the blog of xyph0s

I am a pretty average adult with a sense of humor that ranges from "weird" to "going to hell". Take a look through my blogs/reposts and you'll get a good handle at my personality

[thedogeveryonehates]

new fav video just dropped

[himbodiaz]

would y’all ever date someone with the same name as you?

[hmslusitania]

I’m sorry for adding directly to a post but I went to a wedding once where the groom’s name was Loren and the bride’s name was Lauren and at the end the officiant was all “introducing Loren [surname] and Lauren [surname], husband and wife” and the entire assembled lost it

[tevankinkley]

also sorry for adding on but at my high school there was a Dominic and a Dominique who were dating and everyone just called them “Dom and Dommer” which is honestly the funniest shit ever

[faerytale-wings]

My parents are both named Terry (spelled differently) but I’m pretty sure that’s one of the reasons my mom never changed her last name.

People would call and ask for Terry and child me would be like “boy or girl?” And they’d panic and hang up. My mom found this endlessly amusing.

[tungledotfuck]

Why would you leave this GOLD in the tags??

[faerytale-wings]

Had to submit it to the tags for peer review

[couchnapping]

flaccid penis... it's chic, it's hip, it's the next big thing

[couchnapping]

it's the next thing

[phantomrose96]

If you are a PET trying to help your HUMAN just remember the acronym WAY

Are you in the Way?

Are you in the wAy?

Are you in the waY?

If the answer to all three is YES then you are HELPING 👏👏👏

[prokopetz]

You'd think "don't use a fictional creature as an allegory for oppressed minorities and as a horde of vile automatons that it's always okay to kill in the same work at the same time" would be a no brainer, but roughly 70% of all works featuring goblins and/or robots demonstrate otherwise.

[bicokun]

Star Wars using this exact formula with droids blows my mind to this day. Like, they really can’t decide whether they’re actually an oppressed group or genuinely mindless automatons whose inner lives we don’t need to worry about.

[prokopetz]

Given that Solo: A Star Wars Story features a droid liberation activist who's very obviously characterised as a mean-spirited parody of a women's rights activist and whose concerns are consistently treated as misguided and laughable (before they blow her up and use her brain to repair a spaceship), I'm not sure it's that the writers can't decide so much as it that they don't want to say what they really think out loud.

[lillie-garden]

Never ever ever eat raw white onion and then smoke cigarette.

[helpeverythingiscats]

The gnomes beat the shit out of you again?

[lillie-garden]

The gnomes beat the shit out of me again.

[glutko]

[krakenguts-deactivated20140908]

I wish none of you were sad

[miruinnuial]

I wish there was peace and justice and wealth and happiness and good people around all of the planet

[krakenguts-deactivated20140908]

try and one up me again bitch

[infertilityidol]

*at a therapy appointment* I mean sure, but what am I gonna do (doing a stupid voice) "heal?" *rolls my eyes and makes a jacking off motion*

[mino2aur]

[prokopetz]

Having been Very Online in the mid 1990s is rough because half of your formative influences are like "yeah, this Flash video engages in pop culture deconstruction that's strikingly topical even thirty years later and did things to my vocabulary that persist to this day, and I can literally never recommend it to anyone because its core premise is a level of homophobic ordinarily observed only under laboratory conditions".

[prokopetz]

Them: Hey, you were around for the first wave of real webcomics. Which one was your favourite?

Me:

[prokopetz]

#thank god homestar runner aged well (via @shibascarf)

Homestar Runner is the way that it is in large part because it's a response to the 90s edgelord bullshit I'm talking about; while the characters had earlier appeared in print, the Flash animated version that everybody remembers didn't debut until January of 2000. If it's aged well, that isn't an accident – it's a product of its authors looking at the state of 1990s Internet culture and making a conscious decision to be Not That.

[64mpg]

actually i’ve done a lot of work on myself since we last spoke and i wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself and that i hope you die

[destiel-news-network]

(Source)

Graham was a homophobe and was seen as one of Trump's closest allies in the Senate. His death will not meaningfully impact the partisan balance of the Senate, as South Carolina's Republican governor can immediately appoint a replacement to serve out the remainder of his term.

Graham's death, which was unexpected, comes as the nation is expectantly waiting for the death of former Republican Senate Leader Sen. Mitch McConnell — who was hospitalized weeks ago and has mysteriously not made any public appearances, statements, or updates since.

[pankendev]

the generational divide marches on. i have never jerked off to playboy bunnies. and i will never jerk off to roblox porn

[pankendev]

"there's roblox porn????" this website really is a millennial safe space

[infertilityidol]

[namethatghostling]

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

[namethatghostling]

no more rum and cokes with bums and jokes, have a bloody mary with guy thats scary

[drizzledrawings]

Me when a character I like dies in the characters are gonna die show: how could this happen.... darn it.... I didnt see this coming