Womb to World

Unedited thoughts on being pregnant, becoming parents, and sharing this beautiful life with our son, Nolan Cass Bendel.

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Best Dog. Best Friend.

A special shout out to my 6 month old bff, Seru. Life with Nolan would be so much harder if you weren't you. You're as content running through the woods for a couple of hours as you are spending all day in bed. Plus, you are just so darn smart and cute! Nolan loves you so much he tried to nurse on your nose today...and you love him so much, you let him. <3

On an unrelated note, does me being skeptical of Dr. Seuss make me a crazy mom? I'm referring specifically to The Cat in the Hat where 2 young siblings are left alone at home (it's an old book...) and they play all day with a strange cat while their pet fish insists this is all wrong (I'm with the fish...). Couldn't a kid draw the conclusion that strangers are fun?! I'm no longer sure how timeless this particular title is. 

Thankfully if a stranger tried to come into our house, Seru would let us know. 

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Benson Family Four Generations 

Photo goal for the weekend? Check! We all pitched in and made the four generations series happen this am...especially Nolan who hung in there the whole time. ;) 

We've been busy spending lots of quality family time together. Marilee and Jim have been really helpful arranging dinner almost every night (which means yummy lunch leftovers!) and holding Nolan or changing his diaper (Marilee has mastered our cloth diapering process) which means I get to do things like going for daily runs with Seru, yay!

Nana Jean left today, and we miss her already! It was such a treat having her here. We really look forward to spending more time with her at the winter family reunion she's hosting, if not sooner. She brought for me lots of wonderful old family pictures (framing project!) and for Michael, his late grandfather Don Benson's watch. Michael and I just love family treasures like these. 

Michael goes to NYC tomorrow for an event his company is co sponsoring with YouTube (neat!) which will be Nolan's and my first time here without him. Thankfully Marilee and Jim will be around to help and keep me company until Michael gets back on Wednesday. The three of us will manage without you, dad (but we'll miss you!). 

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Four Generations

Nolan met his nana (great grandma) Jean yesterday and doubled his baby IQ instantly. Jean is the smartest, kindest, sweetest, most beautiful woman I've met. Just thinking about her puts a smile on my face. She's in her 80s and is still sharp as a whip. She and my mother in law Marilee took turns holding Nolan the whole day, cooing at every sleepy smile, scrunchy pooping face, and the rare but heart-melting open-eyed acknowledgements. 

My picture goal for this weekend is to get a four generation shot of all of us - nana, grand parents, parents, uncle Nick, and Nolan.

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Dad Recording Music. Nolan and I Taking Selfies. 

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It's Another Beautiful Day

I went running this morning for the first time since Nolan's birth. Dad got to bond in bed with Nolan, Seru got a "walk", and I got exercise too. Win-win-wine-I mean-win. It was a short 30 minute jog but thats all I needed (and had time for). I felt so energized I made Michael coffee, packed his lunch as usual, and made us green smoothies. I want to continue making time for physical activity since that's the one big thing I haven't prioritized lately. I know I have a small excuse, but I feel great, really miss it, and getting out in the morning worked well, so I'm just going to add it to the list and get it done. 

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First West Coast Family Visit

Nolan met his West Coast grandparents Marilee and Jim for the first time yesterday and everyone was just smitten. We're glad they're here for almost a week because last night was too short of a visit. They drove to pick up grandma Jean (Nolan's great grandma) who got in at 8:30pm so we decided they'd head back to the hotel from the airport and we'd reconvene this morning. Michael was supposed to be off for the rest of the week but ended up going into the office to do what needs to be done. We understand, dad. We'll all be here staring at baby when you get back! 

I know I'll take a ton of pictures this week (can't wait to get some with Jean!) so...to be continued! 

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Those Big Beautiful Eyes are Becoming Aware 

It's incredible to watch Nolan slowly becoming aware of his world. He looked at dad earlier this week...I mean really looked...and, of course, I teared up with happiness. He's been giving me that same heart melting look all week. He makes these sounds which I call his precry. I try to fix the issue (change diaper, breastfeed, etc.) before it turns to actual crying, and lately the "issue" has just been he wants to be near me! So we've been doing lots of snuggling and hanging out. I read to him, play with him in his baby gym, and sometimes we just lie down and make faces at each other. 

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Fun in the Hot, Hot Sun 

Rachel came to play with us on Marathon Monday and we did a long trail walk in the Fells. I need to remember to step out before getting us ready...it was way hotter than I remembered 55-65 degrees being. I overdressed Nolan (and myself) so he wasn't very happy with me on that front, but we had a blast otherwise. He was fine for most of the walk but would fuss when we were in direct sunlight or when I started heating up during the rockier parts. He would have been fine in just his diaper inside the Boba wrap. Even with sunblock and a hat Nolan got a good tan! Now he looks more like me, haha. 

Rachel managed almost everything. She had the backpack, fed us water, and took care of Seru during the on-leash parts of our walk. Nolan and I are getting really good at nursing while we walk so we didn't have to worry about him getting hungry on a long outing. His wet diapers also seem to bother us more than him. We need to figure out the heat though! Hopefully once the leaves come in, we'll get some relief in the forrest. 

When Nolan hits 12 lbs, we'll use his Ergobaby carrier for these kinds of trips which might help with airflow as well. We didn't want to get the infant insert for the Ergo and the Boba feels best to us for creating a warm and fuzzy fourth trimester environment anyway. 

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Less than 2 Week Old Nolan is So Popular 

Yesterday was Nolan's 2 week birthday. He's quite young to have stolen so many hearts. From left to right and down: surfer dudette "auntie" Rachel, my awesome colleague Leah,  parents-to-be "uncle" Tony and "auntie" Chelsea, little Isabella in Chelsea's belly, and the cool "grandma" Liane (she knows everything!!). 

