Random Funny Stuff

A tumblelog by Stephen.

[catasters]

[animentality]

[gifs-of-puppets]

The Muppet Show (1976-1981)

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[ceruleanfuckup]

Audio on for exactly the horrible noises you expect

[en-theos]

happy thursday everyone

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[jauntylittlefrillyboy]

I think I can confidently speak for all of us when I say we were all expecting a cat.

[heavensenthousepet]

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

[melonisopod]

[holy-leapin-splits-batman]

[re-dracula]

Sound designing a vampire being hit in the face with a shovel is... challenging. Who would've guessed.

[re-dracula]

#loony toons bonk and wilhelm scream

@scp-1296 you understand me

Visit Original Link

[nebulations]

[Audio transcript: Ben Galpin voicing Jonathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. He says, "There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face," followed by a cartoon "bonk" and the Wilhelm scream. End transcript]

[allstar13521]

Fucking perfect. No notes.

[clownandout]

[iconuk01]

Who does he think he is? Mark Hamill?

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

"Is that heavy?"

"No

No it is a VERY light saber"

[laughingsquid]

Two Cats Play Two Theremins at the Same Time

[tzikeh]

More examples of the WORST mansplaining here.

[useyourblinker]

This might be my favorite

[lotsofcatsandcheapwine]

This is mine

[stockyardsyndrome]

[epilepticsaints]

[puppygirlisland-deactivated2024]

as annoying and harmful as tiktok is i gotta hand it to them, they have a unique pvp system

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

It just keeps going

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

why is this tagged mature content

[fangirltothefullest]

You know how we on Tumblr play with images like dolls Tiktok is doing that with videos and I appreciate that.

[ruffboi-mags]

So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.

And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.

So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:

Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:

And it’s all just delightful.

But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.

As Prince Fucking Humperdink.

[movebackintime]

https://youtu.be/lR8pA_WV9QI

Here ya go

[laziestgirlintown]

In case you need a comfort watch and because Youtube search nowadays sucks rancid farts, I remind you of the Princess Bride Home Movie from the lockdown, starring everybody

[avidcollectorofdust]

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot