You are a good person. I can see it. I can feel it
But as corny as it sounds, i can’t trust you with my heart.
I want to tell you how I feel about you I want to scream it from the rooftops but my heart won’t let me actually feel these things yet because if I do and this goes unaddressed and this isn’t what I think it is, it’ll kill me.
You said something about you being a bad friend and it stuck with me.
I’m not saying I agree but I don’t think you know how to be a good one
When I wanted to be friends, you lowkey rejected me. I felt miserable I felt like I didn’t matter to you because to you I didn’t hold romantic feelings for you anymore. It hurt and it reminded me of the past and I told you about what they did but you still treated me like that. I moved past it for some reason- I don’t know why, maybe I’m a masochist or I liked you too much or I’m lonely or all of the above.
To me, you don’t know how to be a friend
It seems like you don’t care to try
Maybe the relationships you’ve had that didn’t work out because friendship is the baseline and you can’t comprehend that
You don’t know what to do with that
You don’t know how to be a friend
Maybe that’s why you go for the romantic stuff because that’s what you know
I don’t want you to care about me because you like me, want to kiss me, want to be with me
I want you to care about me because I’m a person. Because caring about me benefits you and it benefits me. And I can’t tell if that’s why you care
I can’t tell when you apologize if you’re genuine or not. If that’s just something you know I want to hear
I don’t care about you because I’m expecting something in return. I care about you because I want to. I care about because I love you. I love who you are, I love your mind, I love your feelings unhindered. This isn’t going to go away even if we never get together.
But the amount of what I’m putting out, showing you how much i care is being returned in empty words and it’s draining and I’m tired. I know I care too much for my own good and you don’t need to match it. But I don’t know if you’d show up for me and I don’t want to waste my time
You have so much going on and I hate adding this onto it. I really do. But I don’t want to get so far and then wonder where we went wrong
But I just don’t feel important to you
I’m sorry about just unloading this on you
I didn’t know I felt this way until this morning
I don’t know if you like me for the right reasons
Maybe that’s what you need time to think about
