witchynek0

i write like im talking, so keep up

[witchynek0]

i love how everyone collectively decided that when venom hugs eddie he goes "EDDIE!" in fanart, its a dumb detail and i love him, venom has one braincell and it has made a eddie shrine.

[odyver]

alright I've got to do some quick math to explain attitudes towards AI to my boss.

we're looking to create an AI policy, and when we were talking about this, my boss (older millennial) was genuinely shocked to hear that younger people do not (seem) to view AI positively (a la the recent commencement speakers being booed)

please rb for larger sample size!

Question 1/3

What is your age, and do you feel AI is a net positive or net negative in our lives today?

under 18, AI is a net positive

under 18, AI is a net negative

18-29, AI is a net positive

18-29, AI is a net negative

30-45, AI is a net positive

30-45, AI is a net negative

46-60, AI is a net positive

46-60, AI is a net negative

over 60, AI is a net postive

over 60, AI is a net negative

Remaining time: 4 days 7 hours

[odyver]

Question 2/3

How often do you visit or interact with museums/archives (whether in person or online)?

Frequently (multiple times per month)

Often (multiple times per year)

Occasionally (a couple times per year)

Rarely (once every couple of years)

Never :(

Remaining time: 4 days 7 hours

[odyver]

Question 3/3

If you saw a museum was using AI in exhibits, marketing, research, etc., would you be more or less inclined to visit that museum?

under 18, more inclined

under 18, less inclined

18-29, more inclined

18-29, less inclined

30-45, more inclined

30-45, less inclined

46-60, more inclined

46-60, less inclined

over 60, more inclined

over 60, less inclined

Remaining time: 4 days 7 hours

Thank you for helping with this data collection. Please rb for as big a sample as possible!

🫶

[perlukafarinn]

The Centaurs are asked to do one of those sexy pin-up charity calendars and a photographer gets brought in to take the pictures.

The guys are goofing around, sitting in on each other's sessions and making jokes, and generally being a pain in the ass. The photographer has just about run out of patience when finally it's Shane's turn.

Shane, consummate professional that he is, locks in. It's a little bit embarrassing to be doing this in front of the guys, sure, but he's got a decade's experience here. He can easily compartmentalize.

The photographer is ecstatic that someone is finally taking this seriously! It doesn't even matter that the room his filled with hockey players wolf whistling and shouting "Looking good, Hollzy!" because Shane hits every pose and makes every adjustment and is generally just a dream to work with. (It also doesn't hurt that he's so easy on the eyes.)

Ilya finds the whole thing fun at first but his expression is stormy by the end and when Shane finally gets cleared to leave the set, he's positively pouting.

"What's the matter?" Shane asks quietly as soon as they're in the hallway.

"You liked that?" Ilya asks. "Taking his directions?"

Shane rolls his eyes. He can't believe he thought something was seriously wrong. "Oh my god, you're ridiculous."

"Is a simple question!"

"I was just doing my job. It's not like I was having fun."

"Could have fooled me," Ilya mutters bitterly. "You were being very good for him, doing whatever he told you."

Shane's cheeks go hot, a Pavlovian reaction to Ilya telling him he's good even though it's wrapped up in the pettiest, most stupid accusation.

"You know I've done this like a hundred times, right? There is nothing special about this specific photographer."

Ilya's eyebrows rise. "You would go to your knees for any man who asked you, as long as he's holding a camera?"

Maybe there had been a pose or two involving Shane on his knees. That doesn't make this tantrum of Ilya's any less stupid- although looking at him now, Shane's not sure if he's still just pissed or if he's talked himself around into being horny about it, too. Ilya does have a tendency to do that.

Shane really shouldn't be encouraging this. But then again, "Why don't you take me home and try it?"

Ilya curses under his breath, then grabs Shane's hand and practically drags him out to the car.

