MATTERS OF THE HEART | PART 1|
Katara walked on the balcony of the theatre and followed the sight of the younger boy. " Hey Aang."she said and the boy with the hat turned and looked at her.
" Are you alright?"she asked worried while standing behind him with her red cloth to cover her body beautifully and her arms crossed.
The whole night was a disaster. He had to sit at the whole play, next to Zuko, the one and only rival (to his romance at this time), where he actually didn't have any idea that he existed and that he shared this romantic moment with Katara at the dungeon.
So, that explains the look of Katara and her hatred towards Zuko!
Aaaahh!!
He was such an idiot!
He thought that Katara didn't want Zuko in the team because he would try to catch him all over again, not because she may have some feelings for him! But did Zuko ever shown that he liked Katara? Or maybe he did but Aang didn't have any idea? Just like the dungeon incident. What if he shared a moment with Katara when Zuko went with her to find the killer of her mother? What if their hug was not friendly?
Aang felt the anger inside his chest.
How could this have happened?
He met her first!
She was the love of his life, right?
The fortune teller said that Katara was going to marry a very powerful bender. So, Aang thought that it could be him. But what if he wasn't? She didn't say you're going to marry the Avatar. The Avatar is the most powerful member. Right? But again, the fortune teller wasn't always right. But what if she was and Aang was the one who Katara loved?
" I-I'm not! "He said with tight eyebrows.
He took out his hat and threw it on the floor.
" I hate that play!"he said angry.
Katara walked towards him.
" Well, it's not the best, but I think you're overreacting."she said.
Aang turned towards her and looked at her angry.
" I'm overreacting? If I hadn't locked my chakra, I would be in the Avatar State right now!" he yelled and then looked in front of him.
Katara looked down sad and touched the wooden rail with her hands.
The moon was giving its light to the water.
Aang tightened his fist and took a deep breath.
If the fortune teller was right, if the prediction of hers was referring to Aang, then... Then he needed an answer.
He needed an answer or he would go insane!
" Katara did you actually meant what you said in there?"he asked.
" Where? What do you mean?"she asked.
Aang looked at her.
" At the stage. That you only see me as your little brother and... Not like a boy. D-do you understand?"asked Aang and Katara lifted her eyebrows.
" Aang, the actress said that."she replied and touched her left arm.
Aang huffed.
" Yeah, but is it true?"he said and looked down.
" We kissed in the invasion and I thought that we would be together but...We're not."said Aang with a sad expression on his face.
Katara looked down and closed her eyes.
She loved Aang.
But she wasn't sure that she loved him more than a friend or if she actually did. And she clearly wasn't ready to give him an answer. She needed to be sure is she was going to reply to him about her feelings. She did, shared her first kiss with him.
But...
She wasn't expecting that.
And how could see like someone? The only boy that she ever had feelings for, was Jet. And Jet was gone. And it's not that Katara ever felt the same for any other boy.
Well...
That would be a lie...
She wasn't sure about that too.
When Zuko betrayed them and went to team up with Azula, Katara felt the same pain she felt when she learned about Jet's intentions and the destruction of the village. But with Zuko's case the opposite happened for a moment. Something made her see her old enemy differently when they were alone in the dungeon. Something made her see him. Their conversation, the words they said, the emotions they seemed to share. Somehow Zuko made her forgive him even for a tiny moment. And then, when she touched his wound, she felt his innocence. It wasn't long before Katara understood that his wound should have happened from a very close distance. That only someone cruel and heartless would do something like that. She felt that he was just a boy trapped in a war just like her. Someone who had to grow faster than the correct time he was supposed to. Just like her. The loss of his mother, their loss of their mothers. Two people that were different from the places they were born. Made for something more. To fight for their truths.
