Breakaway | noun | a forward movement | Auston Matthews | Single mother A story of healing from an abusive relationship and mindset, where learning to trust again leads to understanding how to let your walls down and believe you're worthy of love.
Warnings: Mild language. WC: 4.7k
Saturday 13 September 2025 “Tegan, come on! We’ve gotta get going!”
Closing your eyes, in an attempt to calm your nerves, you waited for the four-year-old who had no sense of time - or of Toronto traffic - to come out of his room. Despite the fact that you had packed his gear bag last night - and got him in his base layers-, there was a sense of dread knowing that something would still be missing. It wasn’t because you had forgotten something, but because he loved pretending he was on the ice in his room, which was the reason that it wasn’t uncommon to find a glove or stick under the bed, or a jersey amongst his blankets.
“Tegan Shelby! We’re going to be late!”
“Coming!” He whined, dragging behind him the black bag, helmet already hanging off of his head. “Am I going to get to meet the Weafs today?”
It was impossible to stay aggravated at him for long, and his excitement over hockey could always melt your heart. He was only four.
“Mhm, there will be some players there today,” you reassured him, putting the bag over your shoulder.
“Who will be there?”
“I don’t know, baby. I’m sorry. You’ll find out when you get there, okay? Come on.”
Tegan shuffled past, looking up at you with eager anticipation hoping you’d reassure him that one of his favourite players would be in attendance. However, you didn’t want to give him false hope, as you also didn’t know who was going to be there either. It would be a surprise to the both of you.
“Will Auston be there?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart. The quicker we get there, the quicker you’ll find out, okay?”
Tegan huffed, waddling dramatically beside you, upset that you didn’t know the answer to his question. He got his pouting skill from you, something you hoped he’d grow out of sooner rather than later. Regardless, you’d smile outside of his view until you reached the door to your connecting garage.
“It’s storming and windy outside. We need to put your coat on, okay?”
Tegan’s nose scrunched, “I’m not cold.”
“You will be if you get wet. C’mon, just put on your coat and we’ll head into the city so you can skate.”
“I don’t wanna wear it!”
You arched an eyebrow after he stomped his foot; arms crossed like any stereotypical bratty child. The reserves of your patience were nearing empty but you should have seen this coming, and now you had to deal with the consequences of not leaving the house earlier.
“Tegan, please. You’re not going outside without your coat.”
“No!”
You sighed deeply, losing count of how many that had been in the last five minutes. “Coat, now, or we’re not going.”
Instantly, he broke out into tears; cheeks flushed red as he gasped for air for another long wail after another. For a minute, you let him get the emotions out but it continued far longer than you had hoped. With little time left to waste, you handed him his coat, pulled from the hook by the door and just waited. To your surprise, Tegan tugged the puffy outer layer over his warmup suit, sniffling as he did so; helmet still wobbling with each bitter movement.
Without another word between the both of you, you helped him into his car seat but he refused to look at you. It had hurt your feelings that he was mad at you, and you couldn’t blame him for not understanding the importance of needing a coat in this weather. Once in the driver seat, you’d peek at him in the rearview mirror, but his eyes were sharply turned towards the window with tear streaks glistening down his cheeks as you backed out of the garage.
The drive into the city was quiet despite you trying to ask him questions to get Tegan to talk, but he remained steadfast in his sour attitude. Stopped at a stop light, your mind wandered through options of if you had made the right call forcing him to wear the coat instead of just the track suit. No matter how you tried to find a less-than-confrontational situation, it all came back to the same conclusion: he needed the coat.
Tegan was forced to wait for you to open the door (thanks to the child lock) and get his gear from the trunk. His helmet was now dangling from his little fist that had a death grip on the chin strap. The wind was ripping through the parking garage, and to your surprise, Tegan was clinging to your leg and hiding his face from the sharp cold. With a free hand, you pulled the hood of his coat up over his head before lifting him to your hip. It was still a long walk to the rink entrance and now you had a gear bag over your left shoulder and a four-year-old on your other. Tegan laid his head against you as you struggled against the extra weight and the crosswinds threatening to topple you over. Being inside couldn’t come soon enough. Though you had tried to avoid it, you were late, and now you were making a longer (and slower) walk than normal. You knew you could have made Tegan walk himself, but sometimes it was easier to do the heavy lifting yourself.
“I was beginning to think that you weren’t going to make it.”
Silas Parker, Tegan’s Timbits coach helped you with the double-set of glass doors leading into the facility. He just smiled at you while you looked completely exhausted.
