No no, you don’t get it. Jesse and James are the absolute best there is at their jobs, but they have no idea what their jobs are.
They think that they’re thieves, agents of an elite criminal group led by Giovanni, stealing rare pokemon and advanced technology and such. And there might have been a time this actually was their jobs. In the first season or two, they frequently get angry phone calls about how they’ve fucked everything up, or get their expense account cut off because they have literally never turned a profit on their criminal enterprises and constantly procure and then lose/destroy expensive and elaborate devices.
But then the world came within a hair’s breadth of being destroyed, several times, and Jesse, James, and their weird cat rescued everybody. As terrible as they’ve always been at criminal endeavors of any kind, when the apocalypse approaches and they’re forced to step up, they’re really fucking good at saving the day.
And Giovanni is over here like… if the planet is destroyed, or time/space becomes unrecognizable, or civilization collapses, there’s no way for me to run a profitable criminal enterprise anymore. I need this planet, because it’s where I keep all my stuff. And I don’t pretend to understand the why of it, but these couple of bumbling nutcases that I should have fired years ago seem to be an important component of that? Somehow? So you gotta stop thinking about them in terms of acquisitions and start considering them… loss prevention. As in, even if you waste a million dollars a month on giant cat-faced robots and a vast array of fancy ball gowns and they never turn a profit, they are preventing all of your assets from going away at the same time because of something you can’t do anything about.
And that’s the great secret behind Team Rocket. These guys aren’t thieves, they’re professional superheroes (sponsored by organized crime). Of course, nobody ever bothered to tell them that.
Plus, as is frequently pointed out: Jesse and James are good at every other job EXCEPT Team Rocket. They’re actually smart businesspeople and run successful food and merchandise stands and are great salespeople.
Hell, even in Team Rocket situations where they’re not chasing after Pikachu they’ve done better.
It’s just their Achilles Heel is one damn OP rodent.
Let's not forget that in addition to saving the world, they are probably the world's greatest spies. Correct me if I'm wrong, but their disguises are NEVER seen through, and if they are, it's at a point where it doesn't matter if they're discovered or not. All things considered, Looker should have hired them back in gen 4
So, it's obvious that they're more Persona users across the globe. This is not a Japan thing. We have seen how the japanese government has managed to keep the paranormal incidents under wraps, so I would like to imagine to other countries did the same.
Now, some headcanons:
Jung was chosen by Philemon as the first Persona user. He needed someone young and interested in the human subconscious.
Philemon allowed Jung to research the Expanse to his heart's content woth the condition that he wouldn't reveal his powers to anyone, since we know how humans can be when they discover a new source of power (*coff* Shido *coff*).
Jung probably awakened when he was a teenager as well, since this would set a pattern for the rest of the users. This means Personas were discovered between 1891 and 1893.
Freud had at least some idea what Jung was up to.
Europe is the region with the most Persona users, followed by Asia and then America, then Africa and finally Oceania. They are just more organized and secretive than the Shadow Ops.
The american and european users know about each other, but they don't know about the asian users. Least of all about the african users. They believe themselves to have a monopoly on the whole Persona deal.
The south american users are more free to use their powers than the north american ones, who are heavily monitored the moment a Persona awakening is registered in their systems.
It's more common for the asian users to have Personas based on mythology and folklore. The european ones are heavily based on real life or historical people. The african ones on people close to them or spiritual ones. The american ones on fictional characters. This doesn't mean an european user won't awaken to Odin, but it's more probable for them to awaken to Marie Curie.
There have been serial killers in the past (besides Akechi) who have used their Personas as their weapon.
Even though any person can awaken to a Persona, the Velvet Room only opens to those under the employment of Philemon.
There are users under different contracts and rules with different gods around the globe. The only thing that stays the same is that you can awaken to a personification of your true self (who can fight shadows).
Personas didn't truly take off in America until the Cold War came around. Then it was a race to awaken as much users as possible. Kinda dark things happened both in America and the Soviet Union concerning this that I won't mention.
There is at least one country with a secret clause for Persona users in their constitution.
I will finish with the probability of the different inventions based on Personas and shadows that other countries made, like the japanese Evokers.
I think that America's tendency to have fictional characters as personas can be chalked up to folklore in olden times, ie Paul Bunyan or Tom Sawyer. In newer times tho, the advent of Disney movies and other big media opened up American's minds to various fictional characters the world over. So it wouldn't be odd for an American to have Aladdin as their persona, or God forbid, Lightning McQueen.
How to tell which sibling is The Impostor in Among Us:
Luther: Luther takes way too long to kill anybody, saying that he’s trying to make them trust him and it’s some 500 IQ play. With the exception of Diego, if you are in a room with him he will likely not kill you. If tasks are 75% done and there’s only two dead bodies then it’s Luther.
Diego: This bitch LOVES killing. You turn your back then BOOM knife in the back. Gets way too argumentative though when people suspect him and if he’s yelling at you then vote his ass out.
Allison: Does pile kills and always has a solid alibi, one that’s a bit too solid. Absolutely amazing at using the vents and dodges cameras like a pro. She gets frustrated as a crewmate though, so anytime she seems content then vote her out because she is an IMPOSTOR.
