[writingpuddle]

Fic Masterpost

I actually have enough fics now to justify doing one of these, so here goes! I realized after I finished that I never specified pairings, but like, do you gotta ask? It’s Andreil all the way down 😎

Multi-Chapter

Out of the Ashes (Quartet, WIP)  Words: 254,021 Rating: Mature/Explicit

A highschool AU turned university Exy AU with a few major plot twists and a whole lotta angst. Comprised of: Pressure Points (Words: 92,170, complete) Flatline (Words: 76,642, complete) Borrowed Time (Words: 85,207, WIP)

Glencaster Lodge (complete) Words: 51,429  Rating: Teen and Up

Sometimes happily ever after is a long time coming.

The one where Andrew and Neil didn't meet in college. Now, in their sixties, they discover it's never too late for true love.

Through Rose-Coloured Glasses (WIP) Words: 21,175  Rating: Teen and Up

A series of vignettes set in a world where Neil and Andrew were adopted as children and grew up as best friends.

Be All My Sins Remember’d (WIP) Words: 6,716  Rating: Teen and Up

Kengo is dead, and it wasn't an accident.

a Hamlet AU featuring Riko as Hamlet, Jean as Horatio, and a whole pile of angst and murder

Broken Symmetries (WIP) Words: 53,648  Rating: Teen and Up

Multiverse travel is real--but you can only travel to worlds where your doppelganger is already dead. To Eldridge Co., Neil is a valuable commodity, able to travel to nearly 98% of the worlds they can reach. But neither Neil or Eldridge are quite what they seem. (A Space Between Worlds AU)

Warning Signs (WIP) Words: 5,714  Rating: Mature

Mary Hatford could kill a man and fleece his corpse without flinching. She knew the family business inside and out. She was born for this life, she had trained for this life, and she wanted it with all of her being.

There was just one teensy little problem.

Much Ado (complete) Words: 23,186  Rating: Teen and Up

Loosely following the plot of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, avowed bachelor Neil is determined never to marry, and also determined to insult Andrew into an early grave. Meanwhile, Riko is plotting to ruin Matt and Dan's wedding. Wymack has a headache.

Under a Sea of Mist (complete) Words: 48,992  Rating: Teen and Up

For a thousand years the Lord Ruler has reigned over the Final Empire. Ash falls from the sky and strange mists shroud the night. The skaa labour in the fields and the nobility dance in their Keeps, their glittering lights blinding them to the cruelty in their hearts.

The skaa rebellion is a fantasy and Neil knows it. The Lord Ruler is immortal; there's no overthrowing him. It's as much a surprise to him as anyone else when he gets recruited. But as he gets drawn deeper into the plot, he starts to discover things that will change their understanding of magic forever.

There's always another secret. (A Mistborn AU; no knowledge of Mistborn required)

One-Shots

Coming Home (complete) Words: 19,343  Rating: Teen and Up

After Baltimore, the Foxes get Neil back--in an urn.

Across the ocean, Nathaniel Wesninski schemes to get back to his family.

Love and Other Assorted Foolishness (complete) Words: 3,232  Rating: Teen and Up

5 times Andrew and Neil kissed in secret while there were other people around + 1 time they got caught

Honey I Shrunk The Kids (complete) Words: 6,261  Rating: General

Due to handwavium quantum nonsense, Andrew and Neil are suddenly children again, with no memories of their lives with the Foxes. The team attempts to take care of them. Hijinks and cuteness ensues.

Becoming (complete) Words: 2,171  Rating: General

Learning to be soft is an uphill process. Andrew and Neil take a stab at it anyway.

More Than This (complete) Words: 2,556  Rating: Teen and Up

What if Neil and Andrew met before Mary died--from Mary’s POV

Singularity (complete) Words: 15,011  Rating: Teen and Up

Neil Josten's Guide to Hooking Up With Your Roommate

(your results may vary)

Moonlight (complete) Words: 1,815  Rating: Teen and Up

The Foxes go camping. Skinny-dipping happens. Neil is a nuisance.

Another Day Calls (complete) Words: 6,561  Rating: Mature

Aaron's trial ended with a not-guilty verdict. That should be the end of it. Andrew testified and now he can wash his hands of that part of his life.

But though it's ancient history to him, it's front page news to the rest of the world. The fallout is never that easy.

