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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@yourfriendlyneighborhoodmeme
constantly making airy offhand comments to my preferred younger son about how he’s next in line for the throne after his brother but he still hasn’t killed my detested firstborn for me. kids these days have no fucking initiative.
I keep sending them off on “boar hunts” together and wouldn’t you know? they keep coming back after with big smiles and boar heads and the unmistakable stench of brotherly camaraderie. what sick sad days are these!
two types of advisors
my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called "honorable knight" youll be zonked out of your gourd
me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit
5 minutes later: only in death does duty end
my buddy pacing: i am the sword and the hand that wields it
Luminous Labyrinths: New Zealand (Waitomo Glowworm Caves) by Derek Culver
Never forget what they took from us.
For those asking how it compares today
and also
Mid-year 2026 update (this is without tax):
Remember this the next time someone argues that raising the minimum wage will raise prices
been having health issues, in a foul mood, I DEMAND YOU TELL ME A STORY whilst i languish in bed like a sickly victorian lord wasting away from consumption (as my stoic but broad-shouldered valet gently wipes the sweat from my trembling brow)
i used to work at a Dollar General, and whenever we had stuff going on clearance we'd break out this long plastic table and set it up by the door. it was set up in such a way that a lot of people missed it walking in but took a little peek at it as they walked out. during one such clearance event a couple of elderly women came through my line to be checked out, as i'm bagging their items one of them noticed the clearance table. she was three apples tall and wearing a little floral dress and made the cutest little old lady sound when she saw the sale, "oooh ho ho! don't mind if i do," she said as she ambled over to the table, leaving her partner in groceries there to finish checking out. the woman in front of me was taller, and looked like she was strong all her life and could still probably throw down if she wanted. she watched her floral counterpart wander to the clearance table and said, "just can't take her anywhere," wholly exasperated, and then added, "but i do. she's my best friend, you know." and because small talk is part of the customer service gig, i asked if they'd been friends for a while, to which she replied, "we've been living together for thirty years." she was still watching her friend at the table while i bagged her stuff, and at this point she was smiling, reminiscing, i guess, "there isn't anyone i'd rather spend the rest of my life with," she said, "i'm so glad i got rid of my husband." and i was only half invested in this conversation since i was still scanning and bagging items, but that had me absolutely locked in. out of curiosity, i asked if she was divorced. singular beat of silence. "no." which had its implications, so i simply noted that it was probably a good riddance, and she happily agreed. she never outright admitted anything to me, of course, but yeah. that's the story of the elder lesbian who came to my store and admitted to the probable murder of her husband so she could live with her girlfriend.
passing in public makes me feel like white shrek
literally how it feels
hi this drives me crazy
canon is what happens in the text. e.g. merlin tries to poison morgana
a headcanon is a fact that you have personally made up as an elaboration of canon. it is your invention. e.g. i think morgana and gwen had a teenage lesbian situationship before the events of canon. or, i think modern morgana would love evanesence.
an interpretation is how one reads the existing text. it is not an invented fact nor is it a headcanon, it is a reading. e.g. i think merlin tries to poison morgana out of misplaced self-hatred. or, i think that one line was delivered with suppressed malice and shows a nuanced relationship.
fanon is the general fandom’s accepted headcanons and interpretations that elaborate or recontextualize canon. e.g. merlin is a badass waif and morgana is a bitch.
these are all different words with different meanings.
Also, for an interpretation to be valid it needs to be based on the text. It cannot just be a vibe. One can disagree on readings of the text, but if someone comes with quotes and/or historical context and you just have vibes, then sorry, your interpretation is inferior and may in fact just be a headcanon.
its friday bitches tonight finna be a movie
Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices
Dragon age origins is like…. You’re nineteen, new in town, and it’s your second day at pizza hut. You don’t even know how to work the register yet and you just watched your manager get carted off by the paramedics. You have no contact info for him, his next of kin, or corporate. The only other employee is the guy who’s been here for two weeks and is a bit of a doofus, and neither of you really know what you’re supposed to do now. You both desperately need this job though, and the doofus at least has a drivers license and *kiiinda* knows how to use the oven so you just. Shrug, and start taking orders and making pizzas and praying to god that the bills are on autopay.
And weirdly enough you’re really good at this: making pizzas and dealing with shitty customers and breaking up fights in the parking lot and pretending to be Duncan’s cousin on the phone so the utility company doesn’t cut off the power. But running a store is a lot of work for two dumb kids, so slowly you start accumulating a bunch of competent weirdos to help out, like the nun who left her convent because god told her to help you make pizzas, and the elderly school teacher who just survived a mass shooting, and the guy the papa johns down the street hired to run you over. And really there’s no way any of this should be working as well as it is - you’re absolutely committing fraud of some kind here - but you’ve managed to dodge the landlord every time he’s stopped by, and the health inspector never shows up to tell you to stop letting your dog hang out behind the counter and you’re all still kinda looking at each other and asking ‘are we allowed to just do this?’ before shrugging again and continuing to make pizzas, until somehow, through a series of unlikely technicalities, your doofus coworker ends up on the ballot for governor.
And after like five months of this the regional manager wanders in out of nowhere and you’re sure he’s about to chew your ass out for this mess, but it turns out he’s pretty chill and honestly kind of impressed with how you managed to keep the place up and running all on your own. So now you’re all thinking ‘thank god, there’s someone here who actually knows how to run a Pizza Hut’ only for him to get hit by a car two days later on the night of the Super Bowl.
Cmon you can’t just leave this in the tags
UNGRATEFUL tech companies are saying things like "turn off your ad blocker" and "we need your photo id" instead of "thank you so much for not just pirating our shit, youre so handsome"
I spread pro glasses propaganda. Glasses are hot. Glasses are cool. Glasses will help you see boobs.
homunculus let out into the yard for a few minutes of recreational getting thrown from the roof time
