your psychiatrist doesn't understand that mechanism
@ymirjotunn
before you follow / about me
cass (she) and crow (they/it) share this blog
florid hysteric and queercrip justice worker
this blog reaches ever-hopeful towards a politics of solace
i use captions to access images
its all bwcause youre bones arent attached to you. your bones dont connect to you. did you know that your body and your bones are separate. most people are in one piece but you my friend are detached of bone. ypure going home with a clean bill of health but you should know that your bones dont even touch the rest of you because of how they arent connected. im sending you home but if anyone asks, no tendons at all
updated the character limit on the blinkie maker! previously 15 characters, you can now attempt to cram a whopping 25 characters on your blinkies!! certain fonts and font sizes WILL cut off. use your best judgement ok?
@3liza do you have any sense the nasal cromolyn can cross the bbb? i definitely haven't found any direct evidence for it yet so my sense thus far has been "idk maybe" but curious what you think
cool interaction with the american healthcare system:
i have tachycardia. is it because of POTS or some other condition? no one knows. to get diagnosed for POTS OR to exclude it from diagnosis based on other information, the single most common dysautonomic condition in the world besides like, hayfever, i have gone through something like 10 general practitioners in as many years at my insurance-assigned clinic, who wont diagnose me because they dont have a tilt table on premises. a tilt table is a gigantic, extremely expensive piece of specialized equipment used to tilt patients. i know what youre thinking: "cant they just tilt the patient on a piece of plywood in the parking lot and take their pulse at the same time" and the answer is yes.
i know what else youre thinking: "arent there any other clinically-acceptable ways to diagnose POTS besides a tilt table?" the answer, surprisingly! is yes. NASA, in fact, to check and see if an astronaut got fucked up in space, they just have him lean against a wall for a bit and fiddle around with a heart monitor. this advanced space technology from the 1950s is unknown to American medical science based on the zero acknowledgement of any of the half-dozen times i have suggested it to general physicians
so naturally, instead, i was put on a year+ waiting list to see the only dysautonomia specialist in the city who has a tilt table. this one doctor also doesnt charge $600 cash per appointment (i already saw the $600 guy, he doesn't have a tilt table, but he gave me prescriptions without any diagnosis which means my insurance has been rejecting the prescriptions randomly for years). i still have tachycardia. sometimes i faint when i stand up, or when ive already been standing up. i drop cups and pencils and priceless faberge eggs in humorous ways with cartoon sounds effects because my grip strength randomly gives out. this is a problem because my last remaining option for employment is being an "artist", a type of petit bourgeoisie that owns a printer he can make zines with to sell on Etsy, which requiires a lot of typing and holding pencils and folding etc. they give me a propranolol prescription which helps with the tachycardia but makes my low blood pressure worse and eventually makes half my hair fall out, which is a problem because my other employment option is being visible on cmaera in various ways and also i like having hair. so i quit the propranolol. the tachycardia gets worse. Trump makes it gradually harder and then impossible to order the grey market antioxidant-antiischemic that has been helping with moving blood to the parts of my body that need it (apparently all of them) but isnt available in the usa by prescription or at all, but also isnt illegal to import. this is relevant because the NFL has destroyed anti-ischemic/hypoxic drug research in the country for decades because if people find out taking a 300lbs linebacker directly to the face dozens of times a week is bad for your brain, democracy will collapse. so i was sent to a cardiologist. the cardiologist also doesnt have a tilt table. im still on the dysautonomia clinic waiting list.
POTS is the single most common symptom of long covid. approximately 30% of people who get covid will get long covid for some period of time, or forever. so just on raw math we can expect slightly <30% of the american civilian population to currently, or at some point, have POTS. i find this interesting from a public health quantics perspective.
anyway the cardiologist tests my heart with a stick-on monitor for two weeks and also gives me prescriptions for ivabradine and midodrine, which are rejected by insurance. in the office he does a quick 12-lead ECG and finds right atrial enlargement, a type of heart defect that is common in people with shitty collagen because, duh, your heart gets all stretched out from overuse and being made of wet tissue paper.
the cardiologist doesnt tell me about the atrial enlargement because i guess its around the holidays so you know, understandable. probably busy with his family. the heart defect is usually caused by lifestyle factors i dont have (alcohol, cholesterol, etc), so there's nothing i can do about it. i find out about this heart defect from reading my own test result documents after wondering "hm i havent heard back about my test results i wonder if they found anything". as i do this and find the technician's notes about my shitty heart i think about someone's grandma who doesnt know how to use MyChart not being able to download and read and interpret a PDF and never finding out about her heart defect and then having a heart attack, which i assume happens daily.