[natnormalatall]

roald dahl was antisemitic and misogynistic. george orwell was openly homophobic. edgar allan poe married his 13 year old cousin. dr seuss cheated on his wife (and was racist as well as antisemitic!). hp lovecraft was racist as fuck. anyways they’re fucking dead it’s not like you’re enabling their behaviors in the afterlife or something. then again I think they bleed into the books so uh keep an eye out for that

the difference between these old white guys and jk rowling is that the former group is all dead. jk rowling is alive and using your money to oppress trans people

[mellointheory]

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

[the-haiku-bot]

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[mellointheory]

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

[the-haiku-bot]

My voice repeats what

you all say: I love you I

love you I love you.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[solkorolevaa]

[thenewborndeity]

This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.

[silestra7]

THE HAIKU BOT AWAKENS

[big-smiling-monkey]

IT HAS BEGUN

[shitter]

absolute gold on Reddit today

[human-pet-they]

when the author describes someone dying and you can just tell they’ve never actually died by the way it’s written

[lexicanons]

Ilya’s doctor warns him that antidepressants often decrease sex drive but after eight weeks of taking the meds, the opposite has happened. His sex drive has dramatically increased. He’s horny all the time, and he’s constantly thinking about fucking Shane. It’s pretty much the only thing he thinks about. It’s the off-season, and they’re at the cottage, so he has mostly uninterrupted access to Shane and can fuck him around the clock, but he knows he can’t go on like this. They were having dinner with Yuna and David the other night and he almost bent Shane over the dining room table while his in-laws where in the kitchen. Ilya was horrified when he got hard from Shane placing a piece of garlic bread on his plate, and had to lie about being too full to move from the table so he had time to will his erection away before his in-laws saw it. He has to figure this out before the season starts or he might bend Shane over and fuck him in front of everyone in the locker room. He goes back to the doctor and tells them his symptoms, and they switch him to another medicine. Ilya tells Shane about the medication switch and he swears he sees a brief flash of disappointment on Shane’s face.

[witchynek0]

Something I just thought of

Shane Hollander is the picture of healthy eating habits. If he's understimulated he takes a piece of gum and if he needs a little snack he eats one. He never overeats and in fact after a first plate of food will sit for 20 minutes to see if he'll be hungry some more.

Ilya was raised in a "if you do t finish your plate you don't get to go to bed" household. And he has slept at the dining table some nights. Especially after his mother passed away. After he became a teen, food became a sort of rebellion, the more junk the food was the better, because at home his diet would be restricted again. So in Canada and America he overeats so much he kinda feels sick.

So when Ilya sees that Shane just has this genuine balance with eating even when away from Yuna it throws him a little. And on the contrary Shane is a little worried for Ilya as he scarfs down his McDonald's like there is no tommorow. But most importantly Shane never makes Ilya feel bad about it and just gently reminds him to pace himself. Slowly Ilya heals a little, and Shane eats a little more junk food.

[gaynehollander]

Ilya buys Shane a bottle of cologne during the situationship era. He doesn't admit that, of course. He would never admit to how long he spent spritzing scent strips, the long conversation he had with the sales associate about top notes, heart notes, and base notes, the amount of money he spent on that one bottle. He tells Shane it was part of some endorsement he did but that he thinks the scent doesn't really fit him; that it would work better on Shane. He convinces Shane to let him try it on him and the open desire, the hunger in Rozanov's eyes makes the world feel like it's tilted ever so slightly on its axis, like Shane's balance is a little bit off. He fucks him with an animalistic sense of urgency, nose buried in the crook of Shane's neck when he comes, teeth clamping down on the muscle of Shane's shoulder. Honestly, Shane is pretty sure he would have heard about any cologne brand deals Rozanov has but decides not to question it; he accepts the bottle anyway. He starts wearing it every day and the thrill of secretly wearing Rozanov's mark on him while going about his everyday life is nearly overwhelming. It feels like ownership and Shane doesn't know what to do with how much he loves that. Every time he meets up with Rozanov, he can see the exact moment he smells it on him and delights in how it drives him wild every time.

