let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
DEAR READER
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
we're not kids anymore.
izzy's playlists!
titsay
$LAYYYTER
NASA
Cosimo Galluzzi
Love Begins
Sade Olutola
art blog(derogatory)
Discoholic 🪩
macklin celebrini has autism
Andulka
Origami Around
No title available
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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@yourpalloops
still supremely pissy about Conophytum calculus
profoundly torn between wanting to eat one like an apple, or pouring a box of these down a staircase in the hope they’ll bounce like tennis balls
I'll listen to the tags, why ate you annoyed about this... thing, yeah I have no clue what it is.
you probably have more than the average number of teeth
......elaborate
most humans have 28-32 teeth (depending on whether they had wisdom teeth removed). But some people (especially children & older folks) have fewer than that, which brings the average aka mean down. so while the most common number of teeth (aka the mode) is either 28 or 32, the average is less than that. so if you have all your adult teeth (including or excluding the wisdom teeth), you have an above average number of teeth. felicitations!
(you also probably have an above average number of limbs and fingers)
My favorite variation of this is that, since there are people with one or even no arms, the average number of arms in humans is below 2.
The average number of human skeletons in any one body being more than 1 (because of pregnant people) is also good.
Not a dream
This guy from uni hit me up and started hitting on me and he kept telling me that I have such an innocent look to me and look way younger and that he thought I was 19 tops (he is 23 and I am 25 actually) which immediately gave me a bad vibe, long story short he followed me on Insta and we kept chatting there and then he randomly attacked me about having a public IG profile and not being bothered about having 3k followers, most of which I don't know personally, and when I kept telling him it really wasn't a problem for me and that I like my followers and 3k wasn't that much to begin with, he hit me with a "you're way different than I thought," and said stuff like he guesses that I am not as innocent as he thought (wtf dude) and that he doesn't approve of the content I post ?????? and doesnt't see a point of the two of us talking anymore??? like, okay creep, I'd rather not be talking to you either and I was just being polite to you but insulting my followers who have never done anything wrong to you and have been nothing but nice, respectful and supportive to me??? Fuck off
not to mention that this is what he deemed to be my scandalous posts
You know what this post caused? An avalanche!
13,000 of you followed me there out of pure spite. I got brave enough and revealed I run this blog to IRL people. It went well, though I am still nervous about it.
And as you can tell, I am still so scandalous!
I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH
YESSSSSSSSSSS FOR THE CREATOR OF GRONY FANFICS!!!
W-what
Did you just call one time I dreamt gaud
I AM SO CONFUSED
(Are you confused about being mistaken for gaud or grony fanfic?)
Both and also, somebody once told me that 'grony' stands for "gay brony" and all this time I thought... I must... I seem to actually not know what this grony thing is 🥲
Apparently "Grony" refers to shipping the Grinch and Tony the Tiger.
I think the Grony ship is based on the fact that the guy who voiced Tony the Tiger, also sang "You're a mean one, Mr.Ginch. " in How the the Grinch Stole Christmas and it became head cannon that it actually was a break up song. @one-time-i-dreamt
I'll just add that one time somebody submitted it as their homework and a nun was forced to read it
I think my world is spinning
now you know how the rest of us feel when we don’t see the blog title
Oh god the world's colliding I'm so sorry you had to find out like this
I'd just like to clarify that I do know who @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses is, I've seen their posts around and they made me laugh plenty of times, but I've never heard of... Grony
This happened bc you showed your face in this post.
Everytime one of your posts involves your face in some way, everything goes chaotic real fast.
Hey, at least I'm not being called an android, a hard boiled leg, nor are people weirded out by my fingers or thirsting over my feet! I consider this a win.
...have people been called hard boiled legs on here before?!?
I MEANT TO SAY EGG
This post apparently just constantly exists and it is ALWAYS a new punch to the gut each time it shows up
here I drew this
incredible!!!!!!!!!! id love to see more
okay
pleeeeease make this a merch design
Oh baby oh baby oh baby they’re back per the Demand of the People!!
