yipping all over these pees

i am cringe but i am free !!

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never posting wttt ever again these red sox are so bad going to write a fic where an bomb EXPLODES the NE and they NEVER play again

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no i did not enjoy the superb owl. no i did not enjoy it. yes i will be writing 1000 fics titled the GOVERNMENT of the USA EXPLODES washington and mass w his STUPID MIND.

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if i was to write a lovely niche au of familycore regions i would have it be one of gov's endless attempts to get them to acc do some fucking work (instead of fucking around barabuquing baking arguing w wildlife) he sets up some weird competetion where whoever records most minutes of meetings gets like a week off any work.

anyway no one cares bc no one listens to dc and then like halfway through the competition the west is like 4x as far ahead as anyone else theyre like what the fuck how are you doing this??? four corners like yah we record whenever we hang out. thats a meeting. asshole in suit didnt define what a meeting is that well.

then other regions RUSHING to get this week off. oh my god i am now forced to hang out w these people who are my friends and i love dearly. i hope we dont develop long lasting beautiful connections. omg.

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yeah loui calls flo his babygirl his princess his angel his beautiful girlfriend they find it adds to the multifaceted layer of The Bit when Hannibal Lector's Personal Satan comes leaping over. flo treats it like theyre lulling people into a sense of security before a crime little does he know loui is staring at him heart eyes whatever u say babygirl

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and theyll try and strike me down for this but i dont care i know the people would pay good money for an au where after decades of watching loui hopelessly defend flor at the table the matchmakers of the south are like 'fuck this, lets get u hooked up w/ someone that doesnt eat faces' and take loui out to try and meet someone. theyre dragging him around the clerb 'have you seen anyone uyo like?' thinking finally this years mardi gras wont have its own wikipedia page for list of crimes and loui is just moping 'i wish my girl was here so we could fuck up the dance floor and ruin everyones night' office style look into camera as they realze this man is unsaveable.

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i do love the idea of mass and cut being siblings bc thats literally his waluigi and it makes them so mad bc theyre kind of the same person in different fonts. imagine spending your whole life grinding english professoring lawyering being teh most uptight boring person in the world and constantly having this frat dude asshole making u look foolish to all your friends and not being able to kill him w hammers bc hes your brother. cut's blood pressure is so high and its all mass's fault. everytime mass is refered to as the smartest person in the ne u can see him seeth. mass 100% doing it on purpose bc what is this dudes fucking problem

anyway they bond for like 15 minutes when they discover theyre both really into tax evasion. for a few glorious minutes world peace is almost upon us. until its revealed mass does it for freedom reasons and cut just does it bc he likes money. 40000 injured 2000000 dead

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bringing this one back becuase its still funny theres a period of absolute carnage in the 70s when mass somehow finds out about every phd cut is going for and completes it before him. calls him weekly 'oh yeah engineering got that one already' it has cut actively becoming a threat to everyone around him.

cut retaliates by forcing him to be at table meetings to 'put his degrees to work'. mass forced to yield bc this interupts his favorite hobbies of getting drunk watching sports and yelling mean shit at opposing teams. they dont talk to each other for a decade.

[canadain-goose]

What if Florida knows geography but ONLY Yakko’s World geography

He doesn’t realize that Chekoslovakia, Yugoslavia, or the Soviet Union don’t exist anymore. He thinks Puerto Rico is a country. He still thinks there’s 2 yemens.

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#czechoslovakia mentioned i miss our brothers in union......#< czechoslovakia was a word in my 2nd grade statewide spelling bee. rest in diplomatic peace#reblogged

czechoslovakia was a mentioned in my boston geography class where i broke the news to a whole class of freshmen that it didn't exist anymore.

now canon mass doesnt know it broke up either

[canadain-goose]

What if Florida knows geography but ONLY Yakko’s World geography

He doesn’t realize that Chekoslovakia, Yugoslavia, or the Soviet Union don’t exist anymore. He thinks Puerto Rico is a country. He still thinks there’s 2 yemens.

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also go pats. love my beautiful city even if i hate this stupid sport

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many years ago, but not enough years that it stops being relevant, a very similar thing was happening in my parents home countries in regards to untrained thugs and people they deemed 'foreign'.

history proved them evil. history has not forgotten themself.

my continent was freed because people fought back. they protested. they organized. they protected who needed protecting. they didn't fall for the doom thinking-because there will always be more people who know whats right than wrong.

it isnt over yet.

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wttt four corners nichecanon the worst argument they ever had started because ari wouldnt stop responding to everything w 'goated' and coco got genuinely upset, not because it was annoying (it was) but because he thought he had a MUCH stronger connection to goats than ari and was offended he didn't get to call the goated shots. utah involved in the argument because someone in his church reads an article saying the word 'goated' means the devil and thinks arizona is trying to hex him. new mex involved because it was a slow wednesday and he likes to argue. they go like 2h without speaking and it emotionally ruins them.

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ari spends the entire two hours that theyre not speaking reposting sad family guy clips to the point that wash messages him like 'can u please get over urself ur fucking up my feed' and then colorado is inspired to apologize because cali starts talking to him loads of completely useless advice and hes like omg im going to be like this loser forever.

nev blocks them all on instagram because they start spamming hooray friendship yay back on their stories and then sees them all attached together at a meeting and blocks them in real life too

[canadain-goose]

Reblogging so everyone can see these tags:

But also, how does one block someone in real life lmao????

