this is to all who have loved me, and by doing so wronged me.
i knew i was beautiful. i had soulful eyes and a laugh that could shake the earth, and my body was carved in stone by a god i denied. i was tender and strong.
i still feel the moss growing over my body when i died, and hear my sisters and mothers weep. this body is beautiful but it numbs me.
i seem to forget i was a goddess three thousand years ago. this life is blurring the edges. i get lost on the highway and when you don’t answer your phone. i get lost in a life so modern it erases my ancient needs.
you should’ve praised me like i did you. you should’ve left sacrifices at my feet, as i did, too.
i am not sorry you couldn’t love me in all the ways i needed, you do not blame a dog for not seeing red. i am in sorrow for you. you had the world in your hands and said it was too heavy.
i choose to love and i choose to drown you in my sweetness and to pour my honey down your throat, but i refuse to allow you to drown my water and can no longer waste my nectar.
to understand this is simple. i am a mighty beast. if i am not fed i have no master. if i am not cared for i bite. you can only expect a creature on a chain to be complicit so long.
i have learnt that i require a certain degree of love back. and i know you do not hear the vibrations in the tenth dimension of my soul to be able to dance to my music. so i cannot blame you for your tranquil state.
many times i have been told the fault is in how i love. i think that is simply an easy way for my victims to release themselves from blame. if i am the one that loves too much they are not the ones that is unable to love me back.
i find no shame in my passionate ways. i do not feel naked with no walls built around me. in fact that makes me stronger than any man hiding cowardly behind his defences. i am ready for war. and when i am defeated i am ready once again, yet to find a worthy opponent.
you must understand that i do not need you. there is no thing by nature that is tethering me to you. i have decided to want you. i have tied us together. but my ropes are only so long and if you do not hold on we will fall. the difference is i land on my feet.
my hands have ached from the love letter written, my heart moreover from the letters unreceived.
i cannot beg for love any longer. it is pitiful to cry in the desert just to have something to drink.