He starts rationing it more carefully when he sees the contents of the bottle dwindling. He dreads the day he will find it empty. Sure, he could buy another bottle but it wouldn't feel the same. It would feel like a poor imitation of the mark he's been proudly wearing in secret, right under everyone's noses.

The first time he meets up with Rozanov without wearing it, the reception is cold. He can feel the anger simmering under every word. He doesn't address it until he's pushed Shane to his absolute limits and it comes out in mean and harsh and accusatory comments that try to cover up how affected he is by Shane not wearing it; the worries about what it means that he's stopped. Shane is far enough gone by then that he admits he's been saving it; that he's close to running out. It comes out in oversensitive whimpers and half-swallowed whines as Rozanov's punishing thrusts punch the pathetic confession out of him. They don't discuss it further but, after that, Rozanov starts gifting him colognes with increased frequency.

By the time they're in a relationship, Shane has a whole shelf in his bathroom dedicated to his extensive collection. Whenever they go anywhere, Ilya will select a scent for Shane to wear. He will lovingly spritz him with it, breathing him in before they leave, and Shane preens under the attention. He can see it in Ilya's eyes, every time he catches a whiff of it, he can feel it in the way his arm tightens around Shane's waist. The quiet mark of ownership that lingers on Shane's skin without anyone else knowing that he bears Ilya's brand at his pulse points.

[argillaforma]

when they come out and everyone is confused why russia's greatest love machine ilya rozanov is fucking boring shane hollander and ilya is like no no he is perverted sex freak i am the boring one honestly i can't keep up marleau

[jewelcoatfish]

shane hollander likes to fidget, but he hates wearing any jewellery except for his wedding ring and he doesn’t like carrying around fidget toys. but do you know who doesn’t mind wearing lots and lots of jewellery? his husband!

his husband not only doesn’t mind but also actively find fidget rings and bracelets for shane to play with whenever he wants to, and when shane’s nervous in a crowded setting he just starts playing with his husband’s ring. and no one thinks much of it because they’re already codependentmaxxing what else is new.

[gaynehollander]

Ilya buys Shane a bottle of cologne during the situationship era. He doesn't admit that, of course. He would never admit to how long he spent spritzing scent strips, the long conversation he had with the sales associate about top notes, heart notes, and base notes, the amount of money he spent on that one bottle. He tells Shane it was part of some endorsement he did but that he thinks the scent doesn't really fit him; that it would work better on Shane. He convinces Shane to let him try it on him and the open desire, the hunger in Rozanov's eyes makes the world feel like it's tilted ever so slightly on its axis, like Shane's balance is a little bit off. He fucks him with an animalistic sense of urgency, nose buried in the crook of Shane's neck when he comes, teeth clamping down on the muscle of Shane's shoulder. Honestly, Shane is pretty sure he would have heard about any cologne brand deals Rozanov has but decides not to question it; he accepts the bottle anyway. He starts wearing it every day and the thrill of secretly wearing Rozanov's mark on him while going about his everyday life is nearly overwhelming. It feels like ownership and Shane doesn't know what to do with how much he loves that. Every time he meets up with Rozanov, he can see the exact moment he smells it on him and delights in how it drives him wild every time.

He starts rationing it more carefully when he sees the contents of the bottle dwindling. He dreads the day he will find it empty. Sure, he could buy another bottle but it wouldn't feel the same. It would feel like a poor imitation of the mark he's been proudly wearing in secret, right under everyone's noses.

The first time he meets up with Rozanov without wearing it, the reception is cold. He can feel the anger simmering under every word. He doesn't address it until he's pushed Shane to his absolute limits and it comes out in mean and harsh and accusatory comments that try to cover up how affected he is by Shane not wearing it; the worries about what it means that he's stopped. Shane is far enough gone by then that he admits he's been saving it; that he's close to running out. It comes out in oversensitive whimpers and half-swallowed whines as Rozanov's punishing thrusts punch the pathetic confession out of him. They don't discuss it further but, after that, Rozanov starts gifting him colognes with increased frequency.