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< $10 DIY Wood Baby Gym

Michael and I are sick of plastic and believe that if we don't limit our plastic consumption we might get sick from plastic. I'll do a future post on my quest for a plastic free baby bottle because there is only ONE company in the entire global market that makes 100% plastic free bottles.

Once Nolan began focusing on objects during tummy time and staring at things around the house, it was time to get him a baby gym. But I didn't like anything I saw for sale...they are mass produced, mostly plastic, and so tacky that you'd want to put it away after baby was done. There were some really fun ones on Etsy, but we couldn't afford to spend $150+ on a baby gym. So we decided to make one ourselves. 

Working backwards, we selected the baby gym toys first. My colleague Gloria had donated three colorful cloth toys and auntie Andrea bought Nolan an interactive toy bee (his favorite!). Each of these hangs from it's own ring to attach to a car seat, vibrating seat, etc so we knew they'd work great in a gym design. 

We didn't have to reinvent the wheel. We borrowed a few ideas from Pintrest and put our own twist on it.  All you need is some wood, sanding paper, a dowel, wood glue, ribbon, and a drill (with a drill bit that matches the size of the dowel). Ours turned out less than perfect (we're still debating whether we should redo it for another $5). Our 1 inch drill bit was loose so we ended up using a 3/4 inch bit and widening the holes for the dowel with another bit. The imperfections don't compromise safety so it's just fine for now. Most importantly, Nolan loves it! 

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Nolan has the sweetest dad in the world. He never forgets an important occasion. <3

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Nolan's Nwaran (Nepali Naming Ceremony)

Nwaran is a spiritual naming ceremony. It's celebrated 11 days after birth when baby receives a name that is different from his birth certificate name. In Nepal, this is considered baby's real name, the birth certificate name being baby's social name. 

My parents consulted with a hindu priest in Nepal. Based on the date and time of Nolan's birth, referencing the lunar calendar, the priest provided us with the first syllable of his name - "gh". We came up with Gham which means sunshine. It's perfect on so many levels - he's our sunshine, of course, the cold New England weather turned a corner the very day of his birth, and our world wouldn't exist without the sun (not in the same way anyway). 

Nolan's birth certificate name is Nolan Cass Bendel. Yes, we all have different last names (another post!), his being a literal combination of Michael's (Benson) and mine (Poudel). Nolan's Auntie Andrea came up with it!

Nolan is a multi racial, multi cultural baby, so we are trying to consider both histories in everything to we do. Because Gham is a Nepali first time, we used Benson for his nwaran last name. He is both Nolan Cass Bendel and Gham Benson. 

Michael did a great job leading the whole puja (honor, worship, spiritual celebration) with direction from my mom. Doesn't he look so official? 

The Poudels and Bensons welcome you to the world, Nolan! 

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My beautiful baby boy...that's all. 

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“As long as you're dancing, you can Break the rules. Sometimes breaking the rules is just Extending the rules. Sometimes there are no rules.”

Mary Oliver 

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First Family Visit

The Poudels were dying to meet Nolan. They were ready to come wait for him before I was even in labor, and they were about to drive up from NYC when I went into labor on Saturday, April 5th. We knew our new family had to be at the hospital for about 48 hours after birth so we decided they'd come up the following weekend and spend quality time with us in a more comfortable setting. "Aunties" Andrea and Ojaswi (two of my childhood and adulthood best friends who are really like my sisters) were also coming up that weekend so it was going to be a Nepali style family party! 

The whole weekend+ was such a blast. Michael, Nolan, and I have never been so spoiled by the Poudels, especially by my mom and sister who stayed almost a week. They did groceries, made delicious, healthy home cooked Nepali meals 3 times a day, served us, cleaned up non-stop, and still had time to bond with Nolan. My sister even swept the floors and took Seru out on walks everyday! I'm blessed with the most loving and kind family. 

While the boys did their thing, my leading ladies kept me company and watched Nolan nurse. They were as happy as I was just to be in his presence and I got to spend lots of time with them all. 

This year, due to obvious reasons, I kept forgetting my birthday. Of course, Michael remembered and the Poudels didn't forget either. They got a cake for me, Andrea, and Nolan - the almost birthday triplets - and for Michael and me for our 2-year marriage anniversary which was just a few days later. Yup, April is a big month in our family! 

We made sure to step outside for at least a little while every day. We took walks around the Fellsmere pond which is just a 4-minute walk from us and we did trail walks/hikes at the Fells Reservation which is a 15-minute walk from us. 

It was a perfect time spent with wonderful people during such a special time in our lives. Best "vacation" ever!

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Super Dad

I'm so grateful everyday for my husband, best friend, and life partner Michael. He loves me unconditionally and it's so clear that's how he feels about our son too.

It's so fun to watch his version of nesting. We both spend most of our "free" time playing and bonding with Nolan. But when Nolan's napping or nursing, Dad's busy taking care of the whole family. He's doing a great job at the office but is still 100% dad and 100% husband.He plays guitar and sings for Nolan every night, takes on more of our cloth diapering routine (post on this coming), organizes us financially, takes the lead on future planning, takes Seru on morning walks, gives me massages, and does whatever I haven't gotten to in the house. I'm breaking a sweat just thinking about all that he does for us. 

I couldn't be blessed with a better husband and Nolan couldn't be blessed with a better dad.

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Nolan's First Smile

Does this "tweety pie" make your heart melt or what? I know babies aren't supposed to smile for a few months, but come on, does this look like anything else?! He's such a great kid. If he's even only half as happy as Michael and I are, he'll do alright.