“Sorry, we’re running a little behind,” you remarked, finally putting Tegan’s feet back on the ground. His sniffles had stopped at least, his cheeks dry. It seemed as if his mood had completely turned around the moment he realised that he was at practice.
“It’s fine! You’ve got time. Ready for practice today, bud?”
Tegan nodded, “Yeah! Is Auston here?”
Silas smirked before answering the excited child, “Yes, Auston’s here. I’m guessing he’s your favourite player?”
“Yeah! He’s the best weaf on the team! I wanna wear his number when I go pwoah.”
Tegan’s minor speech impediment was adorable to you, and thankfully, you had reassurance from his doctor that it was very common for children his age to struggle with certain sounds. That being said, his pronunciation of leaf would always be the icing on the cake.
“I’m sure he’s inspired a lot of kids to wear that number,” Silas added, walking the both of you back towards the dressing rooms. “You’ll just have to prove you can wear it better than the rest of them, huh?”
“I can!”
“I’m sure you can, but first, we’ve gotta get you suited up!”
Where was that child’s excitement to get here, back at the house, you wondered. Tegan had practically ran down the halls to get ready after someone had finally answered him that Auston was somewhere in the building. A few of the other hockey moms said their hello’s to you on their way out of the room, leaving you to quickly get the squirming child in skates and pads as fast as you could.
“Mom! Auston’s here!”
You smiled warmly at him, though on the inside you were stressed beyond measure, “I heard, baby. I bet you’re going to have so much fun, but just keep your eyes up. There’s going to be more people on the ice than normal.”
“I will! Can we go now?”
With the last knot of his laces, you were both upright and finally off to the ice. Tegan was ready to skate and you were ready for a bottle of wine. Silas took over after the walk down the tunnel, helping the small child onto the ice while you went off to find a seat with the girls.
“You look so tired.” Your best friend patted the seat beside her as you walked up from ice level.
You simply rolled your shoulders forward and joined her. It felt so nice to sit down again and just have an hour to relax.
“I am. Today has been so Monday-coded.”
Holly smirked, “But babe, it’s Tuesday.”
“Don’t remind me,” you exhaled. “I just need the rest of today to be easy and to get to tomorrow.”
“What’s tomorrow?”
You paused, “Wednesday.”
“Fair,” she replied nonchalantly.
Like clockwork, you both giggled before looking forward towards the ice. There they were: the entire Leafs roster, dressed down and gathered in small groups around the ice with a gaggle of peewee hockey players shuffling around them.
Your eyes locked onto your son, who was very obviously scanning the ice for Auston. His little feet were working overtime to catch up with the rest of his friends, and once he collided with their little assembly, Silas called order to practice.
“Who was Tegan most excited to see today?”
“Auston,” you replied, eyes still forward, looking for him yourself since it had been confirmed the team’s captain had taken time out of his busy schedule to be there.
Holly side-eyed you but you didn’t see it till after she spoke, “That who you’re looking for right now?”
“Shut up!”
Her cackle made your cheeks flush. You hadn’t actually thought about it; sure he was attractive, but it hadn’t set in yet that you were mere feet from him and that your son was actually getting the opportunity to skate with him.
“I mean, just look at that… Hot damn!”
Fighting back the urge to snort at what she mumbled, you knew exactly what she was referring to. It wasn’t hard to overlook…especially in those black sweats, but that was besides the point! You were there for your son to make a lasting, core memory, not objectify attractive hockey players on their days off. However, it was a nice addition to the usual goings-on of Timbits practices.
“So what exactly are they doing today?” You asked.
“What Silas told me, was they they’re going to get matched up with one of the guys for the day. Kind of like one-on-one instruction, I guess? Probably just going to be a lot of nothing learned today,” she laughed. “As long as Finn is tired out by the end of it, it’s good enough for me. He asked me, on the drive over, if Mitch was going to be here and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he was in…well, you know.”
“Ugh, you don’t have to say it… Still can’t get over that. Tegan threw the biggest screaming fit when I told him he needed to put his coat on before we left the house. I’m talking a foot stomping, arms crossed fit! I felt bad, because he wouldn’t talk or even look at me on the ride over here, but it was too cold and windy to just be in a track suit.”
“Absolutely. You did the right thing. He’ll understand at some point how nice coats are. Finn’s favourite thing is taking off his shoes in the car, but of course, he’ll keep his skates on… Half the time I can’t get him to take them off!”
“If Tegan could sleep in his jersey, he would. The kid pretends the whole house is an ice rink. He’s always sliding across the floor, hitting mini-sticks off the walls. My landlord is not going to give me my deposit back.”
“Felt.”
After about ten minutes of a speech by Coach Silas, the boys began getting paired up with members of the Leafs. The players drew a name from a bag, and everyone split off to little areas around the rink.
“I wonder who Finn is going to get,” Holly said softly, seeing that her son was still standing there, looking around like he had been forgotten. “Oh boy… he got Stollie. Girl, pray for my bank account. He’s going to beg me to be a goalie after this…”
You hadn’t heard half of what she had said, simply because you had just witnessed your son doing baby hops after seeing Auston make strides over to him. Auston Matthews, the player your son couldn’t stop talking about, was going to be his mentor for the day. What dumb luck was this?
“Well, I bet your son is happy,” sneered one of the hockey moms from a couple rows ahead of you and Holly. The look she flashed you before she turned back around could have peeled paint. Kristi Holloway, a failed hockey player in her own right had taken to living vicariously through her son Spencer. The poor boy was already faced with the unreal task of perfectionism and it broke your heart also because that kid was one of the sweeter ones on the team.
The two of you said nothing until she was facing the ice again.
“I hope when Spencer is older, he wastes so much of her money and then just decides he doesn’t want to play anymore,” you mocked, and to Holly’s satisfaction she chimed in with a similar retort.
“I hope he puts her in so much debt.”
Down on the ice, Tegan couldn’t stop staring up at Auston who would always return the grin, placing his hand atop the boy’s helmet while Silas welcomed the players to their meager rink.
“Ready, buddy?” Auston asked, once given the green light for their modified practice to begin.
“Uh-huh!”
Auston bumped the puck towards Tegan who whiffed the rebound which caused the child to have to redirect his wobbly feet.
“I sorry!” Tegan exclaimed, trying everything he could to impress his favourite captain. Auston, only smiled, feeling bad that he had maybe passed the child too hard of a pass.
“Take your time,” he said, “You’re alright.”
Tegan got himself turned around and got the puck under control, but Auston had his concentration on Tegan interrupted when the sounds of two yelling boys happened to his right. The fight wasn’t enough to falter Tegan who had his head down and ultra-focused on the puck, but because of that, he didn’t realise how close he was to Auston’s position. Right into the back of his legs Tegan went, and right on his butt he fell into the ice. Auston, feeling the nudge, looked back around to find a wailing child at his feet.
“Aw, you’re alright buddy, you’re alright,” he cooed, kneeling down to check on the boy. Tegan had fallen with one of his legs underneath him, due to the mid-stride collision. “Are you okay?”
Tegan just continued to cry, with no words of any coherence audible.
“Can I pick you up,” Auston asked, waiting for the nod he eventually got. “You’re okay, I promise. How about we just skate around for a minute, huh?”
Once again, the small boy agreed to the invitation and Auston gently lifted the boy onto his hip.
“I’m sorry you got hurt, buddy. Sure you’re okay?”
Seeing your son hit the ice like he did, instantly made you jump to your feet and hurry back down towards ice entry. Kristi’s snickers as you sprinted down the stairs made your blood boil but you’d corner her later and give her a piece of your mind. For now, Tegan was your only priority. While Silas was still trying to police the two fighting boys, you watched Auston make his way around the boards, his attention on your son completely.
Your heart was racing, but Auston’s smile somehow made you relax a little. His speed was slow and careful, not hurried or at all panicked. The door opened, Auston stepped through and made eye contact with you.
“I just looked away for a second. I’m sorry,” Auston said, still holding Tegan as he draped himself over Auston’s shoulder.
“It’s alright,” you soothed, walking closer to him, putting a hand on Tegan’s back. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”
Further over Auston’s shoulder he hid himself, almost like he was remembering he was still mad at you. Auston, while you were trying to console your son, just looked at you and grinned.
“Come here, baby,” you said softly, trying to carefully peel him off of the taller man, but the boy wasn’t having any of it. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s alright,” Auston replied, still with a stupid grin on his face. “I just hope he’s alright.”
“I’m sure he’s fine,” you tried to reassure. “Come on, Tegan.”
Auston dropped his eyes for a second, “I don’t mind. You doing any better, buddy?”
Instantly, Tegan lifted his head to look Auston in the eye. His immediate reaction made you roll yours with an exasperated laugh.
“Such a little ham,” you said to him, giving his waist a little pinch. Tegan giggled, following the hiding of his face again.
“Can I try to take him back out? If you think he’s alright, obviously. I just want him to have a good day.”
“Oh, this,” you motioned to Auston holding Tegan, “is probably better to him than skating, at the moment. You’re his favourite, if that wasn’t obvious.”
“Well, he’s my favourite,” Auston winked. “I won’t take my eyes off of him this time.”