As some of you may know, my poor little boy was taken DOWN by the Pokemon company for being too similar to a certain somebody who I’ve never even heard of before, hah.. but that’s besides the point. There was still a huge amount of demand for these boys, so I’ve been working on fixing and adding cute little features to a REBORN rendition!! In celebration, a highly requested EAT THE RICH shirt is now available (I’ve also been really feeling that vibe recently, like those fucking space rocket billionaires)
BIG BOY REDUX: EAT THE RICH
BIG BOY REDUX: TAX EVASION
Anywho thanks for the support, was quite spooky when p*kemon company came knockin down my door, I’m glad you guys are still interested and wanna support my stuff! this goes straight to college shit, so it’s a help - It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these so I know there’s a lotta folk hankering to acquire one, I will leave it open til AUGUST 14th!!! So snag one whilst you can! They only open up every other month now!
God I have no impulse control
Fantastic news for me
Aye I’m giving out a discount code:
Energized
Enjoy go nuts!
Only two days left, thanks for another crazy result cha
Do you plan to resell these things closer to wintertime (or I guess to avoid confusion towards the end of the year)? Because I need a new sweatshirt but definatley not now in the peak of summer.
Why does tumblr sometimes say I have notifications but when I go into thr tab I have nothing?
*alleviates your anxiety by replacing it with new, less relevant anxiety”
*distracts you from the state of the world by giving you a phobia of blue whales*
Gaud its just a whale. Have you ever met a blue whale? It won’t hurt you.
listen fucker, whale songs can be twice as loud as a fucking jet engine, more than loud enough to burst eardrums, paralyze limbs and cause organ damage at close range. sperm whales, the loudest animal on the planet, could literally vibrate a human body to death. the sheer fact they don’t is either ignorance, choice, or lack of opportunity–not inability. as for blue whales (aka the biggest creature to exist ever despite the fact that megafauna roamed the earth for tens of millions of years before these fucks came around), well a blue whale’s corpse is capable of literally exploding from gas buildup. and that’s not even getting into my extreme visceral discomfort surrounding whale falls aka the process of a whale carcass falling abyssal depths of thousands and thousands of feet, just falling through the fucking water to the ocean floor and creating a complex localized ecosystem capable of sustaining who-knows-what kind of deep-sea terrors for decades, so kindly get fucked.
Ok but you gotta admit that’s it’s nice how they become a life bringer to so many creatures once their time ends. They sustain the ocean. Givin back to what gave them their life.
they sustain fucking zombie worms is what they fucking sustain. also called bone-eating worms, these fuckers literally evolved to consume the bones of fucking plesiosaurs circa 100 million years ago. nowadays they make due with whale skeletons.
these zombie fucks have scavenged so many skeletal remains over the years that it’s hard to find fossils of all the freaky ocean leviathans that used to swarm around down there. yes, that’s right, they’ve eaten so many fucking skeletons that they’ve drastically altered the fossil record. who fucking does that? you ever hear of anyone breaking into the Museum Of Natural History and merrily munching, contentedly crunching, cheerfully chewing away on the goddamn dinosaur exhibits?
no. no you don’t, bc that would be fucking rude.
and these wriggling little nitwits might have finally died out if whales hadn’t come along to act as an damnable ocean buffet-on-wheels flippers. motherfucker we were so close. i have so many feelings about zombie worms i need to lie down
Didn't you say you got over your fear or whales? Also this is more fascinating to me then anything to be completely honest.
oh. oh i think i just got over my primal fear of blue whales
How?
tumblr choose a topic and i’ll make it creepy
Potatoes
you awake and discover a skin tag growing on the front of your knee. it’s a small thing, but it gets bigger every night. you trim it with fingernail scissors. it comes back. you repeat this week after week. it will not stop growing. curious, you stop trimming it, stop picking at it. you let it grow. it gets longer, taller. it turns rough and knobby, developing multiple nodes. the skin around your knee grows dry and dusty. another skin tag pops up. and another, and another. one day, absentmindedly, you break a smaller one off with your fingers. it snaps away with a soft crunching noise, leaves a little indent behind. the skin underneath is white and wet. and rough, like sand—like starch. your knee develops strange bruises and patches. the skin tags grow longer and longer. finally one morning you wake up and discover: a single small leaf has sprouted. your kneecap is a potato.
love it when my posts come full circle like these. here’s a post from like 3 years ago:
(significantly more cursed version here)
I said this list time you made something creepy and ill say it again
Do pillows
new abyss just dropped
what features does it have over the old abyss?
