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Bound copy of 'Custom Made' by stfustucky

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

maybe the feelingsiest smut I've ever read

#ao3 #the witcher #fanbinding #bookbinding #charlie-stfu-blog

frownyalfred

me, quietly whispering to the ao3 page of an author who doesn’t even know I exist: I am obsessed with you

newskyillusion

me, whispering to the ao3 page of an author who hasn’t updated anything in four years: I think about you often and I hope you’re alright

azrielgreen

me, whispering to the ao3 page of an author who wrote one life altering banger and nothing else: I hope your pillow is cool and your skin is clear and you find money in a forgotten jeans pocket

jezebelgoldstone

me, whispering to every single person on this post: please leave one singular comment saying literally any of that

berlynn-wohl

I've seen a lot of posts over the years about accidentally staying up until 3 AM reading a slow-burn fic on AO3 just waiting for them to touch pinkies, but I never see posts about my AO3 experience, which is going to bed tired and falling dead asleep in the middle reading of the most intense unhinged dick-slobbering ass-pounding fuckfest imaginable. Is that just me?

berlynn-wohl

@woman-respecter you get it

batsandboba

(opening the author’s works page after finishing a fic) and if im lucky they’ll have written this exact same fic but different a bunch more times

impactvelocity

I was looking at Leverage fic on AO3, read the tag "hand job" and thought "I don't remember that episode" in all seriousness before it hit me

casgirl

Guy who watched 1 Hail Mary video log: I think he fucked the rock

Guy who watched 5 Hail Mary video logs: comments like that belie a narrow, heteronormative view of relationships. Dr. Grace and Rocky’s bond is something that likely transcends baser human categories like “sexual” or “romantic”. Either way, all this speculation on the nature of their relationship takes away from more important conversations about Dr. Grace’s contributions-

Guy who watched all the Hail Mary video logs: I think the rock fucked him

decemberwinter

listen. I’m all for “writers deserving of having their boundaries respected” but this is so funny to me and like the funniest part is that I don’t think it’s even grounded in reality. like, how are you going to require proof that your readers are in your specific age range? why does it matter to you how old your readers are??? they are???? strangers???? why do you care? how does it affect you? 😭

but to be fair, this is some shit I did when I was 12 and thought I was edgy too. so I get it.

raichett

liking a ship but disliking the distinct set of stock fanon that they have been assigned is like one of those punishments dante came up with when he wrote the worldbuilding for hell in inferno

enonem

The problem with shipping a niche ship: you read all the fanfiction in one afternoon and if you want some more you have to write it yourself.

The problem with shipping a popular ship: 16,835 results on AO3. You start playing with tags and sorting through it, full of determination, confident that with so many fanfics you’re bound to find something you’ll like. Two hours, 30 instances of awful writing, 8 squick-outs,13 wtf AUs and 157 just plain uninteresting later you have to rush back to the canon to even remember why you liked the ship in the first place.

gokuma

The problem with a popular ship: there are 6,285 fics similar to yours and you can’t help but compare your writing with others

The problem with writing a niche ship: you write only for yourself + your best friend who’s either your enabler or just feels sorry for you

phoukanamedpookie

Why y'all gotta put my business out there like that?

muirin007

2012-13 AO3 was a beautiful fever dream.

striving-artist

if you're reading my, or other people's fic, that uses css skins and more complex html coding to do translations, I want you to see, pause, and appreciate the wonderful, amazing people who figure out how to create this shit that is witchcraft to me and my art school education, and then post it for free so your ao3 experience can be smoother.

Basic hover text doesn't work on mobile, and doesn't require a css skin. It's what I used for years, and I learned it via 1 web search from a list of basic coding. Here's an example of what that looks like:

ORIGINAL

that's 34 extra characters beyond the original word and the translation. I have typoed before, and once deleted 4k of writing via one typo in that html, but, overall, very simple.

Now let's look at what I'm going to use now, which I absolutely would never have even attempted if other members of fandom didn't create the css, guides for how to do it, and freaking spreadsheet that concatenates the html you need to copy paste in.

