[xxziggystardust]

[psyducked]

I remember the second time I ever bottomed the guy used something he called “love garden” which was supposed to help with the pain because I said how much I hated bottoming the first time—and I was amazed! Although it still felt like taking a shit I at least didn’t feel like someone was digging in me like they were looking for a spoon in the garbage disposal. But the morning after I went to go poop and everything fell out of me with no push or anything and I noticed I had a one inch gape! 9 hours later! I spent the next 12 hours having panic attacks and considered how I would call my mom and explain to her that I needed my hole sewn up when at last I regained control and clenched back up.

Anyway, my man Elmo here is looking exactly how I looked when I went to inspect myself that morning and could slide 4 fingers in without blinking

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

What in god’s name did I just read,,,,

[judgejudyofficial]

world heritage post

[diet-poison]

Trying to send messages in Animal Crossing when your friend is really fast at typing

[quartercirclejab]

animal crossing is stressful

[rodrickheffeley]

if i crashed my ship in the ocean, i would simply not drown. rip to steve rogers but i’m different.

[marvel-lous-things]

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[phlynn]

Real life Simpsons intro

[hhhlryndrsn-deactivated20170831]

the weirdest thing i have ever watched

Best thing ever. 

[sasstronauuut-deactivated201906]

i am mesmerized by the details

[lagonegirl]

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

if ur dealing to the people on the left you’d just say “$45 a gram” and theyd be like “yeah bro sure dude i gotchu thats legitness ur the man” but the ppl on the right u gotta finesse like “my normal price is $15 a g but this stuff is called Cosmic Throat Cum Squirt Haze so the lowest i can go is $50″ and theyd b like “wow… so cultured… i cant wait to smoke this out of my native american themed bong…”

[wetorturedsomefolks]

finally some accuracy on this post

[luisonte]

[lyingfigure]

y’all working from home

[mistersmokinganddrinking-deacti]

SCREAM…..so what

[pics-that-make-you-go-hmm]

[pics-that-make-you-go-hmm]

[pics-that-make-you-go-hmm]

[valtsv]

crows aren't "death omens" or "evil" you fool they're just funky little dudes

[valtsv]

crows are simply omens for seeing a funky little guy going about his superb business and that's it

[domestic-harry]

IM SCREAMING

[theladyscribe]

when I was younger I didn’t understand why “may you live in interesting times” was considered a curse in ancient greece.

I get it now.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[mapsontheweb]

Countries mentioned in Wikipedia’s entry for “Baklava”

[executiveoutcomes-deactivated20]

Habitable zone