straight vibing

minus the first part we don’t do that here

[aggressionbread]

whatever. its not like i wanted my shit schlonked silly style anyway

[canlifechillforasecond]

I love coming across polls they’re like little checkpoints of self reflection. After lots of thought I can say that my favorite reptile is a turtle.

[kebbopulos]

[louferrignojrofficial]

the spn drama could take a whole year to explain in the least so i’m good

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[andhumanslovedstories]

The other day on shift, I was walking down the hallway when a confused old man started yelling. This is fairly common in the hospital, so I ducked into his room and was like "hey dude what's up" and he's like "so sorry to yell but do you know where I am and what year it is" so I reoriented him to a bunch of stuff and explained why so many people were walking past his door, and he seemed much calmer and more oriented by the time we were done talking. And he says "and what's your name?" So I tell him "Sarah" and he stares at me so I repeat "Sarah" and he stares at me so I spell "S-A-R-A-H" and he stares at me so I show him my name badge and he stares at me and then he says "now forgive me for being so blunt. But I was under the impression that Sarah is a girls name. Is that no longer correct?"

Anyway y'all ever be so fucking gnc that you inadvertently gaslight a confused old man into thinking there's yet another part of the world he no longer understands?

[andhumanslovedstories]

Not to keep bragging about my masculine vibes, but another very pleasant dementia patient today called me nice young man. Assigned gender by Gladys.

[corvidsarecool]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

One of my favorite thing I’ve learned about animals studies is that you should avoid using colorful leg bands when you’re banding birds because you can accidentally completely skew the data because female birds prefer males with colorful bands

Apparently if you put a red band on a male red wing blackbird his harem size can double

So like you can completely frick up the natural reproduction of a group of birds by giving a guy a bracelet so stylish that females CANNOT resist him

[volcanokids]

Me, putting a red bracelet on the leg of a male red wing blackbird: ON GOD we gonna get u some pussy bro

[jordisstigander]

I remember reading a study where researchers realized that female birds of a certain species preferred males with a darker breast. So they created what they literally called a “Super-Sexy Male” by catching a male and coloring his chest with a marker. They then ran dna tests on the eggs in the area.

Previously when the researchers had run these tests, they found a certain amount of infidelity was common for these birds. Somewhere around 10% of eggs were fathered by males who were not the primary mates of females.

After the advent of the Super Sexy Male, however, stuff got crazy in bird world. Infidelity skyrocketed, with upwards of 25% of ALL EGGS in the area being fathered by this specific male. Furthermore, his mate’s eggs were 100% his.

This is just insane to me. Just imagine you’re living your bird life when suddenly somebody scribbles on Dave’s chest and the ladies can’t stop throwing themselves at them. It’s stupid that we theoretically can wreck this kind of havoc on an ecosystem.

[dominant-dominion]

You're unable to 🥺 out of this one whore.

[puppygirlisland-deactivated2024]

can't tell if this is meant to be sexual but i immediately imagined the irs saying this to me

[furbearingbrick]

i’d love to study you

[juenavei]

him a star now!

[cryptotheism]

Agree to do petplay with a girl and I just run around naked in the bushes devestating the local ecosystem for several weeks until I get hit by a car and go to hell because I can't be Catholic

[bexondeck]

of all of the bizarre things I’ve seen while working in skilled nursing the one that’s going to stick with me until I die is bug god

[bexondeck]

nothing can possibly prepare you for the moment you show up to give a man his apple juice and he says “Do you think bugs come from the same god as us? They’re older than our god. They have their own.”

[trainerdawn]

have you guys heard about wizard101 getting hacked the other day. ive never once played the game in my life but whatever happened there is absolutely hilarious

[trainerdawn]

[recklessmoss]

say what u want about the manscaped ads I know they are shit, all of them but the “evil, sinister, malcontent, balls” one puts me into fucking hysterics actually

[recklessmoss]

please this is SO funny

[recklessmoss]

HUH?!

[bigbadbutch]

[rslashrats]

forbidden neil the rat photos

[cryptid-on-a-string]

It’s the 16th anniversary of Neil banging out the tunes, so I’m throwing him a sweet 16 birthday party, he’s a very good rat boy he deserves it :3

[ashstfu]

what is ur love language

my love language?? all of them. i’m multilingual. just have an enormous heart i guess

[hockeydiva]

[myofibril]

my toxic trait is i refuse to use any alternative to tumblr. i will be here literally until it implodes. there will be 4 total posts on the entire platform and i’ll still be here. then when it dies i will take my graceful exit from social media

[beetrootbot]

A scrimblo and her bimbinis,,,