Sucks To Your Gender Roles Piggy

Abby. 27 year old artist. I make art undies pasties and sex toys. Poet seeking editor. Kinky, geeky, pansexual, genderqueer, poly. I have all of the fandoms. Books are more romantic than flowers.

[darkverrmin]

Geralt: Jaskier is so spoiled.

Lambert: ...You mean the Jaskier who follows you on foot while you're riding Roach?

Lambert: And the Jaskier who sleeps outside with you, even though he's human and sensitive to the cold?

Lambert: And the Jaskier who plays at taverns every night, after a long day of travel, so you can afford a room and a meal?

Lambert: And the Jaskier who switched bowls with you at dinner, because you "hate carrots"?

Geralt:

Geralt: so how's aiden

[captainmaxatx]

You mean Julian Alfred Pankratz viscount de lettonhove who travels on the road with little to no coin instead of being, you know, a viscount

[darkverrmin]

[asweetprologue]

lambert and eskel are wildly jealous of geralt having a bard. i mean whats not to like? free music on the road, hype man whenever you get into town, more coin, someone to talk to. geralt complains about him and they're both like LET ME HAVE HIM

geralt: .... why

eskel: he's talented

lambert: sharp tongue

eskel: helps out with coin

lambert: great ass

eskel: makes people love witchers wherever he goes

geralt: actually i've changed my mind fuck off

[imjusthereforqueenso]

Forget Planet of the Apes ....

And bring on Planet of the Racoons

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[berryesque]

the existence of gender neutral implies the existence of gender acidic and gender basic

[flareonfloof]

gender basic is just cis people

[clearnorthernskyy]

Not to be gay on main.... But all I want is to live in a small medieval town. I'm the town baker. My bakery is my home and I'm always wearing an apron and covered in flour.

Nextdoor is a forge, and I am very close with the blacksmith that works there. Every morning I bring him a freshly baked loaf of bread. As I hand it to him our hands touch briefly. His hands are rough, yet they're so careful and gentle with everything he touches. I secretly want him to be that gentle with me.

One day, he walks into my bakery, he's still sweaty from the intense heat of the forge. In his hands is a small dagger in it's sheath. He hands it to me and tells me it's to protect myself if needed.

I take the dagger out of it's sheath. It's beautifully made. There are intricate designs engraved into the metal. It's so much more complicated than anything else yeah blacksmith has ever made. It must've been so time consuming to make.

I look up at him and with just one look I understand why he's giving it to me. With one look we both understand that we love each other. He leans in and kisses me. It's so soft and sweet, and gentle.

He comes by every day to get a loaf of bread and kiss me. We keep our relationship a secret. And everyone wonders why neither of us have found wives. But we know exactly why. And we're completely content with being secret lovers.

Is that really too much to ask?

[mikerickson]

[official-josh]

[sourcefieldmix-deactivated20161]

good idea: marry a blacksmith so you can get free swords whenever 

[steelplatedhearts]

[omgweatherunderground]

Better idea; become a miner and then marry a blacksmith so he can have the required materials for you to get free swords whenever. 

[ranma-official]

Make a harem and marry a full production chain

[sunspotpony]

Monopolygamy.

[dangerousnotbroken]

I mean, if your harem is full of blacksmiths would that make it a polyhammerous relationship?

[saltwasteland]

You could make a whole polyarmory

[tlirsgender]

You ever think about how crows are acting not unlike how early humans probably did and you're just like. Oh ok

[tlirsgender]

I saw a Thing one time about how the earliest sign of civilization is a healed femur because that shows that we were taking care of each other because if we Didn't a broken leg would mean you Die because you can't. Do things

And I was thinking about this and I remembered also seeing an article about this one mated pair of crows where one of them broke its beak and thus couldn't properly feed itself on its own. So the other one helps

So basically I have connected the two dots ("you didn't connect shit") I've connected them

And also they not only use tools but teach each other how to construct them, so uh

Really makes you think

[tlirsgender]

Realistically I know immortality would kinda suck but I'd love to see where crows are going with this

[arsnof]

Plus it would be amazing to see a crow wearing one of those little leopard print singles like on the Flintstones.

[yesterdaysprint]

The Evening World, New York, November 16, 1888

[kipplekipple]

Help

My neighbour always does nice and helpful things so I sent her a birthday card and some chocolates, and she IMMEDIATELY ruined the balance by cutting down all the weeds in my front garden

What is my next step? Is it flowers? I'm already crocheting her a shawl.

I can't lose this war.

[cipheramnesia]

you have to escalate to pie

[xxxabbynormalxxx]

Or you can resort to the dreaded casserole. Make sure to use a disposable pie tin or casserole dish or she will return it full

[nintendette]

DeviantArt and the USPS partner to make physical DeviantStamps that are valid postage stamps

[m4ge-deactivated20210331]

[freakxwannaxbe]

There is an old belief in Serbian villages and small towns that certain pumpkins (and watermelons), when left outside during a full moon, will turn in to a vampire.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

☆Patreon ☆ Commission info ☆ Buy me coffee ☆ Twitter ☆ Instagram☆

[lovingempress]

*whisper chants* vampire pumpkin vampire pumpkins vampire pumpkins

[shieldmaiden19]

This is the quality fall shit I’m here for

[severalowls]

I think it’s great that Pumpkins (and other squash) were only introduced to Europe around 1600 and the Serbs wasted absolutely no time blaming them for their problems.

[ampervadasz]

[bigwordsandsharpedges]

When I was a kid, I thought those pillars went down to the sea floor.

In reality, they usually go down to some large submerged floats.

[kasaron]

I dislike this. 

[isensmith]

[cipheramnesia]

Maxiskirts are the best because you can dress real slutty under em and no one can tell.

[cipheramnesia]

My Fishnets Have Been Shredded And So Have I

[xxxabbynormalxxx]

I read this as marxists

[mossy-suggestions]

may your soul be overgrown with moss. may your veins fill with rainwater and your lungs swell with flowers.

[marmalade-cabin]

is this a curse or blessing?? either way lay it on me boys

[animatedamerican]

gimme the peat, boys, and free my soul

[morepopcornplease]

i wanna get lost in a mossy knoll

and dri f t  a  w   a    y   .   .     .

[twilightown]

CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING

EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I COULD FLY

CAN’T U FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST, I WANT THIS TO LAST

NEED YOU BY MY SIDE

[the-husbando]

This is the closest gif that can really capture the utter chaotic energy that is released when people hear this song

[awwww-cute]

[tamashiihiroka-deactivated20200]

Two deer. Not just one. Two of them made this mistake

[spelunk]

ihop stands for international house of pussy

[phoenixheir]

No it doesn’t

[spelunk]

yes it does