Asmo, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?
Mammon: It means like in hand-to-hand combat.
Asmo: Ohhhh-
Barbatos: Both of you get out of this kitchen.
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@wolf1594
Asmo, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?
Mammon: It means like in hand-to-hand combat.
Asmo: Ohhhh-
Barbatos: Both of you get out of this kitchen.
req’d by @becauseannabeth
sigh…. I’ll fire up the petition site
text: Which idiot called it Curling when Ice Rockey was right there?
i would legit listen to a whole album of ambient music made like this
I want the purrs and mews included
“are you wearing th-“
“the chanel boots? yeah, i am.”
hey do you guys know about the uncomfortably horny BDSM song cut from Disney’s Aladdin
no but I wanna
it’s called “Humiliate The Boy” and it’s just line after line of Jafar making it Weird™️
including the very real lyrics “oh, we’ll emasculate him slowly/all the better to enjoy/how delicious to humiliate the boy”
Disney why
Disney I can’t kinkshame fast enough to keep up with this shit
after learning Ursula’s character design was based on a (truly splendid) drag queen, I just sort of got lazy with assuming she would always be the most salacious disney villain.
but apparently Jafar is a dom with a thing for twinks & humiliation play so what do i know
I don’t think I’d call Ursula especially salacious–she makes jokes implying that men only want sex, and she moves like a theatre major at the grocery store with their friends, but I wouldn’t describe her as horny.
I guess Frollo has a whole song about how horny he is, and both Gaston and Jafar also have “marry the heroine but in an evil way” as motives.
Ursula is comfortable in her sexuality. Frollo is horny on main but trying to deny it. Gaston and, apparently, Jafar are horny period, with Gaston being mysoginistc and Jafar having a humiliation kink
Oh dear
ok someone do an alignment chart
I made an alignment chart because I needed something to occupy my time. no one but frollo is on the “conflicted” bar because no other disney villain is anything but 100% comfortable with their sexuality and that’s that about that. gaston is evilly sexy, not evilly horny, because the only person gaston is horny for is gaston.
also, did we NOT already know jafar was kinky? was the slave girl outfit and hypnokink not a huge giveaway?
I love tumblr coz where else would I read a serious analysis of Disney villains in terms of them being sexy/kinky/horny while listening to a very disturbing kinky Jafar song
someone replace “but conflicted” with “but a creep” and add scar and hades
Perfect
#the real reason i’ll stay forever on this godforsaken website#truly groundbreaking analysis just like this @fiddleabout
I laughed too hard NOT to share this. I don’t even care
there is no final version of yourself. we never stop growing or changing, nor should we. stop beating yourself up for not being ‘there’ yet.
The final version of yourself is the one you die in I think
Oh, well I don’t know how it works with you mortals
fun fact! this quote has gotten popular on twitter, where no one has any idea it’s from a tumblr shitpost, or of the horrors that lurk in the original notes
twitter comments:
tumblr comments:
Twitter: This is so deep.
Tumblr: Only about six feet.
i wonder if i will still use tumblr in 5 years
The (un)funny thing about this (seven year old) post is that seven years ago the internet was such that one could reasonably imagine that in 5 years there would be other, better platforms that would make tumblr sort of outdated and cringy. Now the alternatives to tumblr are Corporations Spying On You, Absolute Hellhole Of Discourse Over Tumblr Screenshots, Corporations Spying On You, Tumblr Posts But In Video Form While Corporations And The Chinese Government Spy On You, That Platform You Signed On After The Titty Ban Spread Mass Panic And You Never Used Since, and reddit
Ooh ooh ooh! This looks like an excellent excuse valid reason to talk about one of my favorite topics, matriarch trees!
So, when you see trees in a forest, they stick up outta the ground, some distance from each other, and you're like 'these are unconnected critters,' right? But! The thing is! Just like the trees in the picture are connected above-ground, trees in a forest are normally connected below-ground. There's this whole complicated thing involving a symbiotic relationship with fungi, but we're gonna simplify it to this: trees connect to each other through their root systems.
And they use it to share resources, across the whole forest.
If there's a tree over here growing in soil with a lot of, like, potassium, they'll pull up more potassium than they need, and send it out through the root system to other trees that are living where there isn't much potassium.