You parted ways with the boys, returning back to Holly who had a death glare on her face, aimed directly at Kristi.
“He okay?” She asked, brows still knitted together.
“Yeah, he was just milking it to have Auston carry him around. Little stinker. Things alright up here. I’m sensing a no.”
‘Queen B of the blue line down there was talking shit, saying that Tegan was too small to play, that he needs to learn how to skate first, and worst of all, that Auston should have just left him there to cry it out.”
Your blood was boiling yet again. It was one thing to bully another grown adult, but to be a woman in your early thirties, wishing ill will upon a baby was another. Katie bar the door, she was going to wish she kept those filler-filled lips shut.
“Remind me to corner her before practice is over.”
Holly smirked, “Will do!”
The rest of practice went off without another crying fit or scrum, but it did little to dampen the rage towards the woman six rows down from you. As everything winded down, the other moms began to get up from their seats and collect their children. To your devilish surprise, Kristi stayed behind, yapping on her phone as the arena emptied.
“Off you go,” Holly teased, anticipating the confrontation to come.
“Gonna make this quick.”
Timing it just right to snatch her before she turned the corner, you grabbed her by the hood which stopped her forward movement. When she spun around to see who had caused her the inconvenience, you threw all of your weight into pinning her against the plexiglass.
“What’s your problem?” Kristi grumbled, trying to push you off of her but it didn’t amount to much.
“My problem? You’re my problem, Kristi. Bullying a four-year-old because you’re jealous that your son didn’t get something you thought he was entitled to? You’re a goddamn joke! You’re supposed to be a mother, and here you are being absolutely disgusting towards my son; a child who has done absolutely nothing to you, and one of your son’s best friends!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, bullshit! You’ve done nothing today but take your jealous frustrations out on my family.”
“You’re fucking crazy, Y|N!” She deflected, shoving your hands from her shoulders. With a loud and audible huff, she scurried away into the tunnel while you breathed in deep sigh of relief.
“All that you were missing was a square punch to the center of her face,” you heard behind you.
Your fingers were trembling. Between the tiredness, stress, and sheer frustrations of the day, Kristi was lucky you didn’t throat punch her instead.
“Everything okay?” Silas said, returning to the ice after hearing the scuffle. Over his shoulder, stood Auston’s tall, 6’3” frame, with Tegan up in his arms again. Both men look concerned with Tegan seemingly asleep, to your relief.
Your face twisted slightly as you shook your head, “Well enough.”
“I’ll text you,” Holly whispered, passing you while you continued to smooth things over with Silas.
“Do I need to have a word with Kristi,” he asked, knowing how you were versus Kristi’s over-bearing personality. There had been many times where she had complained about things for her son’s advantage, and Silas knew she had the penchant for causing drama.
“It won’t do any good,” you laughed. “Plus, she’ll just deny anything happened like she did with me. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done what I did, but you should never say such things about someone else’s child like that.”
Silas just smiled while Auston gave you a concerned look, Tegan still oblivious to everything happening around him. “Not the first time,” he remarked. “I appreciate you at least waiting till everyone was pretty much gone.”
“I didn’t want to do it at all, but she just pushed me too far.”
Silas’ eyes fell closed in somber acknowledgement, “I understand. Maybe next week, pick a different section from practice?”
His suggestion cracked you up, “Oh, for sure.”
You finally made your way down the short set of stairs and closer to Auston. Tegan was, in fact, completely asleep and unaware of your behaviour. Which, for your sake, was a blessing. You could justify to other adults your need to be confrontational, but to a child the chore became a whole lot more difficult.
“I’ll see you next week, Y|N,” Silas added before skating off to gather the cones and mini nets from practice.
Alone with Auston, you felt awkward and almost nervous. Your nerves and motherly rage from before had allowed you to bypass the fact that you were so close to him, but now, well, that was a different story.
“He’s asleep, isn’t he?” You asked, biting your bottom lip in anxious anticipation. The kid was still dressed in his full uniform, skates and all. It wouldn’t be the first time he had been fastened in his carseat in pads and whatnot, but you still preferred him to be out of the sweaty clothes if possible.
Auston’s smile could light up a room, and also made your heart flutter. “I think so, yeah. Do you want me to help you with him?”
“If I can just get his skates off, that’s good enough. I’m so sorry.”
Again he just smiled and shook his head gently, “You’re good, really! He’s a sweet kid. I noticed he was getting pretty tired by the end of practice and I just wanted to help him off the ice. I’m pretty sure he was asleep before we got off the ice.”