The Stars Refuse To Shine (complete) Words: 4560  Rating: Teen and Up

Andrew faces a life-threatening surgery. Neil grapples with the thought of losing the most important person in his life.

What do you do when the person you were supposed to grow old with might die tomorrow?

Never Have I Ever (complete) Words: 7191  Rating: Teen and Up

“Wait, it’s my turn,” Allison said, pushing herself further upright. She swayed dangerously, then narrowed her eyes and pointed at Neil. “We’re still targeting him, right.”

“Jesus,” Aaron muttered. “Could you guys seriously—”

Nicky clapped a hand over Aaron’s mouth. “Yes,” he said. “Definitely. Make the boy drink.”

Aaron shoved him off and sulked at the edge of the fire, nursing his drink.

“Alright,” Allison said. “I've got it. Never have I ever—told Andrew I love him.”

Bulletpoint Fics

Neil with a British Accent

The Marriage Fic

Foxes on the Pacific Crest Trail

The Hobby Farm

Trans!Neil

[itsalwaysdark]

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

[patitojus]

lazy andriel morning sketch

[juicegremlin]

andrew minyard never skips therapy. his best friend is a born-again knife-wielding christian ex-gangster. his other best friend is a 6'2" lacrossehockey prodigy/recovering alcoholic with a face tattoo. he doesn't smile. his situationship got him to stop doing drugs by buying him a maserati. he didn't meet his own twin brother until they were fifteen years old. he's been to jail. he is five feet even. he's the best goalie in the league and he couldn't care less. he gets in the shower fully clothed to give neil josten a blowjob. he's a chainsmoking pro athlete. he killed his own mother. he's getting a criminal justice degree as a joke. he picked the guy with a dozen fake names and a mafioso daddy to be with forever. he's a scorpio. the closest thing he's ever had to a father is his college exy coach. he loves hot chocolate and ice cream and clubbing with his cousin.

andrew minyard character of all time.

[wildehacked]

things in fic I'm used to people kind of faking their way through writing about:

the city of los angeles

the city of new york

sex

how drinking alcohol works

how getting high works

how a child of any age speaks

how nuclear physics work

how [my job] works

how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is

how hypothermia works

things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:

what french toast is

[headspace-hotel]

read through the notes on this one trust me

[kiragecko]

Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:

SHRIMP COCKTAIL:

banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol

generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is

#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro

And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!

POMEGRANATES:

zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple

thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute

sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.

FRUIT TREES:

zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''

salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE

baander: #cranberry trees

DOUGH/BATTER:

maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre

livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles

lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY

Some other topics:

ANIMALS:

catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear

piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave

pluto-lichen: horses

misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like

pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially

SEX:

dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.

dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”

SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad

shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze

sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon

alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices

dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.

the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes

typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy

draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices

11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note

fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is

emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣

NON-FOOD STUFF:

red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.

bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket

nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English

sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp

danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author

meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does

vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'

leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake

fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?

dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic

msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate

shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September

baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird

twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)

waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up

violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours

purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.

[qi-mera]

More of you need to learn about these ☝️

[jadenebula]

[random-brushstrokes]

Alexandr Alexeevich Borisov - Seals (1912)

From the diaries of the artist: «It was very difficult to work; I had to cut the brushes, make the bristle short, rub the colors was almost inconceivable. <… > The hand is cracking, it is breaking; the roaring hands refuse to serve. But you draw, all thirsty to put on the canvas these bizarre, gloomy, full of peculiar beauty paintings of the Far North» (source)

[phantomrose96]

Every once in a while I'll get engaged where a piece of media where one character has a highly specific and non-obvious speaking quirk, which I myself don't notice but another fan or friend far more unwell than me will catch onto and inform me of. And then it's like I'm part of the secret true universe and any fan content breaking the rule will, inadvertently and in ways I cannot fault them for, brand themselves an imposter.

[phantomrose96]

Garnet StevenUniverse does not ask questions. Jax TheAmazingDigitalCircus does not curse. Probably 80% of the Homestuck fuckers have some flavor of this but I'm not unwell enough for that.

[phantomrose96]

Sorry yeah adding mumblespash's dad as the third example. Get your fics right.

[sasha-on-the-side]

Been talking about this with friends so I present to you, the cursed spectrum of media literacy

[i-might-be-vanny]

Added a Y axis from the notes

[logically-asexual]

i feel so seen!!