By the time they're in a relationship, Shane has a whole shelf in his bathroom dedicated to his extensive collection. Whenever they go anywhere, Ilya will select a scent for Shane to wear. He will lovingly spritz him with it, breathing him in before they leave, and Shane preens under the attention. He can see it in Ilya's eyes, every time he catches a whiff of it, he can feel it in the way his arm tightens around Shane's waist. The quiet mark of ownership that lingers on Shane's skin without anyone else knowing that he bears Ilya's brand at his pulse points.

[my-2nd-account]

One night after a tough game, JJ convinces Shane to go to a bar with the rest of the team. He tried to turn him down bc he's beat and just wants to go to his hotel room and get some sleep before an early flight tomorrow, but JJ had already anticipated this and got Hayden in on it so he wouldn't let Shane into the room. They end up going to the nearest bar they find "Come on Cap just an hour or two and we'll let you go it's right around the corner" and said bar happens to have a mechanical bull riding machine (no clue where these exist in Canada just dw bout it). Shane's competitive ass sees everyone there including his teammates fail miserably, so he decides to give it a shot to show them how it's done. Everyone is like haha until my boy is up there and lo and behold Captain Hollander is... really fucking good at bull riding? They all know Shane never half asses anything in his life but where the fuck did he learn to ride like this!? And Shane deadpans "It's about balance and relaxing your hips to move in rhythm with the movement instead of fighting it" and everyone's like ok sure??? Anyways, someone in the bar is a hockey fan and recognizes Shane and takes a video of him bull riding. In less than 15 minutes the clip is blasted all over social media and everyone is collectively losing their shit over Hollander wearing a backwards cap moving his hips in a way no human should be allowed to and riding like his life depends on it under dim sexy red lighting.

Cut to Ilya Rozanov hundreds of miles away up at 3 in the morning almost breaking his phone screen from how hard he's gripping it after replaying the 7 second clip for the 200th time and he's never been more hard in his life.

And he's the only one who knows where Shane Hollander learned to ride.

#not his first rodeo

[gaynehollander]

Shane slips so easily into subspace that it's honestly a bit of a problem. Sometimes all it takes is a firm kiss and a pat to the cheek and Ilya can already see Shane drifting a little. You can see it in the bathroom in Vegas, how he almost let himself go, how he had to pull himself back when Ilya left the room. And that was early on in the situationship era. As his trust in Ilya grows and he starts letting him shoulder more of the weight Shane is constantly lugging around through the sheer effort of being himself, it only gets easier and easier for him to go to that floaty place where he doesn't have to worry about anything but doing exactly as Ilya wants.

Luckily, Ilya has grown incredibly good at spotting the first signs of Shane slipping - kind of by ill necessity. He has had to pull him back in a crowded bar after a deep kiss, when Shane was a little too tipsy to keep his defences up; in a hotel lobby when their check-in was delayed and Shane was so tired that a single hand pressed to the back of his neck, firmly digging into the knots there, nearly put him under; in several public bathrooms they'd retreated to in order to escape the crowds, when Shane was already wrung out by socialising and having to be Shane Hollander.

It was honestly a little scary to Ilya when he first started noticing it. It was a little terrifying how much blind faith Shane had in him, how deeply he trusted him to take care of everything. Now he basks in it. Places his hands gently on either side of Shane's face and tells him, "not yet. Stay with me." And Shane does. Always so eager to obey. He keeps his head above water, doesn't let himself get dragged down, purely because Ilya said not to. And when they get back home, whether that is their actual home or whichever hotel they are currently staying at, Ilya rewards him by allowing him to let go. Revels in watching Shane's grip on his control slacken as he lets himself drift away, trusting that Ilya will be there to catch him.

