[chrisweedpiano]

one of my favorite posts of all time

[teafromthemicrowave]

Look whom I found at pride today

[fiollaigean]

how to cover letter:

polite greeting (it's me, boy)

introduction (i'm the ps5)

establish credentials (speaking to you inside your brain)

establish purpose (leave the girl, we don't need her)

describe what you can bring to the organization (cowboy times in space)

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

First humans ever to leave the solar system suddenly drop out of communications and the ship can't be found with any equipment. After one month of no contact their home countries start reluctantly holding funerals for the space heroes only for them all to turn up, healthy, well fed and extremely disoriented, in the middle of Tokyo, talking about alien abduction. Turns out that aliens found the poor humans straying out of their solar system, presumably lost, and took them to Alien Wildlife Rehabilitation before dumping them back in the middle of their native habitat.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#bonus points if none if the crew are Japanese#aliens just dropped where they thought was best

I literally just googled "city with the highest population"

[marlynnofmany]

I’ll bet they have cool new tattoos that turn out to be tracking devices too. Just in case these spirited individuals try to make another break for it.

[teal-deer]

... do the tats make them stupid popular, like that time scientists gave birds tracker anklets and it accidentally made them ultra fuckable

[marlynnofmany]

Let’s say yes. Those alien scientists are learning so much, and none of it is accurate.

[kvothes]

oh someone told me something useful yesterday. she said she’s been thinking about her tbr less as an overwhelming list of books she Must Read and more like she’s cultivating a wine cellar. making a rich collection that will provide the perfect thing when needed. a bottle will get uncorked when the time is right

[beardedmrbean]

[wilwheaton]

[entelechies]

#my brain deciding what information to retain

[crazysodomite]

The popularity of the "incompetent stupid piece of shit husband and competent wife who loves him anyways" trope in media is a psyop to make women believe its normal to settle for an incompetent stupid piece of shit husband

[kleeklutch]

[rikusqueenofhearts]

[vaspider]

As always, Happy Pride to Mama Lynn.

[cryptonature]

I was lying in the leaf litter today when some moss spoke to me. "Excuse me, do you know the species of this fallen log beneath me?" asked the moss. "Hmm. No. Sorry, I'm a little fuzzy on logs," I said. "What a coincidence," said the moss. "I'm a little fuzzy on logs too."

[its-where-the-wild-things-are]

[thoodleoo]

really love this ancient letter from a kid named theon to his dad (p. ox. 1 119) because it's so ridiculously salty and rude ("WOW dad it was SO COOL of you NOT to take me to alexandria with you"), incredibly demanding ("bring me with you or i'm going to stop eating and drinking and i'll never speak to you again") and then ends with the appropriately polite typical close to a letter ("i pray that you are in good health"). truly exactly what i would expect from a moody child.

[vacuously-true]

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

[nudityandnerdery]

[southfarthing]

[thedogeveryonehates]

[moniquill]

[blighted-vessel]

you only love me for my brainwashing spores that make everyone love me. hmph

[cerastes]

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

[cerastes]

This sux00rz…

[notbecauseofvictories]

SUPER TOP SECRET WORK HACK!!! If you explicitly tell people, "You are an adult and a professional, I trust you to do your job; just keep me in the loop and let me know if there are questions," then thank and/or praise them when they accomplish your mutual goals? they will keep doing things for and with you. Sometimes they will even side with you over other people in the organization, because you've taken the time to establish that baseline respect and trust! hashtag winning or whatever

[sonneillonv]

I just want to say this can work with kids too, mostly because of the 'respect' thing.

This past month, Parks & Rec has been doing a lot of work on the field adjacent to my school. They have trucks with flatbeds, mowing/tree-cutting/postholing machinery, etc. And when they arrived, I (campus monitor) was told I would need to herd the kids away from the trucks/machinery and basically prevent them from creating a dangerous situation.

So when recess came around and the kids stampeded out the door I held them up and I said (being funny but at the same time serious, you know how it is, kids listen better if you're funny)

"Okay, I know that you're all smart AND mature, right? And talented and good looking? Definitely the smartest and most talented class in this school? (I say this to every class, they're all 'my favorites'.) And because you're SO intelligent and mature, I don't need to actually TELL you that these guys have vehicles and machinery that you need to stay clear of, right? Because I know you figured that out already, and I also know that YOU know how sad I would be if any of you were run over, or squashed, or had a pole fall on you. I would be SO SAD, like, I would probably have to lie down on the floor and cry. So you're not going to make me cry, right? I can trust you to stay away from the trucks and machines no matter where they are on the field? Because you're wonderful and amazing? My favorites? My inspiration?"

And they're laughing at me of course, because I'm being so dramatic. Some of them are "Yes, and-"ing my dramatics and inventing more involved mourning processes I should undertake if any of them get run over. Some of them are yelling at me that they are NOT mature yet and they are VERY STUPID and I should know this.

It's been three weeks. We had one conversation about it. None of them have gone anywhere near the trucks. This is actually in excess of the typical elementary-schooler's working memory and I'm very proud of them. I haven't had to blow the whistle at ONE person for getting too close even when the trucks were literally 40 feet from the actual playground.

"I know I can trust you to do this", even when phrased with humor, is like a magic key that unlocks teamwork+cooperation.

[onbearfeet]

I usually phrased it to middle-schoolers as, "I was a weird artist before I was a teacher, so I don't understand how children work, really. So I am going to treat you guys like adults unless and until you give me a reason not to." It's amazing how far they'll go to keep that adult status.