Klaus: Self reports, forgets about cameras and points fingers at everyone. Tricky thing though is that Klaus also does the third thing when he is a crewmate, so without the first two you really gotta be careful. Saves Diego and Ben for last out of respect. If those two are surviving then get this motherfuckers ASS.
Five: If things seem to be going too well it’s Five. If Five is the last person on your list you’d suspect then it’s Five. If Five said something totally unrelated that leads to people arguing over who’s sus without him in the mix then it’s Five.
Ben: ALWAYS sabotages the lights. Always. He will camp out in vents waiting for the Perfect Time. He will get Klaus to play third impostor without him even knowing it and will use the dead card. Ben Will Play Dirty.
Vanya: She’ll feign ignorance on how to play. “How do I do this task?” She asks, five seconds after gutting Luther and venting to electrical, “I’m sorry I forget so much :(”
So here’s my dumb idea for a “Doom” movie that no one asked for but Hollywood can’t seem to fucking get it right so here we go I guess.
Anyway, there was this horrific event that happened on the Martian colony about 20 years ago and “spoiler alert”, it was demons coming to eat everyone’s ass but the rest of the world doesn’t know that. There was only one survivor, a little girl named Daisy who can’t remember anything except that an angel came and took her daddy.
Anywho, 20 years later and little Daisy is a Space Marine now, just like dear old dad. She and her unit, which includes her girlfriend Mackenzie who is the butch to Daisy’s femme, are being assigned to Mars so needles to say she’s got a lot of issues coming back to the place.
Anyway, on Mars, Dr Samuel Hayden (who isn’t a robot yet, give it time) is working on inter-dimensional travel and the bureaucrats try and stop him but Hayden (who I want to be played by Charles Dance, I will accept no substitutes), does this epic thing where he stares the bureaucrat down and takes control of the station.
Back with daisy, she and her unit get a whole bunch of distress calls from Mars as they approach it and Daisy’s like “AW SHIT, IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN! WE GOTTA FUCKING SCOOT OUT OF HERE BOYS! THE END IS NIGH!” and she’s having visions and shit but no one takes her seriously except her girlfriend and her jock best friend and her weird science friend.
So they land, and it’s demons, and people get eaten except for Daisy and her friends. (dumbasses)
Anyway, Daisy’s visions are getting worse, but they’re trying to tell her to open the portal thing that let the demons through again and they do so with Samuel Hayden’s help (who is now a robot after the demons ate his human form).
So they open the portal and Doomguy comes out and, surprise surprise, it’s Daisy’s dad who really did get taken by Angels and got turned into the ultimate DEmon Killing Badass.
So Doomguy kicks bubblegum and chews ass and there’s a tearful reunion as Daisy reunites with her dad (Doomguy still has a baby picture of her in a little bunny onesie and its super cute).
Anyway, Doomguy kicks all the demon ass with his daughter’s help and he goes back to his space castle with his daughter, her girlfriend and weird friends, and his new robot-scientist boyfriend so he can turn them all into Demon Slaying Badasses like him and play Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater together.
As much as I love soft goroharu they also give me the same vibes that King Bradley and his wife did in FMAB. Like that fucking conviction he had when they tried to use her to shame him and he was like “I know my wife and she knows me. She is strong and will not be swayed by your bullshit so keep her name out of your fucking mouth.” like that 100% ride-or-die she gets even the fucked up parts of me shit is what I live for and I would love to see some goroharu with that energy please.
All the other cultists were making deals with eldritch monsters and dark fiends, they ended up either as slaves to the creatures dark will or they mutated into creatures with 7 eyes and 18 genitals but you decided to be different and bind yourself to a spirit of generosity and kindness, you thought that there was no way a peace loving creature would ever take advantage of you.
You were both right and wrong.
Usually if you want more power as a cultist you just grab an orphan, drag them into a pentagram, cut them open and arrange their entrails into a polite yet firm demand but the moment you even mentioned human sacrifice to you patron they get all upset and start talking about the “sanctity of human life” whatever that means.
Your patron tell you that they reward gift giving over anything else so you take a trip into town with a bunch of copper coins and give one to everyone you see, it takes all day but your patron is still all “that was meaningless” and “true gifts come from the heart” you are at a loss.
Your chamber in the cultist academy is right next to the dungeons of misery where they keep the abstract horrors even the gods look away from. The racket is atrocious. Every night the creatures throw themselves at the rough walls of their cells trying to scratch of their vile rotting skin. The guards have tried to stop them by force but nothing ever works but with all your patrons talk of “kindness is it’s own reward” and “often the people who have been helped the least need help the most” something occurs to you. You walk into an alchemist and buy a giant vat of soothing skin balm, that evening you throw the vat into the cages where it is instantly torn apart by about fifteen tentacles at once. The night the dungeon was silent and you patron gifted you your first invocation.
They were intended to aid in research and informational organization, but then an angel needed help with some Bigger Questions so they can shoot lighting now
discoholicmusic
yousharknotpass
origamiaround
prguitarman