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she doesnt wave back when they alll start chanting vada vada vada vada when she comes to a meeting.

to normal people this is very low stakes but all four of them act like theyve been physically wounded

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top 4 reasons the four corners are NOT invited to the west parties

new fav west trope brought about by @lunearsatellite is that these four fools are like human kryptonite for everyone around them. i would make this into a full length fic..... if it were desire so.....

they cant dress. this is no secret. i have shared this gospel many a time these fools are unable to dress appropriately for any occasion. utah always in business casual. new mex went through a serious tinhat faze no one could knock him out of. colorado wearing no shirt no shoes claiming 'oh im used to mountain' and ari always in cargo shorts. they turned up to ore and wash's first of many weddings like this and even though he claimed not to be a bridezilla (despite overwhelming evidence) wash makes them sit in the carpark until they can find at least a tie between them. they expect utah to be more upset about this but as the wedding isnt held by a church hes decided its not even real. they only get upset when they realize theyve missed cake.

they have their own language and its impossible to understand. once when utah selfishly abandons them (he's taking care of his kids) (they wear black the whole week and act like hes died) (he messages them like every hour whilst hes gone) they come up with this annoying habit of yelling 100! every time theyre referenced as a group. gov finally gets annoyed enough to yell WHAT IS HAPPENING and teh three reveal theyve been yelling it becuase 'its 3/4 of a square'. cali bursts 9 blood vessels in his face trying not to explode they think 100 degrees is 3/4 of a sqare

theyre insufferable closeness making nev jealous. vada makes a terrible mistake she invites ari to her drunk bitch sesh about ex partners she hates (york, illi, etc) and ari's like yeah.... once i dreamt i broke up w new mex and he ran away with an alien..... and shes like 'ok but did it actually happen' and ari spends the rest of the party throwing up thinking about if it did. nev staring into the camaera office style. she accidently does it again at another party and new mex is like i had that dream too omg what if i get taken by aliens. she refuses to speak to them for week

theyre definitely tampering with the drinks. the punch will be full of liquor you cant do anything about that. its mostly so they have an excuse to drink in plain sight ('how will gov know? maybe we just love punch!'). normally not a problem for a party. very very quickly becomes a problem when it happens at the one party wy turns up to. wy admits he has feelings (friendship, tolerance) for the west and spends two decades recovering from this open display of affection.

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wttt four corners nichecanon the worst argument they ever had started because ari wouldnt stop responding to everything w 'goated' and coco got genuinely upset, not because it was annoying (it was) but because he thought he had a MUCH stronger connection to goats than ari and was offended he didn't get to call the goated shots. utah involved in the argument because someone in his church reads an article saying the word 'goated' means the devil and thinks arizona is trying to hex him. new mex involved because it was a slow wednesday and he likes to argue. they go like 2h without speaking and it emotionally ruins them.

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ari spends the entire two hours that theyre not speaking reposting sad family guy clips to the point that wash messages him like 'can u please get over urself ur fucking up my feed' and then colorado is inspired to apologize because cali starts talking to him loads of completely useless advice and hes like omg im going to be like this loser forever.

nev blocks them all on instagram because they start spamming hooray friendship yay back on their stories and then sees them all attached together at a meeting and blocks them in real life too

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wttt four corners nichecanon the worst argument they ever had started because ari wouldnt stop responding to everything w 'goated' and coco got genuinely upset, not because it was annoying (it was) but because he thought he had a MUCH stronger connection to goats than ari and was offended he didn't get to call the goated shots. utah involved in the argument because someone in his church reads an article saying the word 'goated' means the devil and thinks arizona is trying to hex him. new mex involved because it was a slow wednesday and he likes to argue. they go like 2h without speaking and it emotionally ruins them.

[smokestrangers]

Jersey and York are in my brain again

I just think that they should have a Thing of wanting what the other has. It's funny to everyone else most of the time, because it's just objects, usually clothes. A jacket, a pair of shoes, a beanie. Sometimes a little more than that, Jersey using York's favorite mug or York eating the leftovers he knew Jersey planned to have later.

It's not so funny when it becomes clear that people are also victim to this habit. When New York gets into arguments with Texas and he's close enough he can smell the southerner's cologne, you can be sure Jersey will end up in that same position not even a day later. When Nevada drags Jersey out to have some fun, York will either do the same thing to Nevada or he'll just invite himself to wherever they're going.

New York and New Jersey don't really know that they do this. They've been told, but they deny it because they just don't see it, which is unfortunate for all the victims of their sharing.

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think i only believe in nevjersey because i think about nevada turning up to meeting shes put time and effort into what shes wearing she looks amazing she looks presentable and Here He Comes The Rat Man wearing a tank top he's drawn a tie on

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#YESSSSS YOU GET IT#about to reuse several tags from a past post one sec#< i agree.... someone treat him right. new jersey is a bumbling fool for this latino with a fat ass. nevada finds this little man charming#new jersey bags a baddie with self esteem issues. entire world shocked by this insane pull game. how did he do it

glad everyone is understanding me so loud and so clear. the Ne sits him down for like an intervention 'jerz dude you have to stop lying about you and nev shes gonna find out' jersey's yelling IM NOT LYING!!!!! somehow rhode has footage of him asking her out hes just on his knees shouting PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and thats how a 5'5 guy bags a 6' baddie

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think i only believe in nevjersey because i think about nevada turning up to meeting shes put time and effort into what shes wearing she looks amazing she looks presentable and Here He Comes The Rat Man wearing a tank top he's drawn a tie on