[flower-of-the-desert]

Love thinking about an AU where the relationship reveal with Yuna and David happens because something overwhelms Shane into a panic attack/breakdown, maybe they're at some NHL show or event, maybe it's just been a really long fucking day, maybe suddenly Shane feels just completely overwhelmed by the lights and the noise and all the fucking people wanting to shake his hand or slap his back or tell him how much they like his fucking play.

Yuna notices something is wrong because of course she does and together with David they herd Shane into some private empty side room hoping it will help him calm down. But it doesn't. He wont stop shaking and his breathing is too fast and he flinches at their voices even tho nobody is speaking loudly. Won't let Yuna come close to hug him or rub his arm.

Maybe Yuna is starting to panic a little herself, her heart aching as she watches Shane wrap his own arms around himself, hates that she cant do anything when her son is so clearly in distress, hates that she can't seem to think of anything that will work-

When suddenly the door bangs open and Ilya Fucking Rozanov??? strides into the room with quick steps, makes a beeline directly for her son, eyes locked on him like he doesnt even register her and David in the room as well and Yuna opens her mouth to cuss him out, tell him to fuck off and not bother Shane right now, she can feel her body moving already to stand in front of Shane protectively when David grabs her arm because-

Because Rozanov is pulling Shane into his arms, one hand on the back of Shane's neck, guiding his head to press into the crook of Rozanov's neck and Shane isn't fighting it, doesn't flinch from his touch. He goes where Rozanov arranges him and let's himself be held and rocked back and forth gently as Rozanov presses his mouth to Shane's ear and starts whispering something so quietly that Yuna can't really make out the words but what she can see is Shane's shaking subsiding, hands fisting tightly into Rozanov's shirt, his breathing going slowly back to normal because - oh. oh - her son is syncing his breaths with Rozanov who, Yuna realises, is taking very exaggerated deep slow breaths of his own so Shane can match them. And then Rozanov turns slightly while still rocking them both back and forth and Yuna sees Shane's face where it's smushed into Rozanov's neck. Sees the look there.

And that's how Yuna realises her son is in love and the man - his years-long rival - he loves must have left in the middle of his award-winning show to come here and pull her son out of a panic attack like there was no place he'd rather be than right here with Yuna's overwhelmed panicked boy in his arms, soothing him until Shane's body relaxes completely into that hold, mumbling that he's fine yet not pulling away and Rozanov makes no move to let go either.

Oh, Yuna thinks again, gripping David's hand tightly. It's not just Shane. My baby is in love. And he's loved back.

[gaynehollander]

At some point after the cottage but before the public outing TMZ does an article on “Ilya Rozanov’s most high-profile hookups” which is essentially just a list of Instagram models with paparazzi shots and blurry cellphone pics of Ilya at the club. Shane scrolls through it, absolutely seething, because he is Ilya’s most high-profile hookup - maybe not by their metric, which seems to be Instagram followers, but Shane hasn’t heard about a single one of these women, apart from Svetlana whom he wouldn’t have recognised if not for Ilya talking about her. The guys are talking about it in the locker room, as if Ilya’s a legend for getting with all of these supposedly very desirable women (although that is decidedly not the way the guys phrase it) and Shane is absolutely furious because he can’t tell anyone that none of these women got to keep him. He is the only one who’s gotten to call Ilya his. He is the only person Ilya’s been in love with.

Anyway, after the next Boston/Montreal game Ilya shows up to practice genuinely looking like he’s been mauled. His entire body is covered in hickeys and bruises that look suspiciously like bite marks - his neck is basically covered in purpling marks with a fair few centred on his chest but a couple of the bruises trail further down, one on his pubic bone, a couple on his thighs, and the darkest one on his hip, a large circle of clear teeth marks - not only that but his back has been practically scratched to ribbons. Ilya is basically a walking sign spelling out “TAKEN - BACK OFF” and when the gossip of Ilya Rozanov apparently having been locked down by a wild animal reaches the Montreal locker room Shane can’t help the proud little smile that blooms on his face because, yes, that’s his man.