After his betrayal, Katara felt heartbroken. The first time she left someone see her like she was, showing him her dark side (the dark side that Aang was afraid of), and immediately betrayed her. Even though, at the time they were exiting the cave with Aang, she met Zuko's gaze. And actually, saw the kindness in his eyes. And made her feel that with that glimpse of their eyes, they would share this moment. They would have a secret.
Just between them.
She wondered, if Aang and Zuko's uncle didn't make it on time, would she manage to heal his wound? Would that meant that right now he will be by her side? But again, Aang wouldn't.
It didn't matter though. She couldn't trust another boy in her life again. What if they would betray her again? And then Zuko came to ask for forgiveness again and she thought that he was lying but then...Then he helped her find the killer of her mother. He understood for once again her pain.
And Aang didn't.
So, what if she just liked Aang's kiss because she never had kissed anyone else?
But again wh-what if she was lying to herself though?
Maybe she had romantic feelings for Aang. Feelings that she never thought they were there. Maybe she was just afraid of betrayal. How could she give him an answer so quickly?
Her eyes fell upon the dark sea in front of her.
" Aang...I don't know."she replied.
The shorter boy looked at her.
" Why don't you know?"he said and Katara turned and met his eyes.
She tightened her eyebrows.
" Because we are in the middle of a war."she said and crossed her arms.
Her blue eyes started to look up.
" We have other things to think."she
looked down.
Her guilt about not giving him an answer made her feel awful. But what if she was lying to him? She preferred to not discuss about the matter at the time, then to lie to him. Besides, he needed to take down the Fire Lord. So, a heartbreak or a not so sure promise of her love, would distract him from his goal.
" This is not the right time."she said.
The little boy felt the sweat to his forehead.
" And when is going to be?"asked Aang nervously.
Katara crossed her arms and looked down again.
Exactly.
When was the right time to discuss about it? She didn't know either. So, how could she answer to him? Those black eyes, of the small child that now belonged to a more mature boy, were looking at her and waiting for her answer. Katara had learn that Aang trusted her, but she could feel with the edge of her eye, his gaze to look at her, persistently. But how could she not answering him? She was always the one who would make him feel sure for himself. She would always be by his side and agreeing with him in most of his decisions.
But at that time, she wasn't.
Because she didn't know.
All those thoughts inside her mind, making her feel dizzy, make her consider many facts, many possibilities, not helping her to decide or respond about her feelings...
She was so confused!
" Aang...I'm sorry."she said and turned and looked at him with a sad expression on her face.
" But right now, I'm still a little confused."she said and touched her braid with her hands nervously.
She closed her eyes.
That was the only honest answer she could give him.
That or she would stay silent.
Aang lifted up his eyebrows and then looked down sad.
Maybe, maybe if he was showing her that he loved her, he would make her understand. If he was about to fight the strongest enemy of the world again, he needed an answer from her. He was in love with her since the day she met her. But what if she wasn't? But it wasn't the fact that she didn't like their kiss. Right? If she hated it, she would tell him. Yet again, what she meant with the fact that she was confused? How could she be confused? Did she or did she not like their kiss? And she didn't deny that she liked Zuko either. Only that the actress said that.
He moved his body and without being able to control his mind, he decided to risk it. His black eyes fell upon the taller girl with the closed eyes and he put his lips against her's.
This was the moment of truth.
This would be the moment that she would tell him if she loved him or Zuko.
Katara opened her eyesย surprised and took a step back.
She touched her lips in shock and she felt the anger to conquer her chest.
" I just said, I was confused!"she said loudly.
Aang lifted his eyebrows surprised.
The young girl looked down.
" I'm going inside."she said and she swallowed slowly.
She run towards the theatre without saying anything else and Aang felt the guilt as he was looking at her going inside. He hit his head with his hand.
" I'm such an idiot!"he said and put his head on the rail.
Katara stopped in front of the door of the room that the play had just started from the ten minutes brake. She tightened her fist and a tear fell on her cheek.
What was wrong with her?
D-did that meant that she didn't have the same feelings for Aang?
She didn't want to break his heart though.
But she still, didn't know!
She passed the red curtain and walked towards her seat.
" Where is Aang?"she heard the older's boy voice and turned and met his golden eyes.
The boy with the dark, short brown hair and the scar, met her blue eyes.
Zuko.
She lifted her eyebrows.
How could she even look at him in the eyes now that she remembered the incident at the dungeon and the thoughts that she had about him?
" H-he'll be back in a moment."she replied while looking down. She felt the blush on her cheeks and the older boy to look at the stage.
His presence was too much for her at that time.
After a little, her eyes fell upon the younger boy that this time sat to the behind seats, next to her brother and Suki and she couldn't hide the fact that she felt a little bad. Did that meant that her, not accepting his kiss would lead their relationship to an end?
And what about their friendship?
Aang was so important to her!
She swallowed slowly and tried to avoid her thoughts from ruining her night more, so she focused on the play.
Which was a bad idea.
Especially when the actors of the play, showed them the last scene. And the worst fears of Katara, we're shown in front of her eyes.
The end of Avatar.
His death.
And the win of the Fire Nation.
After the end of the play and the applause from the Fire Nation citizens, she and her friends commented on the play, while leaving the theatre. As much as she tried to avoid thinking about the matter, when they all arrived at the summer house of Lord Ozai and Aang and the rest had gone to sleep, she sat on the stoned stairs and put her eyes on the sea that the rays of the moon were giving it their light.
" What happened?"she heard a girl's voice and looked behind her. The younger, blind girl with the black hair and the red clothes walked towards her and sat next to her on the stairs. " Toph."said Katara.
" Your heartbeat is beating really fast all night. It made even me worried."she said and Katara smiled. Toph always knew of how to make her laugh in times like this. Just like her brother Sokka.
" Well..."said Katara and put her face upon her knees, after placing them near her jaw.
" I-it's Aang. W-we had a moment in the first invasion but... I'm not sure. But tonight, he waited for an answer and I wasn't ready to answer him. It made me feel awful and I thought that this was the worst that could happened but then..."she said and left a deep breath while having a sad expression on her face.
" He kissed me and I pulled back."said Katara.
Toph lifted her eyebrows surprised.
" You sound sad about it. Do you regret pulling back from the kiss?"asked Toph.
" No, but..."said Katara.
" I feel like I'm hurting his feelings."she replied and huffed.
Toph took a deep breath.
" We all know that Twinkletoes has feelings for you. But if he, showing his feelings makes you feel sad then...What's the point?"she said and Katara raised her eyebrows surprised and turned and looked at her friend.
" Aang is your friend. If his love for you is real, then he will accept you even as his family if you don't want to be his girlfriend."said Toph with a small smile.
Katara looked down.
" Thanks, Toph."she said and lend her a smile.
" And this is why I can't understand all of you! It's gross to kiss each other!"she said and pulled her tongue out of her mouth while thinking it.
Katara laughed.
" Maybe you'll understand in the future."said Katara and touched her friend's shoulder.
Toph smiled a little and a pink blush appeared on her cheeks.
Some minutes passed and the tall, older boy raised his body from the bed. He felt his body to be hot and walked on the halfway of his house. He touched his hair and walked outside at the garden. He sat on the stairs and took a deep breath.
The night was so weird!
His guilt about his betrayal made him be sleepless even though Toph managed to calm him down for some hours. He was still, feeling awful about it. He betrayed the one person that he loved him. The one person that be believed in him. His own uncle.
Well, this was a lie.
After his mother and his uncle, Katara was the first person that trusted him. She even tried to heal his wound. Zuko touched his wounded eye and looked down. He had made Katara forgive him, but he still was feeling that something was missing.
He became a member of their team, their friend, so what?
And that damn play, made his thoughts to run inside his head all night!
The most peculiar thing that he saw, besides the weird end of Jet and the end of the Avatar, was the scene with the dungeon in Ba Sing She. The time that he and Katara spoke their truths for the first time. He couldn't really forget about it. But he believed that after Katara's forgiveness he would feel alright again. When he shared his thoughts with her, when Katara started to listen to him after he joined the team...
Mai never really accepted to hear his thoughts. And that, even though he never said that, was making him feel sad. How could the love of his life never hear him out? Could never be by his side, but Katara, the girl that he once was an enemy to, believed in him? Listened to him and in the end trusted him?
He rubbed his neck while looking down sad.
In the scene the actors, became a couple. Did that mean that he and Katara had a romantic moment? What if Katara thought about that too? He tightened his eyebrows in frustration.
Was their moment romantic?
Or just an understanding situation between people that lost someone they loved deeply?
They were friends now, but why he was still feeling that something was missing from their relationship?
He hated it!
He hated it, thinking too much!
"Zuko?" he lifted his eyebrows when her voice sounded.
He turned his upper naked body towards her and Katara's blue eyes fell upon the tall boy with the red pants. " I thought that you were sleeping." she said and looked down.
His golden eyes sparkled inside the darkness while observing the shorter girl.
" I-I wanted some air. I couldn't sleep."he said and rubbed his neck while looking away.
Katara looked at him with an awkward smile.
" Yeah, it's been a weird night ha?"she said and touched her arm with her hand.
" Yes. We saw many weird things in the play." he said with an awkward smile too.
Katara looked at him.
" Yes likeโฆ"she asked trying to continue the conversation.
Zuko rubbed the behind part of his neck. " Like the end of the war... I-I wouldn't want it to end like that." said Zuko and Katara faked a laughter.
" Me neither. "she said while looking down.
Zuko looked down too.
If he was going talk to her about it, would Katara give him some advice? Or just avoid the topic? Was he going to ask her about it? Even though Katara never but ever had shown any sign that...
Katara lifted her eyebrows.
Even though she couldn't even look at him, she could not accept the fact that he seemed bothered by something. Like something was making him feel bad. His expression was showing frustration and Katara knew that he was carrying a burden inside him.
" What's wrong?"she asked and the older boy looked at her surprised.
He tightened his fist.
" I'm thinking about something all night."he said and Katara lifted her eyebrows.
She went a little closer to him.
" Wh-what?"she said.
Her blue eyes looked at him in the dark.
" W-well..."he said and swallowed slowly.
Katara tightened her fist too and felt the sweat to run through her forehead.
Zuko wasn't the only one with a burden. And if her, asking him about the dungeon incident, would help her clear things out, and maybe actually organize her thoughts and then finding the truth about her feelings, she would risk it.
" About the scene that we were in Ba Sing She..."said Katara and Zuko lifted his eyebrows.
He looked at the young girl that was looking down and touching her arm.
" Wh-what did you think about it?"she asked.
Zuko looked at her surprised.
He didnโt think that she would ask him about it too.
" Wh-what do you mean?"he asked.
" Y-you know..."said Katara while trying to avoid his gaze with difficulty.
She felt her cheeks to be on fire and the blush to appear.
Her shyness to conquer her.
" D-did you like the end of it?"she asked and closed her eyes.
Zuko opened widely his eyes.
" Y-you mean... Th-their hug?"he asked.
Katara nodded without saying anything else. Zuko rubbed the behind part of his neck and looked down. Was he actually going to answer that? And why did Katara...?
He swallowed slowly.
He needed to know!
" I-I suppose." he replied and Katara looked at him shocked.
" Y-you did?"she said.
Zuko felt the blush in his cheeks.
" It's a play. Right?"he said and Katara looked at him confused.
" W-well, yeah but... Th-those actors were playing us so..."she said and Zuko rubbed again his head. " I should go and sleep. I have a training with Aang tomorrow." he said and turned his body towards her.
Katara goggled her eyes from the shock as the older boy was walking away and nervously blinked them.
What just happened? She thought.