i message the cardiologist and say, hello, i see you found a heart defect! great shot kid, dont get cocky. anyway do you think you can try prescribing the ivabradine again with the new diagnoses included so maybe insurance wont reject it. the nurse writes back and says i mean i guess we can try. whats their fax number (this is because insurance doesnt reject a medication to the doctor, they reject it by 1. not filling at the pharmacy and 2. not telling you about it except via paper mail you may or may not receive within several weeks). so the doctor does not have the fax number of insurance. ok. i find the rejection letter by some miracle and send the nurse the fax numbers for both "Grievances" and "Appeals" (two separate departments apparently), but note to her that the medication was rejected weeks ago and they wont honor appeals that occur more than 10 (ten) days after the claim is rejected. i, the patient with no medical billing or medical diagnostic qualifications, advise ****her **** (the cardiac nurse who is handling billing, with a college degree presumably) to skip the appeals fax and just 1. put the diagnoses of "palpitations" and "right atrial enlargement" on my medical file because i assume no one has bothered yet (i didnt say this part) and 2. submit a NEW prescription with the new diagnostics attached. the diagnostics that say "patient has heart condition and need drug to not faw down pls :[".
so she writes me back and says "Dr. Heartguy has decided to send a new prescription with the new diagnoses attached" thats great man im glad you thought of that. thats why youre the nurse and im the cringing pewling little ghoul that crawled into your office after spending 30 minutes (i counted) on hold in your phone tree on the way there because my $50 Uber ride (3 miles) was stuck in traffic. when i got to the front desk i said "Does your phone work?" and the receptionist, who was not busy, nor cradling 5 comically oversized 1960s analog phone receivers with tangled spiral wires while chainsmoking, gave me the ol' shit eyes and said "yes it does". "Oh good," i said politely, taking my phone away from my head and hitting End Call. "I was just on hold with you for half an hour on the way here so I'm glad your phone works." the Google Maps reviews for this clinic are 60%, and for the last ten years, complaints about the shitty receptionist and how the clinic simply does not pick up the phone. multiple reviewers state they had to reschedule heart surgery with another clinic specifically because they couldn't spend another day on hold. interesting! anyway i told the cardiologist about the phone thing and he said "yeah that's why i always see the patients even if the appointment is delayed". in the tones of helplessness usually reserved for someone being held captive by bandits
my tilt table test was negative. so i think we can just write this off as another hysterical white woman pretending to swoon for attention. hit the showers
no carceral sentiment or raised minimum sentence or punisher-logo-adjacent slogan or mob enacted justice could lower abuse rates 1% as well as just providing all people of all ages the financial and legal ability to separate themself from any living situation, regardless of familial or marital status, with ease and with the security of knowing they'll still be housed and fed
imo the way you feel about groups it's fully socially acceptable to hate (like children or polyamorous people, among others) is the canary in the coal mine for underlying bigoted beliefs. if you're only supportive of marginalized groups when it's cool to do so, probably you don't actually care about marginalized groups, you care about other people thinking you care
there are 1 trillion people in the notes of this post saying "yeah! i mean i hate kids but they should have rights!" you hate kids? you mean you hate all members of an oppressed group solely for their membership in this group? right. why do you hate them? because they can't take care of themselves and need help? because they don't understand social norms and can be "annoying" and disrespect boundaries as a result? because they can be messy? because they don't understand things in the same way as you do? that's awesome. how do you feel about disabled people btw
highly recommend "careful" as a communicative phrase with animals if you are a delicate and sickly cripple, invalid, convalescent etc who can be harmed with actions that would otherwise be normal. our cat has gotten very good at this and it has prevented many injuries but she also recognizes it as a warning of potentially causing harm through her effect on the environment. my pillow positioning is very fragile and if she is excited and rowdy she may walk on them but when warned with careful she will back right off and may even calm down slightly as she remembers her actions have consequences. she is especially good at recognizing cause and effect and also has a very high affinity for recognizing pain or injury in her people, so this may be more difficult in animals who don't have those traits to the extent she does, but it's been very helpful for me
From Homosexuality and Citizenship in Florida (1964), published to propose new laws that would “radically reduce the number of homosexuals preying upon the youth,” but which ended up being banned for its explicit content
i think people are starting to confuse class analysis with bioessentialism. like... no not all men do this, but Men as a constructed social class do do this. that's still okay to say. that is regular material analysis of the world around us.
this is true, but it is not bioessentialist. both cis & trans men WILL see a mouse & eat it. this is because it is in their best interest to eat mice. they benefit from eating mice. this is essential to their class position, not their biological makeup.
Every single one of the 599 refugees the US admitted last month was a white South African, according to data the State Department’s Bureau of Population released Friday.
In fact, so was every other refugee admitted this year. Since October 1, 2025, the US has accepted 6,668 refugees. Of those, 6,665 were white South Africans. Three—admitted last November—were from Afghanistan. No other refugees were admitted.
