Random Funny Stuff

A tumblelog by Stephen.

[grootficguy]

it must feel good as hell when you’re a horse and you take a big bite out of an apple like ttshoke

[rubensmuse]

your command over onomatopoeia is unmatched bestie

[amberautumnfaebrooke]

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

[sociallyawkwardrevolution]

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

[stitchthisfiona]

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

[cleolinda]

[cleolinda]

[lotus0kid]

[lotus0kid]

[pomme-poire-peche]

[lotus0kid]

[sashaforthewin]

[catchyvideos]

OP spongecake_cats on TikTok ♡

[depsidase]

[yeahisawitlikethreeweeksago]

[thedandeliongarden]

Damm, it really shows how consoles are just proprietary restricted PCs these days

[mevil]

[gordon-freeman-official]

[hellenhighwater]

Well those are allllmost done

[codebreakerblue]

question. why do you have 7 featureless grey monoliths in your driveway

[hellenhighwater]

There's eight actually but the last one is still in the garage

[jackfromthefairytale]

question. why do you have eight featureless grey monoliths

[hellenhighwater]

They're actually a really dark purple

[fishofthewoods]

question. why do you have seven featureless really dark purple monoliths in your driveway and an eighth in the garage

[hellenhighwater]

Some of them do have features though. There's holes and hinges and stuff, so I can put secrets in em

[nobodywasneverhere]

question. why do you have 8 really dark purple occasionally featureful monoliths

[hellenhighwater]

The heart wants what the heart wants

[fred-the-dinosaur]

this reads like a muppet sketch

[fred-the-dinosaur]

see? See!??!

[hellenhighwater]

You're not wrong

[hellenhighwater]

This post is less than six months old.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[yorgen-sh]

[wtf-scientific-papers]

Wang and Lai (2014)

[gemstone-gynoid]

[geyfrog]

*puts my hand on your shoulder* Don’t worry, I have your back. We’re gonna turn this crisis into a crwaswas

[cryptotheism]

Attributes of a guy I saw in Los Angeles today:

- riding a bike

- shirtless

- late 40s

- massive back tattoo of the virgin mary

- full sleeves with icons of the saints

- wearing a dinner plate sized brass amulet

- amulet had a fist-sized green jewel

- ski goggles

[poorlythoughtoutdescisions]

Grace, setting something on Rocky for a second because he needs his hands and Rockys the closest flat surface: Hold this for a sec

Rocky, absolutely aghast: Grace use rocky as TABLE question? Rocky is but furniture to Grace question? oh! oh! jail for Grace! jail for Grace for One Thousand Years!!!

[alma-de-naturaleza]

[shadythetortie]

A HAMMERHEAD????

[gallusrostromegalus]

I attended a campfire presentation by a park ranger who described Osprey as "both the pickiest and least picky eaters of all time."

They're the pickiest because they only eat things they can catch by plunging into at least six feet of water feet-first and are as close to their maximum carrying capacity as possible, to maximize calories-per-trip.

They're the Least Picky because so long as something fits those parameters, Osprey will go for it.

The ranger then showed us an extensive slide show of the local osprey in flight with their catches, which included: trout, carp, snakes, bass, eels, small sharks, ducks, surprisingly large catfish, a nerf football, muskrats, a summer sausage that fell off a boat, sneakers, a fish previously thought to be extinct in the area, a Barbie Doll, and another osprey.

[catasters]

[drtanner]

Teaching the baby ADVANCED TECHNIQUES

[notsoheadless]

[leggyboyjohnson]

let's get fucking WRECKED by mama

[naamahdarling]

[dogtoks]

[latchofficial]

[coldpapernightmare]

hey, that dogs whole job is to point at birds, and it is indeed pointing at a bird

What more do you want?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I love that the bird is so used to being pointed at it just doesn't give a shit

[mousegirlheart]

please dont leave your fox in the hamper too long or she'll go musty. it's better to put her straight in the washing machine

[mousegirlheart]

she's gonna be nice and clean :)

[goose-shoes]

Ok now what

[mousegirlheart]

okay lemme just

there we go :)