arcade game and library
The hell are you talking about
what i said
new abyss dropped
there weren’t enough abysses so they built a new one. it has an arcade
What in the fuck
it’s called the Deep Dive Dubai, and as of a few days ago it’s the deepest swimming pool in the world! (surpassing Deepspot)
It’s a horrifying abyss of calamity luxury diving center that breaks the world record at 60m (196 feet) deep. For reference, imagine like…a 20 story apartment building. Which is what its design is based on actually—an abandoned apartment building! Fun lifelike props simulate environments you will find naturally occurring on the ocean floor (in a few centuries anyway, when the flood times come) including:
a garage (car included)
bathrooms (use is strongly frowned upon)
an underwater library (well, it’s all underwater. nice magazine collection though)
graffiti (i like the puffer fish with the shocked pikachu expression)
chess table (eh)
a functional arcade
yeah, i wasn’t kidding about the arcade.
they’ve got foosball and even……pool.
ko-fi
I have no clue why I am asking this as I have thallasophobia, but how does one swim in this? Is it like a business, like could you just go in and purchase a dive? Or do you need an invitation or something?
so there's this sauce I really like to put on scrambled eggs but the guy on the bottle looks like he's about to call me a slur. hold on
Dude, that is literally my great grandfather Cecil... That photo is his wedding photo. The marinade has my great grandmother as well as the pasta sauce. My great uncle owns the company. Though I doubt he would call you a slur, if only because he doesn't know you.
can't decide if I'm more upset his name isn't Thomas or that this is the second time this whole accidentally-meeting-the-subject-of-my-post's-great-grandchild thing has happened to me on tumblr.hellsite
What was the first time you met a great grandchild of the subject of your post?
Yall wanna hear a terrible idea I had?
I don’t care that nobody asked, I’m gonna tell you guys
This idea came to me in the shower, as all great ideas do, I’m sure the idea for Minecraft came in the shower. Anyway, yesterday was a bad day for me to have a brain because I thought, well hey, the base Friday Night Funkin’ input system is the arrow keys right? Well, expurgation is the hardest 4 key song.
I thought, hey wouldn’t it be so funny if I tried to beat Expurgation with only 4 keys? As soon as I got out of the shower I attempted this, and whoo boy is it hard, like really hard, like to the point where I think it may be impossible.
But, I thought, why not try, right? So from now on until I either beat it or give up, I will be streaming attempts of this super hard challenge on my youtube channel. Good luck to me. I also challenge anyone else up to it to attempt this challenge to, just post progress or what not under the tag “hardest fnf challenge” so that I can find it, cheers!
Actually, just tag me if you make a post about this challenge.
once again for the bargain price of $6.66 i will present to you a Top 5 Childhood Misadventures: April Fool’s Edition
Presenting:
The Saga Of The Stolen Door
Ah, to be young and filled with mirth and rage.
I was 14 at the time. 14 was not a good year for me. New town, new house, new school to adjust to, and that’s not even counting the complications of being an Undiagnosed Autistic Teenager. Ah, puberty. You think you’re finally catching up, and suddenly there’s a whole parade of shiny new developmental delays to widen the gap between you and your peers. Ah, nostalgia.
Point is, it was a difficult year for me and my 2 siblings. So when April rolled around? I decided, quite magnanimously I thought, a sign of benevolence of character and all that, that we all deserved a good laugh.
Well, that is one version of events.
The second version of events is: my siblings and I had spend the year driving each other up the walls. Up the walls, through the ceiling, past the colony of attic-dwelling dust bunnies, around the rafters and straight to cracking our skulls on the new roofing tiles (terracotta).
The thing about the house we were living in at the time…it was weird. It was a weird house. Rooms with too many corners. Windows shoved in bizarre places. Odd flourishes of grandeur.
Keep reading
It occurs to me, in hindsight (glorious, alluring, unobtainable hindsight), that if one is determined to go about removing a door in this manner, there is probably a correct order in which to remove screws from a doorframe.
I did not choose that order.
Keep reading
At this point, it may have occurred to some of you that I am not much of a planner.