ORIGINAL[TRANSLATION]

That's an extra 162 characters. but it works on mobile, it's cleaner, and its got an extra thing that makes it legible via screenreader. I like knowing stuff, so I stared at this until I understood what each piece is doing, but there is no way in hell I'd have known it was an option otherwise.

and I really hope this shows up as the written code, not making it function, but I have no idea. lets find out together

evilwriter37

Saying “this niche, properly tagged, warned, and rated piece of fiction could theoretically hurt someone” is not a good argument. This properly labeled cookie with the allergen information at the bottom that contains gluten could theoretically harm me very badly, but only if I consume it. Tags are like nutrition labels, and warnings are like allergy information. If you know you have an allergy to something, the logic is to stay away from it. It is the same with fiction. I’m not running through stores yelling at people to take all the products with gluten off the shelves just because it could hurt me. Instead I ignore it and go to the gluten free section and find cookies that are right for me. And if running through a grocery store yelling sounds ridiculous, that’s because it is. Stop doing the same with fiction.

kokichis-dead-dove-club

this is the best way i’ve seen this put!!

lynati

And just like with food, what might be harmful for one person to consume could be quite *beneficial* for others. One man’s trigger is another man’s catharsis.

randomslasher

AND if you lack the maturity/self control/awareness to stop yourself from eating things that could potentially harm you, you either 1) are too young to be making your own food choices and should be supervised by a parent/other adult who is supposed to be responsible for you (and the store clerk who put the food on the shelf is NOT) or 2) need to take accountability for your own actions, because if you deliberately consumed something you knew could hurt you as a fully autonomous adult, then you really have no one to blame but yourself.

nikoford

I’d like to add that within AO3, “Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings” is, in this food analogy, like the food labels that read “This product was manufactured in a facility where [potential food allergens] are used in the production of some products”. It’s not telling you they’re in there, but even more importantly, it’s not telling you they’re not. This is not the same as “No Archive Warnings Apply” which would be the certified [food allergen] free food. One guarantees a certain experience, the other has given you no promises as to what may or may not be included and is very much a consume-at-your-own-risk product.

sevdrag

perfection

elf-kid2

Sokka was always like "I'm starving!" And "Where's the MEAT??" and "Yay! Free food! Grab as much as you can, guys!" But...

They never starved, you know? Sokka went hunting or fishing whenever they stopped long enough-- and even if the catch wasn't as much as he wanted to, I don't recall them ever going hungry.

When they were low on money and supplies, Sokka got a job on a fishing boat (Storm Episode). Or asked for food and money, as thanks for saving the village (Hei Bei Forest/spirit-kidnapping episode). Or something similar, the make sure that even if supplies were low, the pot was never entirely empty.

That's a skill.

Contrast that with Zuko and Iroh. Their first attempt at fishing caught barely a mouthful. They went hungry often-- even AFTER they began to resort to begging and stealing. They couldn't forage because they didn't know how to tell the edible from the poisonous.

It's easy to view Sokka as just the funny guy: he cultivated that part of his image, even. It's EASY to say that elite fighters with Royal tutors and private schools, etc, are better educated or more skilled than some teen from the Southern Water Tribe.

But when push came to shove? When it came to personally ensuring that nobody goes hungry while they're on this epic cross-country quest?

Sokka had them beat.

gaylord-zuko

And I think if Sokka ever couldn’t find or catch enough food for all of them, he would come back with what he had and say he already ate some of it.

“Ugh, you always think just because you’re the oldest you get to eat first,” Katara chides him. She rolls her eyes and grumbles under her breath about how boys are annoying and she wishes she had a sister.

Sokka just stretches casually and pats his stomach, hoping the rumbling will stay quiet enough that his sister can’t hear it.

derinthescarletpescatarian

Sokka’s constant insecurity with food and tendency to eat as much as he can at feasts etc. even though he’s perfectly capable of providing for the group indicates a past of food insecurity.