“Yeah he’s really good at falling asleep almost instantly. Must be nice,” you laughed, doing everything you could to untie the thick knots from before, without hitting Auston or waking your son.
“He’s a sweet kid,” Auston remarked, watching you intently. “Loves to talk about hockey.”
His picking up on Tegan’s hockey obsession was an obvious one, indeed. You just hoped that he hadn’t annoyed the professional player too much.
“That’s an understatement,” you smirked, finally slipping the last skate from his tiny foot. “I hate to ask this of you, but would you mind holding him while I go get his bag? I won’t be but a second.”
“Do you want me to go with you so that woman doesn’t get in your face again?”
Auston’s sweet invitation stopped you in your tracks almost immediately. “Oh, you don’t have to do that! She’ll just try to get to talking to you so she can yap about it online later. Honestly, best that you just stay here…”
He smirked, “If you’re sure. I don’t mind. She can’t be any worse than some of the Toronto fans who take their aggressions out on me every night.”
“She’s not worth your time, Auston, really.”
His eyes narrowed playfully, “Well, what if I go get it for you instead?”
“You’ll never make it out of the lion’s den! They’ll eat you alive.”
“They didn’t tell us that,” he laughed. “If you’re sure. I really don’t mind if it saves you a headache. I mean, Tegan is asleep, so maybe they’d be a little more considerate.”
“I’d never live down why I couldn’t go get it myself. I’ll just pretend I’m on the phone, get it, get out.”
“Seems you have experience with this,” he added.
“Avoiding people? I’m a pro. I’ll be right back!”
Like Tegan when you had got here, you were now jogging down the hallway towards the dressing room; your high ponytail swishing from shoulder to shoulder as you did so. Just before the door, you grabbed your phone, and faked a phone call. You would have just called Holly but how awkward would that have been if someone clued into the conversation, being in the same room and all. Talking to yourself would just have to suffice.
“Yeah, sorry I couldn’t take your call before,” you said to no one, entering the room with tunnel vision fully equipped. You locked eyes with Holly and smiled. “No, you’re good. What’s going on?”
In the corner was Tegan’s bag, pretty much already ready to go, and you were thankful you always made it a habit of keeping everything contained. Today was not the day you wanted to have an Easter egg hunt of hockey equipment.
“Absolutely, I can schedule that meeting for tomorrow at eleven, no problem.” You gave your friend one last wave before exiting the room; you hadn’t even looked to see if Kristi was in the room, but you had a feeling she was. Out of sight, out of mind.
Once free from the need to fake a conversation, you hurried back to Auston who was gently bouncing Tegan as he paced the tunnel’s hallway while waiting for you to return. When he turned and saw you, the smile returned to his face once more.
“That didn’t take long,” he said, bridging the gap between the two of you.
“I made it a point not to linger. He still out?”
Auston nodded, “I think so. Will you be okay getting him back to your car?”
Once again, you sighed. You hadn’t thought about getting the sleepy child and the bulky gear bag back to your car without consequence, but there was no way you were going to take advantage of his kindness. He had already done enough for you by this point alone.
“Oh yeah! If I can just get him from you, I’ll be fine. I still can’t believe he fell asleep like this.”
Carefully, Auston lifted Tegan’s limp body from himself to yours. Amazingly, he remained asleep, only slightly kicking his feet like he was dreaming. The kid was heavy; heavier than you wanted to remember but this was your life for right now.
“Thank you so much for everything, Auston. You seriously made his dreams come true today. I can’t thank you enough.”
He was beaming, “I hope he had a good day. He was a fun kid to hang around. I picked a good one for sure.”
Auston’s words warmed your heart. You had made it a point to raise your son in a loving home after the nightmare he had been born into. It was reassuring, for someone who didn’t know those things about you and your ex, to say that you were raising a child who was enjoyable to be around.
“I appreciate that so much, Auston, thank you.” Tears were pricking your waterline as you thanked him. “Hopefully I can get him to a Leafs game soon, so he can see you again.”
“We could make that happen,” he assured. “He told me he had never been to a game before.”
“Hasn’t been in the cards, no. Maybe one day,” you replied in confidence. “Please, extend our thankfulness to your teammates for doing this for us today. I know you’re all trying to get ready for the season, but we all appreciate this opportunity for our kids. Not all of us are as well-off as others, so this means the world to them and us.”
“We love doing things for the kids and the community. It brings us a lot of purpose beyond just playing for the city. I’ll pass the word along at the next practice, for sure. Thanks. But,” he paused. “Are you sure you're okay?”
You nodded, smiling bashfully, “Yeah, I’ll just count this as my workout for the day.”
Next Chapter