Keep reading
Dear Reader, let me snatch back my words. Earlier, I compared my tale to the Tragedy of Icarus. This was not wholly accurate, because you will note that Icaraus’s primary tragedy was that he was an insipid little bitch who couldn’t get his act together.
Keep reading
Let us skip ahead.
Keep reading
FINAL CHAPTER
Keep reading
one final detail, the briefest epilogue, the cherry & sprinkles atop the sundae.
(I’m not 100% sure my memory is accurate on this part, and I’m too scared to ask Claire, but from what I personally remember) not only did it take her 3 days to realize her bedroom door was missing: when she finally noticed, it was specifically because she was having an argument with Mom.
She tried to slam the door and–surprise :)
ko-fi
am worried some of you (wisely) neglected to click ‘keep reading’, in which case you missed my exquisite illustrations
fun fact: the pink ass in the last panel is modeled on a classical painting of Sisyphus pushing his boulder up the mountain. That is Sisyphus’s ass.
Finally took the time to read this and it was a Rollercoaster. Also surprisingly great writing, really articulative and creative with the wording.
BUTT you also really liked the illustrations right?
I see what you did there. But yes, as someone with aphantasia, aka I cannot visualize stuff, it really helped me to understand what had happened at that moment.
Yall wanna hear a terrible idea I had?
I don’t care that nobody asked, I’m gonna tell you guys
This idea came to me in the shower, as all great ideas do, I’m sure the idea for Minecraft came in the shower. Anyway, yesterday was a bad day for me to have a brain because I thought, well hey, the base Friday Night Funkin’ input system is the arrow keys right? Well, expurgation is the hardest 4 key song.
I thought, hey wouldn’t it be so funny if I tried to beat Expurgation with only 4 keys? As soon as I got out of the shower I attempted this, and whoo boy is it hard, like really hard, like to the point where I think it may be impossible.
But, I thought, why not try, right? So from now on until I either beat it or give up, I will be streaming attempts of this super hard challenge on my youtube channel. Good luck to me. I also challenge anyone else up to it to attempt this challenge to, just post progress or what not under the tag “hardest fnf challenge” so that I can find it, cheers!
Expurgation is actually really good, but dear God it is hard, no question the hardest song In any mod.
Oh yea forgot about this social media site, I beat expurgation a while ago.
Yall wanna hear a terrible idea I had?
oh. oh I am going to THROW something
….a party?
a person off of a roof maybe. haven't decided yet
I'm gonna throw a refrigerator out a window. I'm gonna toss a mid-sized volkswagon off the golden gate bridge. I am SEETHING.
I have had sleep issues my entire life and I just found out it takes a normal, healthy person 5 to 20 MINUTES to fall asleep at night. TWENTY goddamn minutes. what the complete, fully catalogued FUCK
5???? I take like 30 huhh???
The shoes y'all help me pick out which I got as a present from my fam have arrived 🥺 Ragnar says they look great and would look even greater if I took them out for a walk... with him in tow 😂
The dog:
What??? They're blue and white!
Ms one-time-i-dreamt do you have tiny feet or is your dog gigantic
He big 🥺 more to love 🥰
Do thongs count as shoes? Or just foot-coverings? I feel like crocs aren't shoes, and if crocs aren't shoes, thongs definitely aren't, even if they have an extra strap.
Wait, what? Thongs?
Thongs are what Australians call flip flops
Ooooooh, I've never heard that. I'm not a native English speaker either way. Flip flops are shoes though, are they not?
If it protects ya feet from (at least) the ground it's shoes babey
Agreed, I think so too!
On an unrelated note - whoever is sending me anons offering to suck my toes and asking for feet pics, please stop.
I had to start over and read this post a second time just because my mind couldn't even comprehend this in one go
@one-time-i-dreamt. Send em pics of your dogs feet
Everyone who has seen this owes me $30
why are they black and gold in the first two but blue and white in the picture with the dog paws what the fuck
Op what the fuck is going on??
I think people are going to send me money for paw pics
Not again
What do you mean 'again'? No one ever sent me money for pics of Ragnar's paws! Speaking of which, here is a comparison photo of Ragnar next to me because people were curious about his size.
I had to take a photo with Kai too because she was jealous of all the attention Ragnar was getting!
What breed of dogs are your two dogs? I am not very good at recognizing dog breeds sorry.