Remember in episode one, how desperate and invested he seemed out hunting with Katara? How uncertain it seemed that he’d catch anything, even though it’s made clear by the rest of the show he’s a competent provider? How angry he was when he blamed Katara’s “weird magic” for costing him the kill (he didn’t see the fish she’d caught with her bending)? The water tribe seem alright for food now (Katara’s just carrying around a fish to feed penguins later), but it’s likely that they were left hungry for awhile, during or after the Fire Nation attacks.

allosaurusfragilis

This probably isn't going to change people's minds, but sometimes it is easier to evoke sympathy for dogs than it is to evoke sympathy for trans folks.

Giving money to J.K.Rowling is the same as giving money to eradicate transgender people. I'm sorry, but it's true. Equivocate all you like, but it's as true as the day is long.

rovermcfly

rocky's crew dying from radiation exposure, something humans go to great lengths to prevent and are very scared of and ryland's crew dying in their "sleep" with nobody watching, something eridians go to great lengths to prevent and are very scared of. cool book that is easy to read through your tears.

agoddamn

I still want to write the fic where an outsider has all these preconceptions about what the Force is and then goes into a room with a bunch of Jedi who are tearing into each other like bitchy old academics.

“Ooh, look at Master Structuralist over here with his ever-so-deep ‘everything is attachment actually’ reading”

“I don’t want to hear that from someone who calls every new opinion ‘new depths of their relationship with the Force’”

“The Jedi Order is a social construct–”

“Could you stuff the po-mo and pick up a book once in a while? These aren’t new ideas! You are not a pioneer because you asked one question!”

“I think you could all benefit on more reflection on how our rooting in the Force is actually deeply sexual–”

“If I have to hear one more word about lightsabers being penis envy you are going to be one with the Force immediately.”

gershwyndl

#I’m 100% into this and want annual conferences about the force and what it means to be a jedi#everyone keep asking very passive-aggressive questions after every presentations#at one point a lecturer says ‘I know this because the Force told me so’ instead of listing their sources and the whole room groans#a scholar who isn’t force-sensitive shows up and half of the jedi are like ‘who even is this guy’#a LOT of rage is being released in the force at the same time#the only moment everyone in the room makes an appreciative noise is when the lunch break is announced#a huge debate blows up during the break because someone mentions it could be good to invite a nightsister next year#someone storms off mumbling about heresy and not taking part in this debacle @obiwanobi

yes please I need more jedi symposiums with knights who had different views than consulars who have different views than shadows. Temple-centered jedi versus those who lead frequent diplomatic or medical missions versus exploratory and research jedi who spend most of their time in uninhabited wild space and the outer rim.

There is absolutely no way an organization that large doesn’t have factions that understand the force differently–my 15-person philosophy class couldn’t agree on a single thing we read all term.

korben600

Anakin shows up once, pulls up his PowerPoint and it just says “I am the Chosen One.”

The room immediately turns into chaos.

maulusque

dear god why would you leave this in the tags

#Obi wan was pissed that his past presentation on Jedi/Mandalorian cultural parallelism was laughed out#so he put Anakin up to it just to send the room into a tailspin#Anakin LOVED it#he got to sword fight an eighty year old snake#and force chuck a dude into a wall#he officially never misses one of these anymore#every year he just goes up and says the most controversial thing he can to get the room to riot#the year after its ‘the more midichlorians you have the closer you are to the force’#he almost got stabbed by an old monk from the far side of dantooine#for that one#the council keeps letting him speak because it’s way less embarrassing to blame the fights on Skywalker#than admit everyone at an academic conference wants to murder each other#they did get a Nightsister to come to the conference btw#it was very enlightening and everyone liked her#the problem was that Anakin’s presentation that year was#‘master/student bonds are no different than lovers bonds in the force’#and#the Nightsister took REAL offense to that#Anakin is like 30% sure he got cursed#totally worth it for the look on Obi-Wan’s face tho#the Nightsister came back the next year#she brought friends!#they’re not sure if she did that because they were interested in the academics or if she wanted backup to beat the shit out of Anakin#but the council likes both cases#so they see this as an absolute win!

ellie-you-idiot

Yoda was banned and no one will talk about why

willowcrowned

It happened six hundred years ago so no one knows but theories range from “he ate all the snacks” to “he personally instigated a duel meant to settle whether channeling the force through combat meditation is more effective than through regular meditation but the duel got out of hand and everyone but him lost at least one limb”

the truth is that he was never actually banned, he’s just been saying it so he doesn’t have to go. he started all the rumors himself

nightmareglitter

The conference has a no murders, attempted murders or arrests on the behalf of the Republic clause, specifically because of the number of Jedi trying to arrest other Jedi for disagreeing with their theories.

Dooku take advantage of the facts that you are not required to be a Jedi to attend, for his first 10 years post-Order, and the fact that they can’t legally arrest him for the next three.

Anakin is 14 the first time the Nightsister is invited, and is only doing this presentation for the video of Obi-Wan’s face, so that he can bribe Quinlan into giving him speeder parts with it.

Mace loves it, because it’s the one time of year he gets to see Skywalker cause everybody but him a headache.

“I know this because the Force told me so” was Qui-Gon, who uses this as his regular excuse for everything, in this case, as an excuse to be a little shit-stirrer.

somestorythoughts

I’d like to suggest that along with the “no arrests on behalf of the Republic” clause there’s a mostly forgotten clause that’s something like “no bounty hunting allowed” that’s a hold-over from a period when this conference was more widely known in the wider galaxy and there was a surge of overly confident bounty hunters trying to capture Jedi at the conference (alternatively, the clause is actually ‘no arrests period’ and most people have forgotten cause most of the attempted arrests have been ‘on behalf of the Republic’ for so long).

This never goes well for the bounty hunters. There is a specific kind of chaos the Jedi come to this conference to enjoy and they are NOT it. Of course, they have enough respect for their fellow Jedi not to hand them over to bounty hunters, but also they came here for academic chaos, not ‘wanted dead or alive’ chaos.

Someone has to moderate the fights duels that inevitably arise. That person has to either prove their ability to be neutral hand or just genuinely not give a shit about the arguments regarding the Force.

They may not be allowed to arrest or murder Dooku but that doesn’t stop them from pranking the everloving shit out of him for those three years. They tried to unversially ignore him the first year but uh. That only lasted until he opened his mouth.

somestorythoughts

Actually let me add something to this because I think it’d be HILARIOUS if @blackkatmagic’s Jastre Meerel wound up here. He was just trying to track down Jocasta Nu outside of the Archives to argue about some historical groups and wound up here and now he’s listening/taking furious notes on a shouted arguement on whether the presence of midichlorians in force sensitives is correlation or causation.

He basically comes away feeling like someone who went to a conference on some topic or fandom they’re casually interested in only to learn that they only know like, a quarter of the lore and that there are arguments almost as old as the texts.

tsumu-doku

Comments to love: Okay but consider: Anakin loves the conferences because they give him idea’s and because he’s strong enough with the force to prove someone wrong every year.

One year Anakin invites the Supreme Chancellor to the conference after he expressed a desire to “better understand the mysterious ways of the jedi and the force.” Anakin’s worried that the Chancellor will think less of the Order after witnessing multiple jedi attempt to use folding chairs as weapons, but for some unexplainable reason, Palpatine is the happiest that Anakin has ever seen him.

^^^ Palpatine joins the conference at one point and tries to argue that being a Sith should merely count as following a different branch of the Force.

Wasn’t there a holocube in the Old Republic comics that was basically an old Jedi Master recording his salty commentary about his contemporaries and his personal interpretation of the force?

The original post has me picturing must-speak-in-monotone-because-jedi Anakin accidentally coming across that scene. His mind would just short circuit. It would contradict everything he thought he knew.

irrationalplanets

doctor who is the greatest tv show ever made

emilysidhe

I was waiting for the punchline and it didn’t disappoint

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