But then he gets naked with his hot boyfriend with an accent and they make out.
Fat 3 year old baby Shane got a phase where he called his parents by their names. Mommy and daddy? No. It was Yuna and David.
“Yuna, can you give me my blankie pwease?” He says as he looks up at his mother with his big doe tired eyes when he wants a nap.
“David! Did you hear that!?” He says with a very excited grin and adorable wide eyes. “It´s a loon! David it is a loon!” He repeats again as he jumps around happily, one hand holding a box of apple juice.
I know it's fun in fics but I truly don't think Shane/Ilya would be that open about their sex lives in the Centaurs group chat, they'd really want to keep it professional, but I do think it would take the Cens like half a season to notice that they often both went radio silent in the chat at the same time or disappear from a party at the same time. So the joke is that they're leaving to have sex. They're not texting back because they're having sex. But it's really not serious, they're probably just having lunch without their phones or watching Netflix in the hotel room. Like yeah it's funny to wiggle their eyebrows suggestively when Shane/Ilya come back from the bathroom together but obviously they weren't hooking up in the bathroom, that would be unhinged.
Except, you know, they definitely fucking are.
wait all this talk about a hypothetical Scott and Kip divorce got me thinking…
Imagine Scott’s at an all star game, drunk off his ass at the bar. Shane walks in and leans on the bar and Scott notices that Shane’s not wearing his wedding ring. Shane always wears his ring off the ice, there have been fucking articles about how Ilya wears his on a chain and Shane doesn’t
Scott audibly sighs and Shane looks over at him. Scott’s too drunk not to say, “Fuck, sorry, I’m just so glad I’m not alone. When did it happen? It was the fucking media, right? That was part of it for us. All this pressure to be perfect. Who can live up to that?”
Shane’s like, “Uh. What?”
Scott’s like, “Sorry. Probably still fresh, huh? It is for me. I’m just glad I won’t be the only gay divorcé in the league. Hey maybe we could time our announcements so they come out at the same time? Soften the blow for each other? Or, no, that could get political fast” Scott keeps drunkenly rambling on
Shane’s just standing there, panicked, trying to figure out the best way to break the news that the only reason he’s not wearing his wedding ring is because it really breaks his immersion in their roleplay that he’s a random slut Ilya’s picking up at the bar
This would happen and then when Ilya walks in all suave orders a drink and stands around the corner of the bar and looks at Shane all sexy and you know. horny.
Shane spots him almost instantly and has to shake his head and shoo him away. Ilya very confused walks off, does Shane not like him anymore. what the hell happened?
Scott keeps going off. talking about how the media is brutal and the divorce was painful and he feels wrecked and sad. and Shane must too.
Hes trying to find a friend in Shane you know, and Shane very awkwardly comforts him.
When Shane comes home at like 4 am because Scott wouldn't shut up. Ilya ambushes him, almost grabbing his shoulders and asks " moya lyublov, why did you shoot me down at the bar? do you still love me? what happened?"
And Shane just sighs and goes "Scott was there, and because I wasn't wearing my ring he assumed we were getting divorced too, and he leaned on me" he moves through the hallway to take his coat off and kick his shoes off and walks to the couch. a habit he picked up from Ilya.
and Ilya's face fills with worry and gasps "oh no. hes going to tell everyone were getting divorced, I can feel it"
And Shane sighs and shakes his head "he won't, I dont think he's that dumb."
Cut to 3 months later and the tabloids are FILLED with the rumor that Shane and Ilya are getting divorced because a trusted informant and family friend of the Hollander-Rozanovs says they aren't wearing their rings anymore.
and Ilya and Shane have to come out being like "We don't wear them for fucking and role-play reasons please stop meddling in out private lives! This is really embarrassing."
and Ilya later comes out to say "If idiot Scott could take being called gay by the media like a real man I would still be able to do horny role-playing time in public but nooo! Etot mudak- has to ruin our normal privacy time."
I still think pregnancy and childbirth should be degendered. we stopped talking about that and I need us to pick it back up pls
One thing I've seen is that Adrian gets bigger and bigger in fanart. It's crazy how HUGE Adrian will be in some. And small in others. Lovely phenomenon, can't wait to see a bigger Adrian.
boring really gets ilya going
I've never laughed harder in my life