All the way good.

These are things I like, things I think, and things I do. Available in public record.

[tenderstems]

i’ve watched this 20 times

[emzorzin4d]

This is the best impression of a British voice done by an American. I know that tone, that presenter voice over intonation.

[sunblinks-deactivated20190523]

[raisel-the-riveter]

I almost didn’t click this because I assumed it would be someone singing the altered lyrics and I can basically figure out what that would sound like

BUT NO, someone has instead the original song to go like this and it is, very good

[florenceandisabellamachine-deac]

[the-witch-named-wesa]

Reblog to be blessed by the Florence of happiness and magick.

[neilcicierega]

[surprisebitch]

what the fuck was that

[crim-bat]

I’m not sorry

[sexycraisinthanos]

this is my favorite Star Wars post

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

So when Anakin Skywalker was a Jedi he looked like this

But turning to the dark side changed his physical appearance. Most notably his eyes, which became yellow (a very typical Sith transformation in many species)

And while I know that Wookies are not supposed to be able to be force sensitive and therefore cannot become Jedi or Sith, all I am saying is that

…. You know?

[alittleoptimistic]

There is literally no way I could have guessed where this post was heading

[mens-rights-activia]

Anyway, here’s why this is the best meme of the 2010’s

This meme is an internet staple that managed to be versatile, unproblematic, inclusive, and best of all one of the greatest examples of a shitpost. The humour was not in the grandeur, not in the references, not in the junxapositioning of labled words, nor in the relatability of it all. The humour is in the simplicity, the artistic composition of the original image, the three course meal of fashion that was served by the subject, and of course, the iconic pose that changed the way we see one’s hands clasped together with one’s feet shoulder-width apart.

This meme is a reflection of the average: middle class life in the ‘burbs; taking pictures at everyday landmarks such as the uneven sidewalk by your house or the tree you almost crashed into when you just got your learners permit; wearing your favourite matching top and bottom in a picture to show off the 18k gold plated wristwatch and loafers your nana got you for your birthday; the grandest joys in the most average of things.

In a way, I think deep down, we all know that Luciano did not actually have to do it to em, but we, as a society, are better off because he did

[buckyjoy11]

"In a way, I think deep down, we all know that Luciano did not actually have to do it to em, but we, as a society, are better off because he did"

[lockneth]

"the three course meal of fashion that was served by the subject"

[mens-rights-activia]

Btw to the ppl in the notes, that line was alluding to the sock tan as well

[allthingslinguistic]

“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” in Anglo-Saxon meter, by Philip Craig Chapman-Bell. Via Etymonline on Facebook, who says “An Internet classic; but I can no longer find it where I first found it (Cathy Ball’s Old English reference pages).”

Incipit gestis Rudolphi rangifer tarandus

Hwæt, Hrodulf readnosa hrandeor – Næfde þæt nieten unsciende næsðyrlas! Glitenode and gladode godlice nosgrisele. Ða hofberendas mid huscwordum hine gehefigodon; Nolden þa geneatas Hrodulf næftig To gomene hraniscum geador ætsomne. Þa in Cristesmæsseæfne stormigum clommum, Halga Claus þæt gemunde to him maðelode: “Neahfreond nihteage nosubeorhtende! Min hroden hrædwæn gelæd ðu, Hrodulf!” Ða gelufodon hira laddeor þa lyftflogan – Wæs glædnes and gliwdream; hornede sum gegieddode “Hwæt, Hrodulf readnosa hrandeor, Brad springð þin blæd: breme eart þu!”

Rendered literally into modern English:

Here begins the deeds of Rudolph, Tundra-Wanderer

Lo, Hrodulf the red-nosed reindeer – That beast didn’t have unshiny nostrils! The goodly nose-cartilage glittered and glowed. The hoof-bearers taunted him with proud words; The comrades wouldn’t allow wretched Hrodulf To join the reindeer games. Then, on Christmas Eve bound in storms Santa Claus remembered that, spoke formally to him: “Dear night-sighted friend, nose-bright one! You, Hrodulf, shall lead my adorned rapid-wagon!” Then the sky-flyers praised their lead-deer – There was gladness and music; one of the horned ones sang “Lo, Hrodulf the red-nosed reindeer, Your fame spreads broadly, you are renowned!”