And one of the coolest things? Trees communicate their needs. If a tree is sick or damaged or starving, they send chemical messages out through the root system that tell the other trees to send them more food and tree-equivalent-of-immune-system.
Trees will share so much of their resources, they'll even keep trees alive that are almost entirely dependent. Like this tree! The tree above is getting some energy from its leaves, but no other nutrition of its own. And it wasn't able to link up to the shared root system. So the other tree reached out and hooked up to it directly, feeding it all of the nutrients it needed!
You see it more commonly the other way around: in an old-growth forest, where the roots are well-established, you can find stumps where a tree was cut down a century ago... but if you scrape the stump it's still green wood. The tree's still alive, without a single leaf. Because all the other trees in the forest are feeding it.
I promised to talk about matriarch trees, so here's where we get to them.
In a very old forest, you have very old trees. You have some trees that are so very, very old, their own roots cover entire regions of the forest. Their leaves reach up to the sky over everyone else. And after so long, they've developed to where they can take in way more resources than they need.
So what do they do?
They feed baby trees.
Baby saplings in an old forest can't reach up to the sun. There's no light down there. And their roots are too small and shallow to dig down to the nutrients they need. So the matriarch tree will draw energy from its towering canopy, and nutrients from its massive, ancient roots, and feed them to the little trees that are too small to feed themselves. For anything she can't get on her own, she'll act as a central hub, taking in spare resources from the rest of the forest and giving them to the little ones.
And one of the best parts - she won't just do it for her own species. She'll connect to all kinds of trees, because they're all necessary for the ecosystem to work. She'll adopt the whole forest's children.
Sometimes in forests you'll find a spot where there are a lot of small trees in an open space around an old, fallen tree. People generally assume they could find more light there, or maybe the soil's more fertile from the decomposition.
But no.
They're her children, and she's spent centuries keeping the whole forest alive.
please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit
TOP 3 TRAITORS:
3. Brutus 2. Judas 1. Printers when you are in a hurry
Bringing this back because guess what happened to your boy this very morning.
Were you stabbed by Brutus?
Don’t forget that Saint Patrick is not the only saint whose feast day is March 17. It is also the feast of Saint Gertrude, the patron saint of cats and the people who love them.
@liturgicelly
Finally something worth celebrating today!! All hail the patron saint of cats!!!!
As someone named Patrick, I am all for this!
I had a dream that the king and the queen of a small country had a daughter. They needed a son, a first-born son, so in secret, without telling anyone of their child’s gender, they travelled to the nearby woods that were rumoured to house a witch.
They made a deal with that witch. They wanted a son, and they got one. A son, one made out of clay and wood, flexible enough to grow but sturdy enough to withstand its destined path, enchanted to look like a human child. The witch asked for only one thing, and that was for their daughter.
They left the girl readily.
The witch raised her as her own, and called her Thyme. The princess grew up unknowing of her heritage, grew up calling the witch Mama, and the witch did her very best to earn that title.
She was taught magic, and how to forage in the woods, how to build sturdy wooden structures and how to make the most delicious stews. The girl had a good life, and the witch was pleased.
The girl grew into a woman, and learned more and more powerful magics, grew stronger from hauling wood and stones and animals to cook, grew smarter as the witch taught her more.
She learned to deal with the people in the villages nearby, learned how to brew remedies and medicines and how to treat illness and injury, and learned how to tell when someone was lying.
Every time the pair went into town, the people would remark at just how similar Thyme was to her mother.
(Thyme does not know who and what she is. She does not know that she was born a princess, that she was sold. She only knows that one night after her mother read her a story about princesses and dragons, her mother had asked her if she ever wanted to be a princess.)
((Thyme only knows that she very quickly answered no. She likes being a witch, thank you very much, she likes the power that comes with it and the way that she can look at things and know their true nature.))
The witch starts preparing the ritual early, starts collecting the necessities in the winter so they can be ready by the fall equinox. Her daughter helps, and does not ask what this is for, just knows that it is important.
The witch looks at Thyme, both their hands raised into the air over a complicated array of plants, tended carefully to grow into a circle, and says, sorry.
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