Back in the game

I'm fighting back depression, injury and self doubt. This is my story.

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

Catching up and other recaps

I haven’t written in a while, no time. Got a devastating call last Monday. Daughter in law’s mom died. In her apartment. We had to drop everything and go up north to help, as my son is still deployed. 

That totally derailed my workouts and eating. But it was only for two days. I got back on the horse on Thursday. Still dealing with the fall out of that woman's death.

She was homeless, crashing at her daughter's house. She was an alcoholic, basically drank herself to death. The kids couldn't pay for the whole thing, I helped.  Thank god for credit cards.

But this weeks goal is to stay on track and get through it all. But isn’t that the goal of every week. 

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

Down down and down

Had my third weigh in. Down another pound. A little disappointed it wasn’t more, but I am also on the rag. That always makes me bloat like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon!

Total of 9.2 pounds in 3 weeks. I am so close to the first 10-pound mark. My goal for next week will to be at 169. That is 3.8 pounds. I know it will be hard, but I am working most of next week, so that will keep my hands off the food. I can do this. 30.8 pounds to go!

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

Flying by

Had a busy weekend, and then took Monday off as a cardio rest day. Went to the coast. Walked up and down the beach and had lunch with my parents. 

Swamped at work today, but looking forward to the afternoon run. Need to clear my head. 

40 days until lift off...

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

6 weeks...and news

So, had my second weigh in. 173.8..down 2.4 pounds from last week. WHAT??

Yeah, I am still kinda shocked. In 2 weeks I am down 8 pounds. I am floored. The combination of IF and daily workouts are working. I am beyond thrilled. This seriously puts me ahead of schedule. I was aiming at losing a pound, maybe a pound and a half a week. Instead of being 40 pounds away, I am at 33. I can conceivably be at 161 by the time we leave for Vegas in 6 weeks. 

I have been working hard at staying positive and keeping my mind focused on the task at hand, but also thinking about the future. 6 weeks until vacation, and yeah I wasted so much time in the last year feeling sorry for myself. But I feel clearer and more direct.  I'm trying to figure out my new hair, so I am working on new styles.

So this week’s goal is to be down by 2 pounds, 171 and learn to control my hair. 

Should be simple, right? LOL!!! ♥

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

Friday Foleys

Well...it was a successful V-Day. I took Krispy Kreme’s to work and didn't eat any. Had a dozen in the house for the kids, and I didn’t eat any. Yeah, add that to having a bag of potato chips in the house and not eating those...Pretty happy with that.

I am feeling stronger. I feel my core is stronger. I think today I just feel strong.

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

Staying focused and on track

It is harder than it sounds. Just focus, drink water and eat light. FD! I was starving last night. Like my stomach was talking to me hungry. But I drank water and didn’t eat. Did my full 17-hour fast.

Jam-packed day today. Meetings all day, gym then to work tonight. Being busy helps with the pain of being hungry.

Did finally hear from Kid23! He is in Thailand. 44 days on the boat and he finally gets a day off. So happy to hear he is safe and doing well. He will be home sometime in the next 90 days. My boy!!!

So today’s goals are to work out and work it. Or work it while working out. Either way, I am working it!

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

7 weeks until vacation...

and the countdown really is on! Lots to do and lots to look forward to.

Hubby booked a day spa for us. Couples massages, pedicures...it really is happening!

Did a good run/walk today. 4.75 miles. First run in a while that didn’t hurt. Felt good! Sweated and sweated. 

The new haircut is amazing. Really love it. Looks professional, looks clean and sleek. I am really happy with it!

But working tonight. And I am looking forward to another busy week!

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

End of week wrap up

I didn’t write yesterday, I was super busy with work. I did go to the gym and put in a 4.60-mile run/walk. So that was good.

I did my first weigh in. 176.2. I am sure that weigh in is an amalgam of good timing, water loss, and hard work. I am taking it for a win, but I am not thinking I am going to lose 5.8 pounds each week. As great as that would be, it's not realistic. But my goals haven’t changed. I'm working out daily, keeping a positive mindset and moving forward. 

I have a hair cut scheduled for today. At a real salon, not a $15 hair cutting place. My first real salon cut! My to-do list is getting shorter. Started with the dentist, then teeth whitening, gym goals, and now hair! 

Next week is going to be a busy week. But I have my goals, I have my inner strength and I have determination. 

I can do this. 