[ms-demeanor]

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.

Featuring Helpful Sections such as:

Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them

Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone

What the Everloving Fuck is Probate

Some Simple Dos and Don’ts

Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials

How to plan a non-religious death party

So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.

It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.

I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.

Good luck!

(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)

[ethicalmemes]

That’s still a lot of trees #EthicalMemes

[grimthetransman]

Here is the link in case anyone wants to donate some trees!

https://teamtrees.org/

Help Us Plant 20 Million Trees - Join #TeamTrees

The official site of #TeamTrees. One dollar plants a tree...

[kedreeva]

They’re only about 1.2 million away, and a couple of weeks ago they were 4 million away. There’s a good chance that with a bit of noise made about this, they could rally for that home stretch. This would be a good time to tell your family, friends, co-workers about the project, as there are many people interested in donating to charities at this time of the year. Once you choose a donation amount, you can also select that it is a gift for someone else, if you’re interested in gift ideas.

If nothing else, please help pass on the news here!

[jeza-red]

They’re at almost 19 mil!!

[jazminesullivan]

DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD dir. James Bobin, 2019

[ysabelmystic]

There’s so much chaotic energy here

[stream]

Marriage Story (2019) dir. Noah Baumbach

[jimmypagestheremin]

One detail you could always expect to see in Queen albums was the “no synthesizers” thing but in Roger’s Fun in Space album you can find “157 synthesizers” in the notes

[rogermeddhoestaylor-deactivated]

Fun fact! - Queen put ‘no synthesisers’ on their albums not as a huge statement because they hated synthesisers but because people genuinely believed they were using synthesisers in their songs when it was actually just Roger doing some crazy shit with his voice, basically they said ‘no synthesisers’ as a flex on Roger’s vocals

[cariboucowboy-moved-deactivated]

Damn..Queen was really just like “no we don’t use synths, it’s just our drummer going fucking nuts as he always does”

[brian-maybe-not]

“Our drummer is feral and that’s something you’re going to have to live with”

[unseeliedyke-deactivated2021120]

@isitqueertho

[m86-deactivated20171116]

give the sailor moon dub a chance

[sailormoonsub]

“I am tuXEdo MASk!!!”

“hhhhhhhhhhhh”

*guitar riff*

“you are…..?”

*gasp*

“heistuxedomaskidon’tbelieveit”

[dawnbutterfly]

There’s a very specific emotion the tone of that last line conveys, and I can’t place what it is, but I feel it in my bones.

[darthsuki]

[kevinwada-deactivated20230323]

[nefepants]

This is cool as fuck

[hollowtones]

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all

[citizenjolras]

no no, let them speak

[whitepeopletwitter]

[injuries-in-dust]

Fun Fact, thats, more or less, something that wealthy people in China and Japan did, they were called “musical floorboards.” Designed to squeak when stood upon. A person could make noise all the way down a corridor.

The residents and servants knew which floorboards made a sound and avoided them. But a burglar, or assassin didn’t. If you heard the creaking of floorboards, you knew danger was coming.

Even better, despite what movies may show, a lot of the old west was founded by Chinese immigrants, so there could have been carpenters around who knew how to make the musical floorboards!

[apocalypticvalraven]

They were also called Nightingale Floors, and looking up to make sure I had the right term, I found they were super clever! They were more than just ill-fit boards or whatever makes floors creak normally, they actually used little metal bars under the boards placed into small holes in the boards to cause the creak.

[swan2swan]

The best things on the internet are when someone makes a joke and then Miss Frizzle rolls up for an educational adventure.

[fuckhugeoctopus]

I want one that rickrolls you