Ashes, Ashes

And assorted others We are Ta (she/they) & Jaime (they/it) 20s, system co-hosts

[your-lovely-ghost]

Imagine you’re a library coffee shop cashier. You’re closing and someone— pale, shaky, sweaty, could be diabetic for all you know— tells you they’re low blood sugar and asks for a scone in the case right beside you and offers you a 20$ bill.

You say no and give them 1 (one) sweetener packet

[animusbell]

celestia is such a funny character like she's constantly manipulating twilight and friends to do shit instead of just asking and you could arguably frame that as being bc she's a "god" and pushing fate to her design or whatever, except that she engages with the group like a normal and relatable person, which makes it more like villainous machinations, except 90% of this manipulation goes towards things like "I don't want my party to be boring shit again. put my little country girl blorbos in there with zero prep so they fuck it up bad"

[animusbell]

you think you've fucked anything up around princess celestia and she's like heh. no worries. all according to keikaku

[jukashi]

Celestia instantly makes more sense as a character when you ignore the princess stuff and remember that she's a 1000+ years old wizard. Of course she does manipulative trickster stuff to teach moral lessons and/or cause chaos to amuse herself, that's classic wizard behavior. Of course sometimes she's actually socially awkward and bad at personal relationships and has bad ideas that she thought were good that result in her eating shit embarrassing style, that's classic wizard behavior. Of course she lets the aristocrats and nobles run around being assholes she's still running on wizard advisor programming, she's basically trying to merlin the entire upper class of equestria instead of just a king and some knights. "Yeah uuhhh we'll release the incarnation of chaos himself from his ancient prison because we think this shy girl can be friends with him", terrible plan if you're thinking like a ruler, amazing plan if you're thinking like a wizard. Just look at Canterlot 'Castle' for five seconds and ask yourself if that's in any way a castle. No. Wizard tower, yes. Wizard.

[animusbell]

You are so right actually

[endcrys]

@crabussy

[kawfimachine]

MEET AND HUH???

[writing-prompt-s]

After accidentally summoning something not from this world, all you can think to ask is to breathe better. You’ve always had a breathing problem, and you want it gone. “Oh honey, That’s all?” she says, “you’re such a good soul, I can help with so much more. I’ll help, on the house, for you.”

[meanbuddhist]

learning lessons from my agonies #myagonies

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[girlgrimer]

Americans invented tbe worlds burgled and burglars to apply to robberies because the concept of losing their burger is the scariest thing to them

[girlgrimer]

Follow me for more wikipedia ^

[luimnigh]

This is shockingly close to the truth.

Both come from the Latin "burgus", meaning castle or fortified town. A burglar being someone who bypassed the security of fortifications.

Meanwhile burger comes via Hamburg, the burg of Hamma.

So burgers are named after fortifications, and burglars are the ones who bypass them.

[bubba-san]

The Hamburglar is a reunion of terms

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

god damn this is a QUILT (‘late day shadows’ by nancy messier)

[cyber-seagull404]

THIS IS A QUILT?!?!?!?

[your-lovely-ghost]

WHAT

[writing-prompt-s]

The prince has been cursed, forcing him to live the rest of his life as a woman. At least that's the story the royal family is going with, because apparently an "unbreakable genderswap curse" is (sadly) much more acceptable than the princess being trans.

[nealashitposts]

A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway

[janedrewfinally]

Accurate tags:

#and this is why no-fault divorce brings down the murder rate

[simplysnaps]

Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)

[knightesscordelia]

There are four categories of people you will meet: Underlings, superiors, rivals, and love interests. One of my underlings has been attempting to convince me of the existence of a fifth category, "friend", which appears to have no purpose. I suspect it is a ploy to get out of performing her duties.

[anais-sinclair-official]

If you have enough passion in your heart, superiors, rivals, and even some underlings can also be love interests.

[drcuriouslxix]

an underling love interest isn't a person they are a Toy

[estrogeon]

[katelyn-danger]

Quadrants

Quadrants are the four different types of romance recognized by trolls, first explained through exposition here. As humans are socialised to

Those unaware of history are doomed to repeat it.

[weaselknievel]

eating a bullet call that kirkish delight

[teaboot]

I will forever maintain that genuine fortune-telling and psychic medium junk is a load of bull, but as a person who owns tarot decks and regularly uses them as a tool for self-reflection I also have to admit that it does kind of work for that and it's very very funny when it does

Once I laid out some cards before I left the house and couldn't figure out an interpretation of the symbolism that made sense outside of "stop focusing and pay attention", which was of course absurd, so I was puzzling over that all the way to my bus stop and was so distracted the whole time that I walked face-first into a massive fucking spiderweb

[teaboot]

It always hits so good

[thepplprty]

Part of the reason why I'm so passionate about being against the whole 'kill all men' mindset is because it does affect me directly as a trans woman.

If you're the type of person who automatically assumes men are bad people, then I have news for you. That assumption isn't going to wait until I tell you I'm trans. You're going to—whether subconsciously or consciously—assume I am just a man, and even after I tell you I am a trans woman your perception of me will still be permanently altered.

Discriminatatory beliefs aren't going to wait for me to tell you my pronouns.

I grew up in Florida, where at the age of twelve I was a victim of terror campaigns telling adults that I was going to sexually assault their children in the bathrooms, specifically because of the reason that 'men are all evil.'

I went through way too much at the hands of those people to see practically every ""leftist"" online continuing to push that ideology. Unlearn it. Please. It directly affects us trans women, too.

I still, to this day, have internalized this ideology, and I cannot look at myself in the fucking mirror because I think to myself people see me as a threat, no one feels safe around me. As a direct result of 'all men are evil.'

It doesn't matter whether or not transfemmes are your intended target. You are hurting us just as much as you're hurting everyone else.

[anarchistmemedistro]

[enki2]

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me