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

Rest day, but no rest for me

Today started out with a bang. Got into an argument with someone I work with about what “up to” means. Same person that argued with me over the definition of ‘one per customer’. UGH!

But today is cardio rest day. I’m grocery shopping on my lunch break. The fun never ends.

Even though today is cardio rest, I am going to do some stretching and movement exercises. Nothing strenuous, but enough so I feel like I am doing something. 

IF is going ok. I was hungry when I came home last night. Didn’t snack or eat. I was starving when I woke up. Still haven’t eaten. I have 20 minutes left on my 17 hour fast. First thing will be a handful of almonds, and a bowl of blueberry oatmeal. And I can’t wait for it! 6 minutes left!

Other than that, work job #2 tonight and tomorrow. Snow is expected this weekend. And I am looking forward to a new hair cut on Saturday!

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

This is going to be my year

My knee hurts. But I did the crosstrainer for 60 minutes. Got all sweaty and nasty. But I did it.

I also made an appointment to have my hair cut on Saturday. It will be my first ever not Great Clips hair cut. First one in my entire life that I am paying more than $15 for. It will be an adventure.

Also making plans for a half day at a spa in Vegas. If this is my year, then I want to do it! 

Got my teeth bleaching strips in today. Doing that too. Went to the dentist a couple weeks ago for a cleaning. Another one of the things I did for me. Teeth were ok, but needed to be cleaned. So...now they are being whitened.

This is going to be my year!

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

I don’t wanna

I didn’t really want to work out today. A little tired, have to work tonight too. But I went. I ran/walked 4.65 miles and did squats, side lunges, calf raises and weighted good mornings. 

I was optimistic and made myself think about what I was doing. In 100 days, I will be able to look back and see the struggle, and realize that the work I put in then, paid off now.

But I do want tacos

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

Day two and a piece of advice

Advice...that is something I give out to everyone because they are always asking. Who knew I’d be the wise old crone?

I have to take care of myself. Sounds so simple but it isn’t. Between working 12-18 hours a day, dealing with kids, helping my autistic son, having to take care of a house and husband, I have very little energy left for myself. But part of this getting back to me is taking care of me and finding what I like.

6 months ago, we started planning a trip to Vegas. Just the hubby and me. We haven’t had a vacation together since before the kids. We went to Chicago for Kid23′s Navy graduation, but that wasn’t a good trip. This is a whole 7 days off of both jobs, in Vegas, no kids. We leave on a Monday, get home Friday, take Saturday and go to the coast and pick up kids on Sunday. I like that. I’ve never taken a full week off of work before. NEVER! 

So, with that now happening in 55 days, I have work on myself to do. Not just get my fat ass to the gym work, but mentally I need to prepare for 7 days of hubby. Straight. 7 fucking days of him in my face. Being on the introverted side, I will need to be able to run and hide for some quiet time.  That is going to be a tad bit harder. But I will need it.

On today’s agenda, I have 2h41m left on my 17 hr fast. Then I have a gym workout, then work tonight. Going to the gym a little on the early side, so that I don’t run into a time crunch at the end of the day. 

Today’s focus is not on losing weight or smiling or any of that crap. Today I will focus on remembering I am worth the time and I am worth the money. Because I am.

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

[yesbackinthegame-blog]

Getting back to me

I’m trying to get back to me. Sounds silly, being as old as I am. But at 43 I feel more lost than when I was in my 20′s. At least in my 20′s, I had an excuse. I was widowed. I was allowed to be as messy and mindless as I was. I’m in my 40′s now, what is my excuse?

Besides depression and injuries, I don’t know what my excuse is. Why I stopped caring, why I stopped being me. I am lucky now to be married to a man that accepts me as I am, lumps and flaws and hairy legs. But I am wanting more. I am needing more. I want to get back to me.

So this year, I am focusing on self-care. I work two jobs, I have three kids, one is homeschooled due to autism, and one is in the Navy (currently deployed) I have two dogs, two cats, two cars and one mortgage. I have infinite excuses as to why I can’t take care of myself. 

So, this is my journey. All 182 pounds of me. My goal is 142.

The first step is the hardest, but I can do this. I’ve done my meal prep for the week. I have my workouts figured out. Once I am down 20 pounds, I am going to add in weights. I am drinking 100 oz water a day, and cutting out refined sugars. I have a massive sweet tooth, so it will be a bit harder to get that done. 

But I deserve this. I am ready for this.