(twitter thread)

[boop-your-dragons]

Does everyone "have" a gender?

Examining 'gender detachment' in the asexual community

[snazzy-hats-and-adhd]

Saving @derinthescarletpescatarian 's tags because I just like the way they are worded.

[tsarq]

This is so cool

[runesinthenight]

This is so validating because the respondents in this paper are saying some of the same things I've been feeling and thinking for years.

I'm asexual. I figured that out not long after I first came across the term in high school. But figuring out my gender took a lot longer. I didn't really think about my gender identity for years, it wasn't until I was in college that I started trying to figure out what my gender was. That process took years.

I didn't really feel attached to my assigned gender, but I also didn't feel the gender dysphoria that trans people described. I didn't particularly feel like I was neither of those either. For a long time, I honestly didn't feel like any of the gender descriptions and identities I was coming across really fit. I just didn't care that much about what my actual gender was. Eventually I decided upon the agender label as that seemed the most apt. As the paper says, it's really hard to be truly without gender in this highly gendered world. Agender is a way of defining myself in a way that people who experience gender might be able to understand when "I'm just me." isn't really an acceptable answer to the "what's your gender?" question.

I don't mind being perceived as a gender, none of them are offensive to me. While I do like when I am perceived as male or at least not female, I think that more has to do with growing up female and not wanting to be pushed into traditional female roles and values than a connection or repulsion to any gender. I'm impossible to misgender because I frankly don't care.

Honestly, the biggest problem I have with my gender, is trying to define it to people. There's been a large push in recent years for asking people for their pronouns, or including pronouns in things like email signatures and surveys. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is a bad thing! This is very affirming for a lot of people. But it feels like I need to pick something that doesn't quite fit. At pride, for instance, there's always pronoun buttons. But they're all she/her, he/him, they/them, she/they, he/they, it/it, xe/xir, etc etc. And that's great. I'm always glad that there are a lot of options for people. But there's never any pins for any/all pronouns. I've never picked up a free pronoun pin at pride, despite always looking, because they all feel like picking what pronouns I don't want poeple to use and the answer is that I don't care. I fround an any/all pronoun pin once at a queer museum and I cried.

I really suggest you read the paper if you haven't. Not just the article, the whole paper. This is probably the most seen I've felt in a long time.

[casszanova]

Renee and Jean mean so much to me

[qqchurch]

[theslowesthnery]

when someone is completely fucking wrong about your blorbo but you don't want to argue about what basically boils down to opinions about shit that doesn't matter so you just sit there like

"that guy's wrong tho"

[doesephs]

american crutches look like a toddler drew them

[vetchtibbles]

despite everything, it’s still you (derogatory)

[vetchtibbles]

wait hey man wait whoah hey

[incomingalbatross]

You know, it's aggravating to read fics where the writers have created Blorbo-Centered Morality - you know, the fics where everyone who's ever been mean to Blorbo are horrible irredeemable people, and Blorbo himself had never done anything bad ever, and we will reinterpret all of canon through this lens and divide the cast into Camp A (who understand Blorbo is perfect) and Camp B (monsters to be utterly condemned)

BUT

Sometimes you find a writer who has done this for, like, a D-list minor character, and suddenly the heroes who saved the world several times are having their worth defined by whether said world-saving involved being nice to this one random dude or being mean to him. Because said random dude has become this writer's Specialest Little Guy. THAT'S very funny actually.

[hijackedhoneybeeez]

Neil, after learning that Jean has a motorcycle: Hey Andrew, why don't you ride a motorcycle? It seems more your speed.

Andrew: They’re for freaks who are just looking for attention. 'Oh, look at me, I'm balancing on two wheels and committing several traffic violations.' Fuck off. Join the circus if you wanna be a freakshow and leave the rest of us the hell alone.

The Foxes, who have barely heard him rant about anything like that before :

Andrew:

Neil: You don't know how to ride a bike, do you?

Aaron: its completely fine to not know how to ride a bike. It's an arbitrary benchmark set on kids for little to no value. Knowing how to ride a bike doesn't benefit or hinder anyone in the long run, anyways. And do you KNOW how many people have life-altering accidents while riding a bike? Its practically lethal.

The Foxes:

Andrew:

Neil: you too, huh?